Black Rites of Passage Ceremonies

CrimsonTide4 · #1 10-11-2002, 09:57 PM

Lately I have been thinking that we as Black folks need some sort of rites of passage ceremony for our children today. We need to teach them/prepare them for life outside of their parent's home. Having watched Roots and seeing the Manhood Training that his tribal group experienced, I am very much in favor of having a Rites of Passage for Black Americans. I know that some of our orgs and churches have cotillions, men cotillions, etc. but not everyone is able to afford those activities which limits our target audience.

Questions:
Do we need a Rites of Passage for our youth today?
If so, what things should be taught to our children in this ceremony?
What would be the benefits of having a Rites of Passage?

JinglesSpr99 · #2 10-12-2002, 01:39 AM

Wow! I was watching a wedding story on thursday. The bride and groom met in Jack and Jill. That made me think of the cotillion at home. I was never a debutant but sometimes wish I would have been. I think a rite of passage would be nice. Here are things that I wish it would teach..
respect(for themselves and others), honesty, and just of thought of saying here now you are considered an adult. There are too many times that i turn on tv and some 7 year old is talking about I AM GROWN.. YOu Don't know me.....
One thing I think that is adorable is in some of the 15th birthday of hispanic girls.. they pass a doll onto a younger girl. This is a symbol of her last doll.

Love_Spell_6 · #3 10-13-2002, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CrimsonTide4

Questions:
Do we need a Rites of Passage for our youth today?
If so, what things should be taught to our children in this ceremony?
What would be the benefits of having a Rites of Passage?

I also think there should be a rites of passage for our youth. I think thay many of our youth don't have a good background in sound morals and guidance like some of their white counterparts. Some of the things that I think should be taught are:

1. Proper English!
I am a stickler for this. I always tell my nieces and nephews to enunciate!! and that there is a time and place for slang! When I was in high school, people told me that I talked White because I spoke good English. (that is a form of self hate...but that's another thread!)
2. The importance of trusting/believing in God
3. Respect for each other, especially to our women (from our men)
4. Attire in certain situations/grooming. I think that not only do you get categorized by the way you dress because it portrays a certain image, but attire is important because when you look good (presentable i.e. no bbal cap, no sagging paints, excessively revealing clothes) you feel good and a first impressio is a lasting impression.
5. The true legacy of African and African/ American peoples

OK....ok....I think I'm getting away from the point here. I have just listed things that I feel our youth should change/be taught before they go on to college/the real world etc. It just concerns me when I see some of our youth on the collegiate level that lack the ability to have a coherent/gramatically correct conversations. This affects them when they have interviews etc.

I also know that some of these things should be taught in the home, and may be a little trivial. but many of our kids are missing out because of how they're growing up.

A benefit of a rites of passage ceremony would be a more realistic preparation for competing in the real world for them.

ZTAMiami · #4 10-14-2002, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JinglesSpr99
One thing I think that is adorable is in some of the 15th birthday of hispanic girls.. they pass a doll onto a younger girl. This is a symbol of her last doll.

Yep!! And if you want to get really traditional...
the 'quinceanera' enters the ball room wearing flats and her father comes in and changes her into high heels before they dance together!

I wish I could have had one

--sorry to intrude--
I think this is a really great topic though!

Steeltrap · #5 10-14-2002, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ZTAMiami

Yep!! And if you want to get really traditional...
the 'quinceanera' enters the ball room wearing flats and her father comes in and changes her into high heels before they dance together!
I wish I could have had one

--sorry to intrude--
I think this is a really great topic though!

ZTAMiami,

Are quinceanera ceremonies common in other Latino cultures? I'm in Southern California, and I've mainly seen them among young ladies of Mexican-American descent.

ZTAMiami · #6 10-14-2002, 03:56 PM

Steeltrap:

Yes it is. I know that this was brought into the americas as a Spanish tradition.
I don't know how Mexican Americans do it but while growing up I attended/danced in Quinces for Cuban, Dominican and Puerto Rican girls.
Quinceanera parties are traditionaly preceded by a Catholic Mass (although not many people do this anymore) followed by the party held at a banquet hall. 15 couples dressed in matching gowns/tuxes dance choreographed numbers which include a waltz, salsa or merenque (depending on where your from) a slow spanish ballad etc. The quinceanera will wear white (or any color nowadays) and wears a tiara on her head. There is also an MC providing the important information as to what her favorite color,song,subject,animal,perfume is LOL! These turn out to be extremely elaborate and expensive affairs including limos and professional photographers! Think of it as a pre-wedding. And this is not just for the wealthy let me tell you. The family will scrimp and borrow just to put the party on. Sometimes the quinceanera will be brought in on some sort of prop like a carriage or something. Yes it can be quite tacky at times!
This is most definetely considered a rite of passage in the sense that traditionally this is when a girl begins to be treated as a 'senorita' and is prepared for the ways of womanhood. Although we know in this country most 12 year olds have already seen and heard it all, right?!

I think that a establishing a rite of pasage for African American girls is an excellent idea. Some of my southern sisters have told me about cotillions but it seems to be a privilege of the white upper class.
Good luck and if you need help with brainstorming let me know, I'd love to help.

Steeltrap · #7 10-14-2002, 04:06 PM

What an interesting post, and thank you for explaining.

Back to the question at hand, I do favor a rite of passage for both sexes. I want to see a lot of things that Love_Spell_6 recommended, as well as some positive cultural attributes.

ZTAMiami · #8 10-14-2002, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Steeltrap
What an interesting post, and thank you for explaining.

Back to the question at hand, I do favor a rite of passage for both sexes. I want to see a lot of things that Love_Spell_6 recommended, as well as some positive cultural attributes.

No problem! Anytime!
How about researching traditional African intitiation rites and see if there is something that can be altered to fit into African American culture.

AKA2D '91 · #9 10-14-2002, 07:03 PM

Good points Love_Spell_6.

Going BACK to the BASICS

Saying AT ALL TIMES:

THANK YOU/ YOU'RE WELCOME

YES/NO MA'AM/SIR

PLEASE

GOOD MORNING/EVENING

I APOLOGIZE

MAY I?

ClassyLady · #10 10-14-2002, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CrimsonTide4
Questions:
Do we need a Rites of Passage for our youth today?
If so, what things should be taught to our children in this ceremony?
What would be the benefits of having a Rites of Passage?

Definitely!!

I did not participate in a formal Rites of Passage program but I was a debutante. We were taught ideas that I view as essential to adulthood. We had workshops on things like etiquette and how to carry ourselves as ladies, but we were also exposed to the arts, the college application process, self-exploration exercises, and leadership and teamwork training. There was no initiation at the end, but I know that I definitely benefitted from this experience.

Youths today definitely need this kind of exposure. They are going to get it from school. I know that a lot of the young ladies who were in that program with me would not be where there are today, working towards their degrees, if it had not of been for this type of inspiration.

D.COM · #11 10-19-2002, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ZTAMiami
Steeltrap:

Yes it is. I know that this was brought into the americas as a Spanish tradition.
I don't know how Mexican Americans do it but while growing up I attended/danced in Quinces for Cuban, Dominican and Puerto Rican girls.
Quinceanera parties are traditionaly preceded by a Catholic Mass

Interesting...My ethnicity is Dominican....I've heard of "quinceaneras" and I went to a HUGE one when I was 14, but I never had one. Instead, I went to Europe for 15 days: 5 countries & 10 cities with a French club in high school for my 15th birthday.

Even though it's "tradition" to some Hispanics, there are A LOT of Hispanic girls that do not have these ceremonies. I think it's because the family becomes "Americanized", lol.

Personally, I do not wish I had a "quinceanera" and am glad I went to Europe instead.

CrucialCrimson · #12 10-19-2002, 05:11 PM

There is an excellent book on this topic, I believe the title is "Orita" our Delta Academy modeled our rites of passage ceremony for our graduates last year and it was wonderful. There is another one based on a church's mentoring program for girls but I can't recall the title.

NinjaPoodle · #13 04-14-2004, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by D.COM
......Even though it's "tradition" to some Hispanics, there are A LOT of Hispanic girls that do not have these ceremonies. I think it's because the family becomes "Americanized", lol.

Based on what I've observed and learned, it's mainly a Catholic tradition. I've photographed different ones, Mexican and Puerto Rican and I've seen others. The ceremonies were ALWAYS a full Catholic mass and were all very beautiful.

These photographs are from JWThompson Visuals website but they are a wonderful example of the girl and the days events.

An American Quinceanera

Jill1228 · #14 04-14-2004, 04:50 PM

Co-sign!

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
Good points Love_Spell_6.

Going BACK to the BASICS

Saying AT ALL TIMES:

THANK YOU/ YOU'RE WELCOME

YES/NO MA'AM/SIR

PLEASE

GOOD MORNING/EVENING

I APOLOGIZE

MAY I?

reddawn18 · #15 04-14-2004, 04:51 PM

My grandmother and mother made sure we knew what was what when we were growing up. And having a rite of passage is a wonderful idea but you run up on some things:

1. I went to Quincerna and a Sweet sixteen. The parents spent as much money on those events as if it was a wedding! The idea behind it is wonderful but you will have people who take it to the extreme.

2. I hate the beat the dead horse, but because of how many of us came to be Americans, many don't know know their *exact* origins.

3. Then you will have those who feel this is another commerical thing. Take for instance Kwanzaa, it was a wonderful thing when it first came out. But this last year, commercialism got to it and now many feel that it maybe a joke.

I think the thing we all have to keep in mind that if we do a rite of passage of anything we have to know all the facts of our origins and do it in such a way that it is more personalized than commercialize.

*whew*