Be careful what you wish for

AlphaSigLana · #1 10-05-2002, 08:52 PM

As many of you know, I was feeling very disconnected with my house last year, so I decided to go on national exchange. AT first it was great. I loved going to the beach and I met a few great people. It is now Oct and I am unhappy. It is impossible to find jobs on campus. I finally got a job, but it only lasts from Oct to Nov. I will only be making enough to buy food, I won't be able to afford Christmas gifts. I joined the Criminal justice society, but they are very disorganized, panhellenic was very nice to let me come at this school, but with my job, I can't make meetings-- plus it'a little weird since they don't have my chapter. Every other org cost money and I have none. The other activities I want I can't find any info on so i don't think they exist anymore. I don't have a car so that is a big problem as well-- I can't work off campus. I have a group of 4 guy friends and 2 gf(one is my roomie). So whenever my roomie goes to hang out with our guy friends and I go I feel like a follower. also i have had my lap top stolen and my laundry basket. last week someone took the magnet i had with my pic on my door and put it on my neighbor's door--my pic was defaced. . My other friend is always hanging out with her. I'm used to gf's! I am so lonely. I feel like such a baby. My question is should i stick out my exchange for the year or go back home? I know that some girls have deactivated and moved out of the sorority house so i would have a place to live. but i still don't feel like I have friends in my house. My little sis has 2 adopted bigs now, so she never emails me, but she will call me when she isdown, but never to see what is new with me or how i am doing. i would call her and I did, but she was always busy or uninterested in talking, but i no longer have a cell phone, so i don't call her.

three2tango · #2 10-06-2002, 02:04 AM

This sounds soo horrible. I am very sorry for you. I think you should stay though. It is good for us to go through rough experiences while we are young because we are more able to cope with them.

I suggest getting lost in books. Summer Sisters by Judy Blume is a good place to start. No wait, The Stars Shine Down is even better it is by Sidney Sheldon.

Also keep a journal. Make a decision to write in it at least once a week.

Keep inspirational music handy for a quick pick me up. If you have access to a computer then download Ginny Owens If you want me to ..... the song is about Jesus' love for us. It is a really beautiful song.

Please keep your chin up!

Optimist Prime · #3 10-06-2002, 02:07 AM

Lana...

I'm sorry you are not making friends

You sound like a really sweet girl. I would be your friend

I say find new friends from class. If you eat her food then don't be anal. If not then stand up for yourself!!

justamom · #4 10-06-2002, 08:55 AM

I'm sorry you are not making friends You sound like a really sweet girl. I would be your friend I've noticed your posts are so sweet and encouraging of late. So nice of you!

Honey, may I suggest a book too. The Magic of Believing by Bristol. If you read and digest it, it can help you understand some concepts that influence different aspect of our lives. I am a firm believer in the ideas and approaches it presents.

You have an inCREDIBLE amount of bad luck and negative things come into your life. Sometimes our own way of thinking draws them to us and we don't even realize it. Stay where you are. three2tango-I think you should stay though. It is good for us to go through rough experiences while we are young because we are more able to cope with them.

You wrote-My little sis has 2 adopted bigs now, so she never emails me, but she will call me when she isdown, but never to see what is new with me or how i am doing. i would call her and I did, but she was always busy or uninterested in talking, but i no longer have a cell phone, so i don't call her. Your world is a thousand miles from hers. She is doing her thing as you are doing yours. Yet it's YOU she turns to when she needs to talk. That says a lot about her trust in you. Apartment buddies are great, but you DO need to expand your circle. Everyone needs their own friends as well as space. Living with someone can become uncomfortable if ALL your social activities are intertwined as well. Take heart and use this time to discover who YOU really are and learn how to bring out the best in the people you come in contact with. (Another good book-Bringing Out the Best in People.)

aephi alum · #5 10-06-2002, 09:57 AM

JAM - wise words as always.

Lana - hang in there. Get out there and socialize. Drop a line to some of your sisters just to say hi. And good luck finding a new job.

AlphaSigLana · #6 10-06-2002, 11:41 AM

I don't eat her food unless I buy something to go with it. She doesn't like a lot of stuff that i like anyway.
People at this school are older and many are married, so it is hard to meet people.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #7 10-06-2002, 12:30 PM

JAM -- golly, sometimes I wish you were MY mom.

Lana -- Maybe you should consider going home. I'm all about learning experiences -- but there's also something to be said for cutting your losses and fixing what you can.

I'll keep you in my prayers.
~ Jacquelyn.

Tom Earp · #8 10-06-2002, 01:09 PM

OK Lana, suck it up!

You are in a Sh#t Mode!

Get over your Problems!

You have to many Friends that you may you not know about, espc. on GC.

You know you can PM any of us at anytime!

PM your Phone # and I will be more than happy to talk one on one!

I also go through states of depression but I have people I can vent with!

My Fraternity Brothers, not all, of course. GCers, Alums and other Pals for what it is worth!

Hang In ASAL We All Love you and wish the very best for you!

Get It?

Please PM Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY!

There are many of use with you!

AlphaSigLana · #9 10-06-2002, 01:55 PM

I'm lonely that's all. I love Pensacola-- it's beautiful. I did meet a fellow Greek chatter-- at Panhellenic- it was awkward, but cool. I only saw her once. The classes are great. I am just homesick for my sorority. I miss retreat, Dad's day, sisterhoods, homecoming etc. One of my sisters emailed me and said that she loves ASA more now that she doesn't live in the house. We both lived in the house last year. she told me if I come back to not move back into the house bc it is more fun not living in the house bc you avoid all the drama and cat fights. I wasn't happy living in the sorority house bc of that stuff. i miss my nephew too. Plus i am really poor! I looked at I would have a better shot of getting a job in Greeley. More money= more fun!

Tom Earp · #10 10-06-2002, 05:20 PM

Sweety, it may not beeeee the same as living with a great group of Sisters, but YOU have a Great Bunch Here! to Help You Along for the moment!

Hell Dont worry, I find out I am a total jerk and asswhole on GC!

BUT, guess what?, I have many very good friends here and am damn proud to call them that that!

You are an ASA and a Member Of GC which is Very Important to Me and The Rest Of US!

DIG IT? Woe Baby Woe Baby Get Down and Get Funky!

U have my PM, Anytime, I am yours!

33girl · #11 10-06-2002, 06:12 PM

Lana -

Try and stick it out. There are a lot of people who wanted to do what you are doing, and YOU were chosen instead of them. You are special!! So make the most of it!

If you don't have a car, try to get used to mass transit - I swear it's not that horrible. Take a day or so just to get used to the town by yourself - you won't feel at home till you do.

Everyone sometime in their life is going to have to learn to do things on their own. You are luckier than you know to get to do it at this age. Some women go from their parents' house, to their sorority house, to their husband's house, and are never alone. Then they find themselves 40, divorced and completely clueless as to how to function. If you learn how to be with yourself and not hate it, it does a lot for you in terms of not putting up with crappy friendships or relationships. You have you - and you are great - so why would you deal with crap just to not be alone?

Give nationals a call and see if they can put you in touch with any alums in the area. The nearest alum chapter is in Tampa Bay but there HAVE to be some ASA's in the northern part.

Take care sis

. You can do this - trust me!!

James · #12 10-06-2002, 06:36 PM

Ok time to get excited baby.

I have no idea what kind of person you are like. You seem sweet in your posts although you do complain a lot.

That could be a girl-vent thing though. Why they girl-vent is beyond me but whatever . . . LOL

Ok here is your unique opportunity to develop two new skills.

One is superior networking . . . which just means meeting more people.

The other is learning not to make the best of things, but to learn how to make things better!

PEople that learn to like the hand they are dealt with are just boring.

PEople that learn how to get more or new cards, or even how to change the game, they are worth knowing.

Ok ready now?

James · #13 10-06-2002, 06:44 PM

Ok someone up above mentioned keeping a journal . . .

Make it a success journal.

Tip one: smile a lot and make eye contact.

Cheeful people attract others. Unhappy people, repel people, I hate them personally and hope they die. Fricking annoying.

Tip 2: Keep Track!!!!

In your journal write down that you will make eye contact and smile at least 10 new people daily.

And you will talk to at least 3 new people daily, if only a wide eyed smile and a hi how are you.

People are your mission!

If you don't already love and adore people . . fake it until you do.

Tip 3: Thens set up some social goals . . . You will go places by yourself or with others that are not your roomies friends that other people hang out at.

Tip 4: Wear your Damn letters a lot! ITs an awesome conversation piece!!!!

Tip 5: Have at least 5 different interesting conversation pieces to talk about . . . make them up if you have to.

Author's note: Good dialougue is key. People with bad dialouge are fricking tedious.

I have actually had some friends say: I met this person or I am friends with this person but they never say anything clever or interesting *puke*.

Well that is enough for now.

three2tango · #14 10-06-2002, 07:25 PM

James said "If you don't all ready love and adore people... fake it untill you do."

Ha, Ha that is funny stuff. I want that on a t-shirt.

AlphaSigLana · #15 10-06-2002, 07:58 PM

James-- not many sororities down here seem to wear their letters. Plus I gave all my letters away to my little sisters. I had/have 2 sorority little sisters.
I do keep a journal.
I would like to think I have good dialogue considering the fact that I was public relations chair for my house, worked with victims of sexual assualt and am a PR/Cj major. I do have friends here.