my new sorority hazes

atsgirl · #1 09-25-2002, 02:08 PM

You know, I feel stupid, I should have known... after all our "Rush" was held at a fraternity party with alcohol flowing freely... I have friends that are in national sororities at other schools (I am pledging a local) that have told me that isn't supposed to happen.

I really like (most of) the girls, but after our pledge induction the other night I don't want to go through anything like that anymore. We were forced to drink as a punishment for not completing a task (well, I wasn't because I had to drive, but all the other girls were) and made to do humiliating things in public. I know it's no big horror story, but it made me really upset.

I was told when I decided to pledge that there would be no hazing, and I believed it. I get along well with the pledge chair, and she's actually the one that talked some of the other girls out of making me drink.

So here's what it comes down to: my school is very small and only has two sororities...the local I'm pledging and an NPC sorority. Therefore, both of the rushes were held seperately, and at the same times. I (obviously) went to the one for the local, because I met them first and got along with the pledge chair. I still want to join a sorority, but I don't know if because I have started pledging the local, if I can join the national. Or if I'll have to wait until next year. I haven't de-pledged the local yet either... I don't know what to say to them, because I don't want to hurt the feelings of the girls I like. Part of me wants to stick it out and change things from the inside. I don't know what to do.

chideltjen · #2 09-25-2002, 02:21 PM

If you are feeling really uncomfortable with this house, and you don't like the "pledge activities" going on, leave asap. No one should have to submit to that. However, if you enjoy some of the other girls company and might wanna stick it out, bring it to the house's attention and say: Hey I don't feel comfortable doing this. If the house analyzes their program and doesn't make you drink anymore, things might get a lil better. However, if you say something and no action is taken, don't stick around to see what the rest of the semester holds. Ask your fellow new members. Ask what they think about the new member program.

My house had a really bad semester one semester and it took that one semester for us to completely change the way our new member program worked. Hopefully if your house gets a wake up call, they will change a bit.

You can also bring up the issue to your Greek advisor.

As for joining a national after quitting a local... it's possible. You may have to wait til the next recruitment period tho. I don't know how your school works with recruitment. It may be in bad taste (or even against the rules) to quit the local now and COB the national. But it's up to you and again... i don't know where you go to school.

Do what is right for you. If you dont feel comfortable and you do what you can to try and figure out why your sisters are doing this to you, I wouldn't stick around.
Hope that helps.

AOX81 · #3 09-25-2002, 02:24 PM

If you forced to do anything that you would not normally do that is considered hazing! Forced consumption of alcohol and public humiliation is clearly hazing! Get out now unless you feel you can help change the way that your organization operates. Groups like this is what gives Greek Life a bad reputation!!

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #4 09-25-2002, 02:24 PM

Drop now. For organizations that haze, it gets worse the farther along in your pledge period you progress.

As long as you don't get initiated, you can rush with another organization.

I'm crossing my fingers for you. Greek life can be wonderful -- if you find where you fit. And somewhere that abuses you is NOT where you fit.

KappaKittyCat · #5 09-25-2002, 02:44 PM

Get out of there now! Report them to the Greek advisor, too. They should NOT be able to do this. Ask the Greek advisor about pledging the national when you go see him/her.

Good luck to you.

atsgirl · #6 09-25-2002, 02:58 PM

Thanks for your advice everybody. Unfortunately we don't have a greek advisor, greek life office, or anything of the sort, we're just sort of hanging in the air.

I'm just really torn - on one hand, I don't want to hurt any of the girls' feelings, and I know if I can stick it out, I could do a lot to change things from inside and make us a better organization.

On the other hand, I don't want to deal with anything more like this. And I'm afraid if I pledge the national, it will just be the same thing, and then I'll have alienated myself. I want to stay friends with most of the girls... there are a few i really don't like though, and one of them happens to be the president

We have a pledge activity tomorrow night, so I think maybe i'll try to talk to our pledge chair before then and tell her how I feel.

jess_pom · #7 09-25-2002, 03:01 PM

I suggest you quit now and turn them in for hazing. Even if there is no hazing policy for your org., there are probably state laws prohibiting hazing.

Also, it is my belief that if you are hazed, and you turn them in for hazing, you will automatically be released from that organization and will be free to join another when you decide you are ready. Someone feel free to (gently) correct me if I'm wrong.

Opie25 · #8 09-25-2002, 03:36 PM

ATSGirl:

As a greek and a current advisor I would tell you to drop as soon as you can, but do it respectfully. You don't want to intensify any type of harrasment or attitude that they may have towards you....especially with such a small school environment.

Since you don't have a greek life office, I'm assuming that they don't have a formalized recruitment process, so you would be able to join the NPC sorority any time you would like, if they have openings...furthermore...technically since the other group isn't an NPC you could belong to both.....unless they have some local rules governing such things.

I would definately talk to your pledge chair and tell her about the things that have made you uncomfortable, and reiterate that you were told there would be no hazing...so they broke their word (and a promise to you)...and you don't need to belong to a group who does that....

Good luck!

thanks for listening

o.p.i.e.

FuzzieAlum · #9 09-25-2002, 03:50 PM

Listen to Opie. He's a smart guy.

Do you know any new members in the other sorority on campus? You may want to have a frank talk with one of them if you do to find out if they haze as well. You could just ask outright, but if you say, "I hate hazing, do you haze?" they could just say what you want to hear. You can even be a little evasive yourself - just talk about your pledge period and the hazing like you think it is normal and see how they react - "Oh yeah! This one time we did ---" or "Ugh, you had to do what?"

Opie25 · #10 09-25-2002, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FuzzieAlum
Listen to Opie. He's a smart guy.

Do you know any new members in the other sorority on campus? You may want to have a frank talk with one of them if you do to find out if they haze as well. You could just ask outright, but if you say, "I hate hazing, do you haze?" they could just say what you want to hear. You can even be a little evasive yourself - just talk about your pledge period and the hazing like you think it is normal and see how they react - "Oh yeah! This one time we did ---" or "Ugh, you had to do what?"

Ah...shucks *blush* Thanks! I take that as a great compliment coming from you FuzzieAlum!

maggieaxid · #11 09-25-2002, 04:19 PM

My heart goes out to you. When i was a new member, there was a girl on my hall that was severly hazed by a local sorority and thats why she transferred to my school and joined an NPC group. She had said that it effected everything she did from her school work to trying to sleep at night. She felt terrible about herself and ended up dropping out of school.
Please don't allow yourself to get that sucked in. If you are uncomfortable, i think you should do what you think is best for you. You should enjoy being and seeing your sisters, not afraid of them- EVER! There are better places out there for you. I think you should follow your heart.

dzrose93 · #12 09-25-2002, 04:23 PM

GET OUT NOW

I agree with what everyone else has said so far... It sounds like this organization is just asking for a hazing-related accident. If this is how they start out with their pledges, it will probably only get worse as you get further along in your pledgeship. I personally wouldn't want to stick around to find out.

Your pledge chair was able to prevent the other girls from trying to make you drink last time -- but she may not always be around to protect you. And why should you need protection from girls you want to call your sisters???

Please believe me when I say that not all sororities are like the one you've described. I think you'll be better off joining an organization that values you instead of humiliates you, and leads by example, not by bullying.

Good luck and please keep us updated.

KillarneyRose · #13 09-25-2002, 04:32 PM

LEAVE NOW

The new member period is not supposed to be all about surviving to the next day.

Tom Earp · #14 09-25-2002, 04:59 PM

Just to Add to all of the above!

If Your are not comfortable in the situation, GET OUT ASAP!

If you dont, then it is your fault for putting up with it and will still go on!

You will catch a lot of heat but you will know yourself It Aint Right!
It is wrong!

See some other sites about 2 women dieing. Was it Hazing or not? Well, they are both still Dead!

We as Greeks Do not want that to happen, but it does becaus of some inane reason to Haze!

BS, I want every New Associate to become my Brother! That is how we grow!

We stress Grades! Get the Grades or do not get Initiated! In A Nut Shell!

Iris · #15 09-25-2002, 05:22 PM

Have you seen that drug commercial on TV???

"Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now...
Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go..."

Yep.....get out now. Since there's no Greek Advisor, bring it to the attention of your Student Activities office or even Dean of Student's office.

No one should be hazed; no one should CHOOSE to allow themselves to be hazed.

Iris