Girl in my letters - New situation!

KerriMarie · #1 06-25-2002, 01:10 AM

There is this girl that works with me that apparantly pledged my sorority in the fall and didn't end up being initiated. (I was studying abroad in London and am not aware of all the details...) Well, she obtained a few Kappa shirts during her pledge period and wears them to work. I'm not totally OK with her doing this, and to make it even worse, she is rude to people (including me) while wearing MY letters! I really hate that she behaves this way while representing a sorority that she isn't even a part of. Is there anything I can do? Should I ask Chapter Council to intervene?

And I don't even understand why she still wears the shirts! She's NOT a Kappa!!! Arg! I guess they're just a shirt to throw on to go to work, but it really frustrates me that she does this. It's kind of a moot point at the moment, as I'm home for the summer and couldn't do anything anyways... but when I get back in the fall, is it appropriate for me to ask her to not wear my letters??

Help!!

MoonStar17 · #2 06-25-2002, 01:53 AM

Maybe its just me...but if I were you id just confront her...

casually ask her...hey are you planning on coming back or rushing again cause you have been wearing letter...
if she seems offended BS your way out of it and be like oh cause it would be cool to see you out there again..bla bla bla..say some older sisters mentioned her...or if she rushed when you werent around ask her what happened..why she left..kinda get the convo going...

if that fails..be like hey you know i love that shirt...do you think i can buy it from you since i dont have many shirts of my own, ( we all know anyone in an org. for longer than a semester has about enough shirts to clothe an entire chapter...BUT she doesnt have to know that

anyways that is what i would do... communication is the key

AOX81 · #3 06-25-2002, 08:47 AM

If we have any girls who depledge we ask for their shirts back. If they paid for them then we reimburse them. We do not want anyone other than sisters and pledges wearing our shirts.

RockChalk · #4 06-25-2002, 09:50 AM

MoonStar has a good idea. After all you, were in London when all the drama happened. It could be that she decided to switch schools and will get initiated there. Get the scoop before going medieval.

33girl · #5 06-25-2002, 09:51 AM

If I was in your situation I would have ripped those puppies right off her, so congrats for showing restraint.

Try asking if she is going to go through pledging again and initiate(since she is still bound to Kappa for the next semester). If her response is something along the lines of "are you bleeping nuts?" I would definitely let your exec board know about it.

FHwku · #6 06-25-2002, 09:58 AM

Every time you see her in your letters, accidentally bump into her with a cup of koolaid.

Kevin · #7 06-25-2002, 10:02 AM

When we depledge someone or they are expelled we buy their badge, letters and other paraphenalia back at a reasonable price.

Or at least we try to...

Perhaps if you made an offer to buy those shirts from her... She may understand if you tell her how important it is to you. Hope they're in your size

ZTAngel · #8 06-25-2002, 10:25 AM

We've been through a situation like yours.

There was a girl in my pledge class who was never initiated. After she depledged, she would still wear Zeta letters and tell the people in her classes that she was a Zeta.
A little bit later, she became employed at a local strip joint. So, not only would she tell people that she was a Zeta but she would tell them where she worked too.

I think some of my sisters spoke to her about the little "problem" and she stopped wearing the letters....well, at least when she knew other Zetas were in her classes.

dzrose93 · #9 06-25-2002, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by FHwku
Every time you see her in your letters, accidentally bump into her with a cup of koolaid.

LOL!!!!!!

Go for the red kind, it stains the best!

LeslieAGD · #10 06-25-2002, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dzrose93
Go for the red kind, it stains the best!

Grape is probably a good choice too!

On the serious side, as many suggested, I would play the "I was out of town" card and talk her up about it. If she is not re-pledging, you might want to try to buy it off her or at least explain why it makes you uncomfortable to see her in your letters.

carnation · #11 06-25-2002, 12:12 PM

I posted once about some Mexican guys wearing AKA shirts to ESL class at school and how we had to hide the men from this one wonderful, elderly AKA who teaches there because we knew she'd freak. Last week, several of us profs (including her) were driving down the main drag and there stood a bunch of (probably) Guatemalan guys in AKA shirts! This lady was like, "Rarrarrarrrar!Lemme at 'em!" and we had to physically restrain her from leaping out of the car!

We agreed to drive back to the men and I would speak with them, since she doesn't speak Spanish. They, like the first group a few years ago, had gotten theirs at some thrift shop in metro Atlanta. The AKA wanted to get those shirts off them right there but they refused to part with their "peenk shorts". I finally asked them if they could please just wear them at home since people in public would laugh because they knew it was a ladies' club. Maybe that worked...they looked a little shocked at that...

CutiePie2000 · #12 06-25-2002, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KerriMarie
There is this girl that works with me that apparantly pledged my sorority in the fall and didn't end up being initiated. (I was studying abroad in London and am not aware of all the details...) Well, she obtained a few Kappa shirts during her pledge period and wears them to work. I'm not totally OK with her doing this, and to make it even worse, she is rude to people (including me) while wearing MY letters! I really hate that she behaves this way while representing a sorority that she isn't even a part of. Is there anything I can do? Should I ask Chapter Council to intervene?
Help!!

I wanted to ask, why was she not initiated? Did she depledge or was she asked to leave the chapter? If you discover that she left under negative'ish terms, I would request to her that she NOT wear the Kappa shirts.

On the other hand, did she have to leave school (family situation) or maybe she was not initiated due to marks? In that case, we all have to remember that Kappa saw something in her to extend her a bid in the first place. Why not set the wheels in motion to get her properly initiated instead of "bumping into her with Kool-Aid"?

I would talk to her, find out more about her circumstances and whether she is still interested in Kappa. If she is, then I would do the sisterly thing and help her to re-activate her affiliation. If she is wearing the shirts, presumably she wants people to think she is a Kappa, so I would think that to mean that she still has an interest in being initiated into full-fledged membership. (If she didn't, I would imagine she would use those t-shirts to wash her car with)

If you are done school, I know that Kappa will initiate alumnae women, providing that they meet certain criteria.

I hope that this helps. It seemed like everyone was so eager to get after this girl that I was compelled to offer a dissenting opinion.

Blaire · #13 06-25-2002, 02:06 PM

The same thing happened to us last semester! I'm not sure if Kappa Kappa Gamma has the same policy as Delta Zeta, but we had to have National HQ's permission to de-pledge her. So, they had to investigate and everything...it wasn't a "we don't like her anymore so we're going to kick her out" kind of decision. And, as far as "we saw something in her to extend her a bid", she fooled us all, let me tell you! She is a seriously disturbed young lady...and I am glad she is no longer a DZ!

I hope everything works out for you! Spill that kool-aid girl!

Greek love,
Blaire

So proud to be a DELTA ZEE!

dzrose93 · #14 06-25-2002, 02:39 PM

I agree with Blaire -- rushees can definitely fool chapters, and it sometimes takes a while to figure out that a new member isn't everything that you thought she was. Just as some good girls fall through the cracks during Rush, some not-so-good girls somehow creep in. And figuring out how to handle the problems they create is never easy or fun. I feel for any chapter that has had to deal with that type of scenario.

APhiDarling · #15 07-08-2002, 12:25 AM

We had a similar situation in my house. A girl depledged, but her roommate had also pledged Alpha Phi. Her roommate said that the girl who depledged still wore the backpack, the shirts, kept all the stuff she was given by her Big Sis, and etc. She hadn't yet been initiated when she depledged (Thank Goodness) but was still getting stuff from the house. Anyway, she wore her backpack all around with our letters, as well as t-shirts. A couple of us mentioned it to each other, but never really did anything, as the topic just sort of got dropped. But reading the post above, I think that if we see this girl wearing stuff around we'll approach her about it. One doesn't have any right to present themselves as being a part of a sisterhood, if they aren't contributing to it. Furthermore, we are a very reputable house, and the girl who was her roommate said she turned out to be kind of weird. (BTW, also proving the above point that sometimes, not often, but every once in a while girls can completely change after they've been given a bid, no matter what house they pledge) But anyway, we don't want any girl pretending to be a Popular Phi if she doesn't respect the sisterhood and good standing our house has. We'll definitely appraoch her kindly about the situation, if she continues to wear letters.