Greek 4 Four Years vs. Greek 4 Life

#1 06-05-2002, 04:48 PM

I was talking to a sister when I was visiting my chapter one day and she was telling my how she was going to deactivate the coming school year, because she just didnt think she was the "sorority girl" type anymore and all this stuff was going on in the chpater that she didn't care for (i.e cliques and a little immaturity going on and beleive me its lil stuff that every chapter deals with). She said it isnt what she thought sisterhood was suppose to be. So me not wanting to get into the whole "why bail when you can help to change stuff" debate, I said well, since its going to be your senior year next year, why not just try to stick it out or try to go alum? She asked me what the differences between going alum and deactiavting would really be and I tried telling her that if she went alum she could still do some stuff when she graduated from college and either moved to another city or back home. Then she looked at me and asked me something like, "Why would I do that? The whole sorority thing was only going to be something I did in college. I never plan on doing anything with it afterwards."
*SMACK*
When she said that, thats what I thought someone had did to me. I know everyone has a right to there opinions and stuff, but for some reason that comment pissed me off. But I just sat there and nodded and we faded off the subject.
I guess I got peeved because I was thinking, "Hello, didnt we both here the same thing about this being a lifetime committment or something to that extent, and when you become a member, you will always be one until the day you die unless you deactivate?" Like I said, I know its not going to be the same for everyone, and some will take it seriously and/or will be committed and others wont.
But it got me to thinking...
1) Is there a such thing as Greeks 4 Four Years and Greeks 4 Life?
2) Has anyone else had a conversation like the previously mentioned whether ist someone in their own house or a different one?
3) Can you decifer between those who are 4 years and those for life? (like when my non-greek friends and one of their GDI (I call anti-greeks those) boyfriends start asking questions and crap and I an example of one of our mutual friends who is in XYZ sorority and myself. Even though she hangs out with her sisters all the time after we all graduated from college. I wouldn't consider her a Lifetimer b/c of things I know.
And....
4) Would you consider yourself a 4 year or Lifetimer and by what standards? I know most of us would consider ourselves lifetimers, but Ill admitt probably at an early point when I was just getting really into it (even during new member/pledge period) I probably was a 4 year.

I know we've touch on this subject before a little in cretain threads, but I dont think we've ever fully discussed it (if we have sorry I was too lazy to do a search, sue me

). Let's be honest and please no hating on anyone

*sidenote*
The sister (who is one of my faves) decided not to deactivate after we held a fireside for our I-day and everything got emotional

LexiKD · #2 06-05-2002, 05:05 PM

Although it would be nice to think we are all in it for life, that isn't the reality.

1. Yes some members just think of it as a college experience
2. I am an alumane association(AA) pres and we have that talk once a month when we all get together.
3. I think members that don't take the membership responsibilty seriously are the usual 4 year members. But that can change!
4. I think we all know I'm a lifer AKA KD Dork! Why I say that...well, right after graduation I went to work and helped recharter our AA, I sit on the House Corp(HC) for my chapter and have been to every Convention/National Leadership Conference since I was a member.

When I became a KD, I was a Senior and never thought about this fun ending. It was natural for me to stay in the middle of things, that's why I joined the HC and AA. KD isn't all I do, but it is a main interest of mine since I would love the honor of becoming a national officer one day!

I have found that many 4 year members come back after their lives get a little less crazy. After they marry and have kids or finally settle down. It depends on where you are in your life. If I didn't work with my family, I wouldn't have the time that I do know to do so much.

I don't care how much our members do as long as they do someting. Join an AA, at least go to a meeting a couple times a year and keep up with the changes...it's a good thing for you and the group.

When I was part of the local that began our KD chapter, this wasn't a concern. Yes I would always would have come back to help and such, but that was about all that would have been available...now my oppurtunities are endless and I would love to be in the action for life!

An organization needs alum support and it really should be stressed that it is important to stay current. If we were to value our alum more that point may be more evident in our chapters...I'm not saying that no one does, just saying that this board has many alum that are unhappy with the situation...I understand that point of view as well.

LeslieAGD · #3 06-05-2002, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by UMgirl
1) Is there a such thing as Greeks 4 Four Years and Greeks 4 Life?
2) Has anyone else had a conversation like the previously mentioned whether ist someone in their own house or a different one?
3) Can you decifer between those who are 4 years and those for life? (like when my non-greek friends and one of their GDI (I call anti-greeks those) boyfriends start asking questions and crap and I an example of one of our mutual friends who is in XYZ sorority and myself. Even though she hangs out with her sisters all the time after we all graduated from college. I wouldn't consider her a Lifetimer b/c of things I know.
And....
4) Would you consider yourself a 4 year or Lifetimer and by what standards? I know most of us would consider ourselves lifetimers, but Ill admitt probably at an early point when I was just getting really into it (even during new member/pledge period) I probably was a 4 year.

1) Yes
2) Yes...but you just have to remind them that they only get out what they put in
3) Sometimes you can tell the difference, sometimes people surprise you
4) I'm a lifer.

As an active, I went out of my way to find out information about my organization and learn as much of our history as possible. I visited other chapters and got to know AGDs from all over...and this was pre-GC. Now, as a new alum, I'm already making strides to stay in contact with my chapter and help our neighboring chapter as well.

FuzzieAlum · #4 06-05-2002, 06:37 PM

1) Yes - I know lots of women (like through work) who are simply no longer involved in their sorority, and given their age, it isn't likely to change.
2) Similar - Mostly it's women who don't have an interest in giving back as an alum. They joined for the collegiate experience only. Or they're going through a bad period and aren't feeling happy about their Greek choice.
3) Sometimes - There are a lot of women who lose touch upon graduation (they need a breather) but return to the fold for a few years. And then there are a few who move where there is no chapter or alum association (say, they join the Peace Corps) and just lose touch unintentionally. Then there are those women who after doing nothing for years unexpectedly bequeath a scholarship or something. But I don't think you can tell much until someone has been a sister for a few years. Some of the most enthusiastic new members get tired of it by the time they're a junior!
4) I'm a lifetimer. I know I've gotten more out of AXD then I've given back to it yet.

AngelPhiSig · #5 06-05-2002, 06:46 PM

Ive had some personal problems within my orgs and Ive stuck it out... And granted I know the orgs have changed since I got in- I am still trying to better it after 4 years. No matter how bad things get I will stick with it because I made the commitment!

Luvnstuff
Alison

AOIIalum · #6 06-05-2002, 08:46 PM

1. Think about it...maybe you'll meet someone at work or socially and you're wearing some of your GLO jewelry. Inevitably, someone will say something like, "Oh, you're an ABC? I used to be an XYZ." Luckily, there are those who say, decades after their initiation, "I am an XYZ!" Hopefully, more greek organizations will emphasize that membership is for a *lifetime*, starting with New Member Education and continuing through the collegiate and alumnae years. Alumnae support is crucial for the continued growth and success of all of our chapters. I wonder, when we get the sad news that any chapter has closed, how that particular group's alumnae involvement has been? Are there strong alumnae who have supported the chapter but the general campus atmosphere just not support the group? Or has there been declining alumnae involvement for whatever reasons?

2. I've never had such a conversation, but I probably wouldn't be the person someone would say "Why would I want to be in the sorority after college?" to. I'll be celebrating the 19th anniversary of my Formal Pledging this September. I've remained involved with AOII since I went alum. I wear my jewelry all the time (I have an AOII signet ring which I wear almost always and also regularly wear my lavalier.) I would assume that most of us who are alumnae members of our GLOs on GC could say the same kinds of things!

3. I've been surprised because those I would expect to be lifers don't appear to be and those who weren't all that involved as a collegiate are amazing lifers. Of course, I don't know what some people do behind the scenes, I'm sure many of my sisters quietly show support to our Fraternity, others can support financially, others are actively involved participants. Unfortunately, way too many just don't do anything with AOII.

4. Honestly? I am a lifer but I'm not sure if anyone would have thought that of me 18-19 years ago! My grades were horrific and add into that lousy personal financial management negatively impacted my collegiate experience, but luckily for me a lot of that was left in the past. Even so, I had a great collegiate experience and even better experience so far as an alumna. Think about it, we're collegiate members of our GLOs for 3-5 years, give or take. We're alumnae members of our GLOs for decades and decades...we're members for a lifetime.

Christin

DeltaSigStan · #7 06-05-2002, 10:20 PM

Well, even if our chapter is still in the same state when I graduate, this Delta Sig will be a prud alum and maybe be on the ACB. I'm proud to be a Greek, I believe it sets me apart from other people because I share a brotherhood and an experience that stupid randoms will never understand.

Thrillhouse · #8 06-05-2002, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaSigStan
I share a brotherhood and an experience that stupid randoms will never understand.

Thats a nice way of putting it

DeltaSigStan · #9 06-05-2002, 10:46 PM

Sorry to sound kinda blunt....but when you keep being told you "buy your friends", and that "theyre just your drinking buddies", you kinda feel like theyre just ignorant people who, again, don't understand what being a greek is about.

pbear19 · #10 06-05-2002, 11:29 PM

I understand that not everyone sees their greek organization as a lifetime committment, but it is so disheartening to me to see women and men who could contribute after college that don't want to. I would love nothing more than to be able to be a part of something like that! Those of you in national organizations have such an amazing opportunity to do more, that someone like me just may never have.

I joined a local service sorority in college that is not at all alum friendly. There has never been a member who graduated and decided to permanently reside in the town where the school is. I stayed there for nine months after graduation and that was unprecedented. Now I live 450 miles away, and it's like I don't exist anymore to them. I am still practically oozing enthusiasm for my sorority, I have letters everywhere, from my car to my mousepad at work, and it hurts so much that I can't participate more!! So when I see people who take for granted the fact that they are part of a national organization and they choose not be involved at all after college it truly saddens me.

I'm not sure if what I wanted to say there came across, and I know I didn't answer the questions that were the topic. But I just want people to realize what a special opportunity they have when they join a national organization! I still plan on doing as much as I can for my sorority, but it's a completely different ball game when you are an alumna of a local like mine. Not that I love my sorority any less, I just wish there was a way that I could be involved on a daily basis, rather than having to take vacation time to go to a function, or be relegated to financial help only.

ROWDYsister · #11 06-06-2002, 02:07 AM

1) Greeks 4 Life and Greeks for 4 Years?
Definitely.
2) Had the conversation?
Not yet.
3) Decipher?
That's like trying to guess what everyone will be like at the 20 year high school reunion. You never really know til it happens.
4) Consider myself a lifetimer?
I go to school in a college town where I can bet you no one is going to live in after college, like Pbear19. If I move back to Miami after college I don't think there's even a Pi Phi chapter at UM or FIU to be involved with, and if I move to New York I don't know what's going to happen. But even if I'm not active with a particular chapter or do not become a member of AAC, I know I'll still be tight with my sisters (not all, but what do you expect.) I guess I'll be a lifetimer in that respect because the sisterhood will never fade...and I'm going to encourage people to go Greek...and I'll try to put out there a more positive Greek image in the media...and I'm planning to have my bridesmaid party consist of my sisters (someday, way into the future).

navane · #12 06-06-2002, 02:27 AM

Do you know what I find sad about that situation? There are ladies who think that being in a sorority is just for a couple years and that's it. Some even say that they can't wait until they graduate so that they "don't have to bother with it" anymore.

Meanwhile, people like me, who are trying very hard to get involved and become alumnae initiates, are getting nowhere. If she wants out so bad, I'll gladly take the place of your disintrested sister and take on her lifetime committment.

......Kelly

aephi alum · #13 06-06-2002, 09:43 AM

1. There is absolutely such a thing as greeks for 4 years vs. greeks for life. I know so many people who have just dropped off the face of the planet after graduation as far as their GLO's are concerned.

2. Never had the conversation per se, but I had a pretty good idea which of my sisters would continue to be involved on the alum level and which wouldn't.

3. Sometimes you can tell, sometimes you get surprised.

4. To cut a long story short... I came to it by a circuitous route, but I'm a lifer.

RockChalk · #14 06-06-2002, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaSigStan
Sorry to sound kinda blunt....but when you keep being told you "buy your friends", and that "theyre just your drinking buddies", you kinda feel like theyre just ignorant people who, again, don't understand what being a greek is about.

Why would they even bother trying to understand when you're so rude?

DeltaSigStan · #15 06-06-2002, 12:03 PM

Just cause I said "stupid"? Jesus sorry......I wouldn't consider that being rude when they're the ones saying that stuff first....it's not like I go around baiting people to say stuff like that. All I ever talk about is the positive aspects of being in a frat. I get the generalizations first. So back off ok, I don't call them that all the time, I just said it now. If people don't want to rush I'm not going to force them to.