A good woman is hard to find

Aspire · #1 05-26-2002, 04:48 PM

I have been looking for a good woman for along time

now and it seems that they are definitely out number by the whores and hoochies I mean- women are quick to say that men are dogs but I've experienced quite a few female versions of the" men are dogs "statement if you get my drift

RedefinedDiva · #2 05-26-2002, 10:21 PM

I HAD to respond to your post! You are singing the same song that (most) women have been singing since the beginning of time! However, I feel that good men and women are all over the place. You just have to know how to look and where to look. The problem is that most people don't know what to look for.

(Most) men want women to look like supermodels and be a dime from the jump. Problem is, most women do not fit the supermodel mold. And some of the ones that do fall into that "whore/hoochie/golddigger" catergory that men complain about. Then, the sad part is that the men want the women to be top of the line while they look like the bottom of the barrel! On the flip side, (most) women want the knight in shining armor type brother. He has to be tall, handsome, rich, educated, etc. etc. The problem with that is some of these women do not have anything to bring to the table.

We all have to learn to look under all the superficial things and look for what is on the inside. I know that I am not a dime (yet!

), but I'm not Garbage Pal Kid. I don't look for the brother that every woman is after because I know how to look at that is on the inside. I don't mind geting with the brother who doesn't have it all as long as I know that he has goals and is working towards them. Looks aren't a big issue. You can always work on that. Just show that you are confident about what you want and don't settle for anything else. I KNOW that I am a good woman and there are plenty more out there. Stop looking with just your eyes....

thesweetestone · #3 05-27-2002, 06:39 PM

Well said sista!

delph998 · #4 05-29-2002, 04:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedefinedDiva
I HAD to respond to your post! You are singing the same song that (most) women have been singing since the beginning of time! However, I feel that good men and women are all over the place. You just have to know how to look and where to look. The problem is that most people don't know what to look for.

(Most) men want women to look like supermodels and be a dime from the jump. Problem is, most women do not fit the supermodel mold. And some of the ones that do fall into that "whore/hoochie/golddigger" catergory that men complain about. Then, the sad part is that the men want the women to be top of the line while they look like the bottom of the barrel! On the flip side, (most) women want the knight in shining armor type brother. He has to be tall, handsome, rich, educated, etc. etc. The problem with that is some of these women do not have anything to bring to the table.

We all have to learn to look under all the superficial things and look for what is on the inside. I know that I am not a dime (yet!), but I'm not Garbage Pal Kid. I don't look for the brother that every woman is after because I know how to look at that is on the inside. I don't mind geting with the brother who doesn't have it all as long as I know that he has goals and is working towards them. Looks aren't a big issue. You can always work on that. Just show that you are confident about what you want and don't settle for anything else. I KNOW that I am a good woman and there are plenty more out there. Stop looking with just your eyes....

I definitely agree with you! There are some good women out there.

Aspire · #5 06-03-2002, 03:44 AM

Point well taken however, the first thing that generally attracts people are the visual- granted it is noted that women are more apt to look past that than men but hey!!!!!!

For my particular case it's not even about the visual- I mean pretty faces are all over the place,but oh when they open their mouth -you can feel like one of my boys says" just be quiet and let me look at you" mainly becaus alot of women are dense- they say one thing and then you see them dating something else- it's like women are construction works just looking for some dude they can stamp their label on and say look at what I made him

,but when they find someone who seems to be up front, honest, and just an all around good guy

he's more detesting than the beat on you cheat on you, ride another female in your car type nigga

and no matter how you argue it- i have one thing to say check out the pains that you and your girlfriend are going through while some good guy is chilling alone

Aspire · #6 06-03-2002, 03:53 AM

what do you classify as a good woman? my list is as follows:

1. Saved
2. Attractive
3. Has a job
4. Has some type of self esteem
5. can hold a conversation
6 brings something to the table,other than her good looks

7.Can be classy in the board room,chill at the picnic, and freaky when necessary.

8. CAN COOK NOT MICROWAVE,BUT CAN COOK
9. Knows how to tell their girlfriends to MIND THEIR DAMN BUSINESS

10. CAN COOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tammy- · #7 06-03-2002, 10:03 AM

I feel everyone is looking for someone exceptional.........

If you want a good person-you have to be a good person!
If you want someone with money- You need to have some also!

ETC..........

I feel if everyone works on improving themselves, when you meet Mr. or Ms. Right - You will be ready! God is on his on time so just be patient and love will meet you head up...........

I have experienced God's relationship power!

RedefinedDiva · #8 06-03-2002, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tammy-
I feel if everyone works on improving themselves, when you meet Mr. or Ms. Right - You will be ready! God is on his on time so just be patient and love will meet you head up...........

Tammy, I have to agree with you. All good things will come in time.

However, I have to respond to Aspire. You are putting the burden of proof on the shoulders of women. That is not fair at all. What is it that you have to offer? Are you as handsome as some women expect men to be? Are you big fine like Morris Chestnut? Can you surprise me with trips to Paris on a whim? Can you hold an intellectual conversation about the state of affairs in our community? (These are all rhetorical questions by the way!

) The point is, you get what you have to offer sometimes. You can't expect to attract dimes if you are only three pennies. Sometimes when we are unhappy with what we get, we have to evaluate ourselves. Not saying that you should expect anything but the best for yourself, but we just have to do a little "soul searching." Maybe you have to tighten up your "game," approach, conversation, etc. Also change your mindset. In your post, you stated that "a lot" of women are dense. That's not a fair statement. SOME women are dense, as are men. If you keep in mind that women are dense, gold diggers, etc., that is all you are going to meet. Give it a try.

P.S. If you can't MATCH or EXCEED the qualities that you look for in a good woman, how can you expect to be labeled as a "good man?" Think about it.

tammy- · #9 06-03-2002, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedefinedDiva

Tammy, I have to agree with you. All good things will come in time.

However, I have to respond to Aspire. You are putting the burden of proof on the shoulders of women. That is not fair at all. What is it that you have to offer? Are you as handsome as some women expect men to be? Are you big fine like Morris Chestnut? Can you surprise me with trips to Paris on a whim? Can you hold an intellectual conversation about the state of affairs in our community? (These are all rhetorical questions by the way! ) The point is, you get what you have to offer sometimes. You can't expect to attract dimes if you are only three pennies. Sometimes when we are unhappy with what we get, we have to evaluate ourselves. Not saying that you should expect anything but the best for yourself, but we just have to do a little "soul searching." Maybe you have to tighten up your "game," approach, conversation, etc. Also change your mindset. In your post, you stated that "a lot" of women are dense. That's not a fair statement. SOME women are dense, as are men. If you keep in mind that women are dense, gold diggers, etc., that is all you are going to meet. Give it a try.

P.S. If you can't MATCH or EXCEED the qualities that you look for in a good woman, how can you expect to be labeled as a "good man?" Think about it.

Girlllll you took the words right out of my mouth!!!!!!!!!!!!

TLAW · #10 06-03-2002, 10:41 PM

They are hard... I found one of the last remaining few...

thesweetestone · #11 06-04-2002, 10:45 AM

Tammy and Redefined Diva

Relationships are about being together helping each other. Very few people totally have it together this early in life. If you only look for women to fulfill the requirements on your list, then you will probably miss out on alot of "good women." Think about it alot of couple didn't have money before they got married. What they had was love, respect and passion for each other. I don't understand why men expect us to except that they are not saved, don't have money or education. First out of their mouth "I want a good girl!" Knowing they have been the biggest whores.
"I want a Christian woman!" Have you gotten saved? "No, that 's why I want a Christian woman. She'll bring me on in the church." Can you cook? "No, That's why I need a wife to cook for me." Why do we have to pull ya'll up? What hell are you bring to the table?

sphinxpoet · #12 06-04-2002, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by thesweetestone
Tammy and Redefined Diva

Relationships are about being together helping each other. Very few people totally have it together this early in life. If you only look for women to fulfill the requirements on your list, then you will probably miss out on alot of "good women." Think about it alot of couple didn't have money before they got married. What they had was love, respect and passion for each other. I don't understand why men expect us to except that they are not saved, don't have money or education. First out of their mouth "I want a good girl!" Knowing they have been the biggest whores.
"I want a Christian woman!" Have you gotten saved? "No, that 's why I want a Christian woman. She'll bring me on in the church." Can you cook? "No, That's why I need a wife to cook for me." Why do we have to pull ya'll up? What hell are you bring to the table?

LOL at image! You are right but when you say that but if you have a person that can do all those things......as a lot of women say "Why do the hell do I need a man if I can do everything for myself?" WHat happens if men can do everything now and dont need women(this is not my opinion just a question)

lovelyivy84 · #13 06-04-2002, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sphinxpoet

LOL at image! You are right but when you say that but if you have a person that can do all those things......as a lot of women say "Why do the hell do I need a man if I can do everything for myself?" WHat happens if men can do everything now and dont need women(this is not my opinion just a question)

That is a dangerous attitude to have because we ALL need one another. It also seems to be a belief that both men and women nowadays seem to have more and more often. Very few people are mentally equipped to stand alone, and I think that while you need not define yourself in terms of your romantic relationships, you have to be open to sharing yourself with another person, because that's how we grow as people.

Aspire · #14 06-04-2002, 09:52 PM

For those who think that I'm being unreal about all of those things on the list I,m not I am all of those things and plus a touch extra not saying I'm God's gift to any woman but it amazes me that for all of the women that I date and have as friends that I am not somewhere Damn near marriage or even feeling like they are worth marrying- I mean all a brotha wants is that one sista to Love and adore is that to much to ask for? And even though all of you ladies offer valid points- these are things I've heard before and from females I know and when I ask them the question about what I'm asking for that I don't have -the answer is nothing so that leaves me to believe that either the sistas are B.S.ing about what they really want or are more intrested in projects or rather Not an Already Made man but one they can make?

And Once Again Please Define Your Opinions of A Good Woman maybe I'm missing something or just not looking for the right things

librasoul22 · #15 06-04-2002, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aspire
For those who think that I'm being unreal about all of those things on the list I,m not I am all of those things and plus a touch extra not saying I'm God's gift to any woman but it amazes me that for all of the women that I date and have as friends that I am not somewhere Damn near marriage or even feeling like they are worth marrying- I mean all a brotha wants is that one sista to Love and adore is that to much to ask for? And even though all of you ladies offer valid points- these are things I've heard before and from females I know and when I ask them the question about what I'm asking for that I don't have -the answer is nothing so that leaves me to believe that either the sistas are B.S.ing about what they really want or are more intrested in projects or rather Not an Already Made man but one they can make?

And Once Again Please Define Your Opinions of A Good Woman maybe I'm missing something or just not looking for the right things

For one to answer your question, I think a good woman is one who is strong, confident, ambitious, and loyal.

Secondly, I am not trying to be rude or abrasive here, but I think you are too worried about everyone else. You may possess a certain amount of all the qualities you have mentioned. Great. But all the time you have spent worrying about other people's opinions and other people's defintions of a "good woman," could have been spent getting to know yourself. And ultimately that is what is important anyway. I know that for me I am looking for a MAN (not a BOY or a MALE) who knows himself and is comfortable with that. Everything else (the confidence, ambition, etc.) will come after that. So my advice to you is to hold off on trying to look for a good woman. Start bettering yourself as a man and perhaps you will see results.