prejudice in fraternities and sororities

XOZAOSU · #1 06-20-2001, 01:38 AM

Just wanted some different opinions on this topic...I have a friend (guy) in a fraternity (chapter and univ. will remain nameless) and he is gay. He is afraid to tell his brothers because he says that they will force him out of his chapter..I was just wondering how guys felt about this and if there are any openly gay brothers in your chapter? same goes for sororities, I don't think it would be a big deal in my chapter but i'm a pretty open person...has anyone had to deal with this in their chapter and if so how did you handle it?

lambda_chi_alpha_IDZ_816 · #2 06-20-2001, 01:59 AM

I would think how people react would have to deal with the ideals of the fraternity/sorority as well as personal beliefs. This situation would be a true test of brother/sisterhood.

Katey Alpha Gam · #3 06-20-2001, 02:09 PM

Here at Eastern Mich, I have heard really god things about greeks comming out in their org and really bad things too. We had one sister (my roomate) come out and even brought her g/f to formal. Some people were uncomfortable about it, but they wouldn't show it for the most part. Our Delt chapter also had a gay brother and he came out at a meeting and everyone was very accepting and understanding about it. One of the most popular greek girls on campus was a Phi Sigma Sigma and an out lesbian who actually was very active in our LGBT officeon campus. But DZ was a different story. A sister came out and while some sisters were very nice, others (who she lived in the house with) threw things at her, called her a dike, one even put a sign on her door that said "no dykes allowed". I would have to say tho, that it is very common to have a gay member in a chapter, closeted or not. When my roomate came out she and I were talking and she said she knew for a fact there was a lesbian or bisexual girl in every sorority on campus. 1 in 10 people are gay so look at the chances you have for that to be the case. I think it is really sad that they will kick him out. He is the same person they initiated, he just likes guys instead of girls, that's the only difference. If he wants, he can prolly stil be a member of his fraternity and join Delta Lambda Phi as well. It might help him out and give him the brotherhood he wants w/ppl who understand. I think he could be in both and DLPhi is an awesome org. I have many friends in it

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Katey, ZA chapter of AGD
"Could I have been anyone other than me?"-Dave Matthews

PM_Mama00 · #4 06-20-2001, 07:38 PM

That is great that at Eastern the fraternities have dealt so well with their gay brother. I'm sure there is at least one gay/lesbian greek in each org, but the machoness of the brothers might scare them into thinking that they could never come out. I know guys that will say they hate gays, but they love their brothers so I think they actually might deal with it in a good way. As for the sororities at my school, I haven't heard of any lesbians who have come out, but I know in my organization we would have no problem with it. My sisters are my sisters, no matter what. We'll always share that bond.

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It's not who always wins, it's who always gets respect...Phi Mu Rocks!!!
Phildo
PM'00

GmuTeke · #5 06-21-2001, 12:04 AM

That's a tough one to ask, as for my chapter, there are no out gay members in mine, though I've heard from some of our alumni that there was one once upon a time. I think it would depend on the general mood of the chapter, the university and surrounding area.

The National Office of his fraternity will of course be opposed to any kind of descrimination like that, so they physically COULDNT kick him out, however the sad fact is that they could make him so miserable he would debadge just to escape it all.

Personally, I'm all for having a gay member in our chapter. I mean, the ladies love them and it's one less guy competing for girls at parties :-)

ilovemyglo · #6 06-21-2001, 12:50 AM

I know of a chapter of AGD in Alabama that had a gay sister that ended up being president. I don't think it matters, personally, but I have a lot of gay friends and don't really care about their dating, just so long as their Significant other treats them well.

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"...and love her for her womanhood."

dc1 · #7 06-21-2001, 12:50 AM

XOZAOSU,
A great resource/information on this topic is: www.lambda10.org

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Faced with the Divine, I was asked; "What one gift do you seek?"
I answered ever so meekly; "I seek Honor, Truth, Integrity, and Wisdom, yet those are four. How am I to choose?"
The answer came as a pounding whisper; "The four you seek are but one. I grant thee Compassion; for without it the four make none."
Author - me

shadokat · #8 06-21-2001, 10:39 AM

There was an article in the Daily Pennsylvanian (University of Pennsylvania paper) about this very subject. And apparently, the guys are ok with it. Guys in the fraternities know that there are guys that are gay, and it's just not a problem for them. I don't think it should make a shit bit of difference, because if someone embodies the ideals your sorority/fraternity was founded on, who cares if they're gay or straight!

queequek · #9 06-21-2001, 11:19 AM

Our Greek advisor is gay. The story goes, he was an active member of a fraternity down south, and once he openly admitted that he is gay, his brothers hazed him so bad. Until a point that he sued his national, and he was deactivated because of that.
He came to our university and was given an honorary member of another fraternity, and then he knows both fraternity rituals.

Hopefully this will help.

TKEmz894 · #10 07-02-2001, 05:57 PM

Our chapter excepts people of every race, and background except for Gay/lesbian. I dont think some people would have a problem with it but the majority including myself would definately not except it or anyone who was openly gay in our Fraternity.....You can tell us we are wrong or what have you but The majority of us where raised Catholic and we find it to conflict with our values. Also no matter how much you disagree with our viewpoints it is our Fraternity not yours........Blaise

MafiaCSUS · #11 07-03-2001, 01:59 AM

TKEmz894, (and everyone else)
First off, its accepts, not excepts. I don't want to speak my opinion on this issue, but let me state a fact. If your chapter does not accept gay or lesbian people BACAUSE of that sexual prefrence, they can, and will be, sued. If someone gets enough courage to do it, they will... and chances are, they will win. True, the Boy Scouts of America can no longer have gay people in leadership positions in their organization (if they choose not to), but I assume that most judges would make a decision in favor of homsexual people. Even if they lose the case, if a lawsuit is brought against you (thus messing with your insurance), youre HQ will probably take your charter if it looks to be giving them a bad reputation.
Should gay people be allowed? I dont know... Will they face far more challenges? yes... words of advice, if you drop someone from your organization, make sure it is for something that will guard you from lawsuits that will have a negative effect on your chapter.

newbie · #12 07-03-2001, 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TKEmz894:
You can tell us we are wrong or what have you but The majority of us where raised Catholic and we find it to conflict with our values. Also no matter how much you disagree with our viewpoints it is our Fraternity not yours........Blaise

I am also Christian - and it depends all on how you interpret the Bible. What about God saying that all people should be ACCEPTed (not excepted)?

Also, have you given a thought on how homosexuals are BORN that way - they really do not have a choice whether they are homosexual or not. It's too bad that you're trying to control a facet of their lives which they didn't (and COULDN'T) determine.

[This message has been edited by newbie (edited July 03, 2001).]

SSS1365 · #13 07-03-2001, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by newbie:
I am also Christian - and it depends all on how you interpret the Bible. What about God saying that all people should be ACCEPTed (not excepted)?

Also, have you given a thought on how homosexuals are BORN that way - they really do not have a choice whether they are homosexual or not. It's too bad that you're trying to control a facet of their lives which they didn't (and COULDN'T) determine.

[This message has been edited by newbie (edited July 03, 2001).]

I agree. I'm not really religious, but for a class last summer I had to read Jesus Christ's Sermon on the Mount in the Bible (it was a World Religions class). The way I interpreted just that one part of the Bible is that all people are to be accepted and loved. Furthermore, I just can't believe that people choose to be homosexual... I really don't think they can help it. So then who are we to judge? It's almost like being racist-- it's stupid to hate someone due to something they have no control over.

gammazetagrl · #14 07-03-2001, 08:58 AM

There is a guy who pledged last semester for my business fraternity that was gay. It wasn't an issue, although when the actives talked about the pledges there were some side comments about it and at first we were TRYING to figure out if he really was or not. One day though, during a meeting he just came out and said that he knew there's an issue about gay brothers/sisters who want to come out to their chapter and he said before he could go on any longer and be initiated we must know that he was one of them. I actually applaud him for doing so and our chapter was really accepting about it.

I guess i agree w/ other people, it depends on the general mood of the chapter and the university. i think it owuld be a shame to kick out a sister/brother based on their sexual preference though, because these peeps are more than just friends, you consider them your brother/sister, and you should accept them for what they are as they accept you.

newbie · #15 07-03-2001, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SSS1365:

Furthermore, I just can't believe that people choose to be homosexual... I really don't think they can help it. So then who are we to judge? It's almost like being racist-- it's stupid to hate someone due to something they have no control over.

I totally agree SSS1365. I really doubt that they would choose to be homosexual - just b/c so many homosexuals are discriminated against!

[This message has been edited by newbie (edited July 03, 2001).]