» GC Stats |
Members: 329,690
Threads: 115,665
Posts: 2,204,902
|
Welcome to our newest member, sabelladark5965 |
|
 |
|

03-09-2002, 06:48 PM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Lawrence, Ks
Posts: 71
|
|
Quiting your GLO?
Hello all, by now you probably know me at least a little bit, and you probably also know what I come here for most often......  yup advice. Well this could possibly be the last time Icome for it, I'm seriously considering quiting my GLO. The problem is a combination of a bunch of things. Everything has been going so crappy the last 3 weeks. Between girl problems and everything else I just dont want to deal with my GLO too. MY pledge brothers are complete asses, they make the sh*tiest grades, they constantly drink, and they try to give me shit. Out of the pledge brothers have the highest GPA, the most hours with 18, and I work another 15 hours a week. The stress of my schedule alone is enough without these fools giving me hell too. They also contradict "the true gentleman" and just about everything else we stand for. I had my recent girlfriend over because she is incredible at math and I suck, and due to a fight with a pledge brother he said, "your not studying you in there with an ugly ass bitch" she even heard him, had she not been there I would have beat the living sh*t out of him. All of them are that way to, fake and rude. The real problem comes down to this, I like the actives, I like the house and ideals. But the other pledges aren't going to quit or get kicked out and I do not in any way want to be associated with them. I also dont want to live/put up with their pathetic immaturity for the next year at least. So what way do you all purpose I solve this? Also I have already 2 talks with the pledge trainers and they are still a$$holes....
|

03-09-2002, 07:00 PM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Kansas City, Kansas USA
Posts: 23,584
|
|
Dammit, Ryan, I have been trying to get ahold of you and I can see why maybe I have not heard from You!
If you will E-M me I would like to talk to you one on one!
If you will e-m me a phone # where I can talk with you I will. I was planning on coming back from Topeka Sun. Morn. but plans got cancelled! If like I will drive to Lawrence and meet you somewhere out side of the SAE House!
E-M hoyotomas@aol.com!
Hey Man when you get under the gun it gets tuff on all edges of everything!
I can give you some stories that will will make you laff and cry at the same time!
PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!! ASAP!
__________________
LCA
LX Z # 1
Alumni
|

03-09-2002, 07:22 PM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7,867
|
|
Ryan,
I'm just starting to come back to GC after a very hard time for me in my chapter. Things happened and part of me wanted to say, "F you! I don't need to be around people that don't appriciate me and make me feel like my efforts have been worthless!" But then I thought about all the amazing times I've had and the some of the wonderful people I have met. I told myself that my sorority is an international organization with so much more to offer than just my individual chapter. Please remember that when you joined your chapter, you joined an entire fraternity with lifetime bonds that extend past your chapter.
If you want to vent, please PM me because I think I know what you must be feeling right now! Remeber, "this too shall pass."
Leslie
__________________
AGD
|

03-09-2002, 08:00 PM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 3,401
|
|
I really don't know what to say, but I'll bet the guys will. I have to tell you, you have impressed me so much. All your posts seem to explode with enthusasm and energy. You are so articulate, it doesn't surprise me one bit your GPA is the highest.
Tom, DeltAlum and James can probably give you the voice of experience. I just wanted to chime in to say I'm sorry you have a bunch of jerks to deal with.
You say you like the actives? What is the likelyhood of running with them after initiation? How about your Big Brother?
As long as you have people that you can identify wih in the org,
maybe it could all work out. If you see a pattern developing, that might mean a deeper problem.
One thing I do know-never make a decision when you have so many hassles, it colors your perception. Oh, I hope it works out for you, I really do...
|

03-09-2002, 08:08 PM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: New York City
Posts: 10,837
|
|
I've seen a few people quit their GLOs as actives and pledges when I was in school. They all regretted it. One of our pledges (we called them that back then) was on the fence about joining. She was having problems with her boyfriend and a few members of her pledge class. I tried to encourage her to stick with it since initiation was in two weeks and in my opinion she would have made an excellent sister. She ultimately depledged one week prior to initiation much to the diappointment of all of the sisters. The next semester she regretted it and wanted to be initiated. Since she would have to pledge all over again, she decided not to do it. I don't want to see you make the same mistake and have the same regrets.
The bonds of SAE brotherhood will last for a lifetime. Right now you are clearly going through a difficult time and those pledge brothers are a major cause of it. If you still want to be an SAE, you need to figure out how to stand up for yourself to the guys giving you a hard time. That remark about your girlfriend was completely unacceptable and should not be tolerated by you or her. The unfortunate thing about people is that you can't change them. You can only change your reaction to them. Maybe you need to change your approach. If you lighten up and laugh them off, they might get sick of being a$$holes to you. In life you will always have personality clashes with other people and this can actually be a good life lesson for you. You seem to have your priorities in order. Focus on your grades, your job, and your fraternity. Your fraternity should have the resources to help you. I think that you should talk to the president, pledge trainer, and your big brother. Ask them for suggestions and advice about this situation. Good luck!
|

03-09-2002, 08:14 PM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 3,401
|
|
CREAM!!! REALLY GREAT POST! Excellent!
|

03-09-2002, 08:24 PM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: New York City
Posts: 10,837
|
|
AWW SHUCKS! Thanks JAM! You always write great posts!
|

03-09-2002, 10:30 PM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: FL
Posts: 194
|
|
not so great
I'm not so great with advice along these lines, but I do know that I recently dealt with the issue of depledging/disaffiliating with two of my closest sisters. There is ALWAYS something that can be done, either by you or your fraternity to fix situations. And I'm sure the Fraternity men on here will be better to talk to you about this than me, but I do know that if you depledge you'll be sorry down the road. You joined a brotherhood for a reason...if you all of a sudden don't have any part of it anymore you'll definitely miss it. Not all of it, because the hassles will be over, but you will miss the parts of it that are most important to you that you may be too foggy too see right now. So best of luck and my only advice is to hang in there.
You can't fix something if you leave and if your fraternity means as much to you as my sorority does, then you'll stick around and find some way to fix the situation with the help of the brothers you are closest to.
Good luck...life will get easier...
Tara
to practice day by day love, honor, truth
|

03-10-2002, 12:36 AM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 758
|
|
I think there are many Greeks who go through phases where they want to leave their respective GLO. Many times these feelings pass and the situation passes. I had gone through periods like this as a pledge a little bit, but soon passed. Later after inatation, there were problems and came exteremly close to turning in my badge (on my terms, not theirs). Instead, I decided to leave school and my chapter due to the many things going on. I knew there were still options open to me and could probably affiliate elsewhere. I also knew the organization as a whole was not the problem, it was just the locale of where I was. Hang in there, there are usually many options open in many situations that people face in many situations. Lisa
|

03-10-2002, 05:22 AM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Ky
Posts: 503
|
|
Let me get this straight, you gonna let a friggin goat run you outof a fraternity that you have been intiated in?
Christ dude, pm me, for petes sake
__________________
?
|

03-10-2002, 12:04 PM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: NY
Posts: 8,594
|
|
SAEguy,
Before, I start spouting advice let me just clarify something:
You are a pledge still correct? How far into your program are you?
There is a big difference, in some ways, when it comes to depledging vs. dissaffiliating if you are already initiated.
Thanks and keep your chin up
|

03-10-2002, 01:50 PM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 604
|
|
Problems with org
I totally agree with LeslieAGD-You have to look at the bigger picture of the fraternity.
You joined for a lifetime and 4 years of college is a very small portion of your life. Just keep in mind all of the ideas of your org. that you really stand by and how they define you as a person. I have had some very serious problems in my org., DGP~Honey, can vouch for that, but I did not quite. No matter how bad people treat you, you have to rise above that. You have to get to the point where you do what it takes to make yourself happy in the org. If that means pulling away from some of the brothers, so be it.
Look at it this way, if there are some people in the org. who only drink, smoke, and get bad grades, they will probably disaffiliate themselves after college anyways. So really you have nothing to worry about.
|

03-10-2002, 02:27 PM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: NY
Posts: 8,594
|
|
Actually guys, when you start pledging you haven't made that life long committment yet. You are testing your suitability for that organization both nationaly, and even more so, the local chapter.
So if you find that while pledging, the local chapter is not a place you want to be, it is more than acceptable to not want to be affiliated with that group for the next few years.
Especially because that is going to dictate a lot of your social life.
To use the argument that you are joining a larger national for life, with affiliation options after you graduate is true, but shouldn't be the determinate for you joining your average mainstream fraternity or sorority, because there is very little affiliation, percentage wise, after graduation.
Plus, you are joining a social organization. We forget this sometimes, but it is aa social organization, if you don't respect the people around you andaren' going to have fun, why do it? Its just going to diminish the quality of your college experience and leave you bitter.
|

03-10-2002, 05:23 PM
|
GreekChat Member
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7,867
|
|
Quote:
Originally posted by James
Actually guys, when you start pledging you haven't made that life long committment yet. You are testing your suitability for that organization both nationaly, and even more so, the local chapter.
|
Honestly James, I didn't realize we were talking about a new member situation. Obviously I skipped the part about his pledge brothers or I just assumed he was coming to that realization about his pledge class after the fact.
But mostly, my advice still stands. Ryan obviously joined for a reason and I think he should really consider that. Also, how long has he been pledging? If he joined very recently, maybe he's just getting a negative perspective from a few jerks. If he's close to initation, does he really want to make it all for nothing? I don't mean to say "deal with it" but in every chapter there has to be at least one person who acts like an asshole. There have been times when I wanted to quit, but it was always because of a few nasty people, not the majority of the chapter.
I just think that when anyone considers leaving their GLO, it should be a well thought out decision.
__________________
AGD
|

03-10-2002, 06:32 PM
|
Moderator
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Crescent City
Posts: 10,050
|
|
I agree with what's been said here... lots of good advice.
Depledging/deaffiliating is a big decision, not to be made lightly - just as pledging is a big decision.
As James pointed out, you have two big things to consider: the 4 years of college, and the rest of your life after college. It's not worth making yourself miserable for 4 years in order to become an alum and tell your chapter where to stick it when they start asking for donations.  But only you can decide if you would be unhappy ... if it's just a couple of guys, the benefits of being in a GLO and the friendships you'll form with your other brothers may outweigh the effects of these guys.
I had some big problems with a couple of my chapter sisters, and thought about deaffiliating more than once. But I realized that by deaffiliating, I would be throwing out the good with the bad. I would be severing relationships with those of my sisters who were my good friends (they would still be my friends, of course, but not my sisters), and I would be giving up the opportunities for social activities, charity work, networking, etc. that being in a GLO brings. So I stayed, and I'm glad I did.
Have you talked to your pledge trainers about depledging? Would you want to join a different fraternity? If so, what are the odds that you'd be able to? (Some fraternities at my school just *do not* take anyone older than a freshman.)
Oh, and your pledge brother who called your girlfriend a bitch, needs an ass-kicking in the worst way
__________________
AEΦ ... Multa Corda, Una Causa ... Celebrating Over 100 Years of Sisterhood
Have no place I can be since I found Serenity, but you can't take the sky from me...
Only those who risk going too far, find out how far they can go.
|
 |
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|