How should i break this damn coconut?

Lil_G · #1 03-03-2002, 01:16 PM

It was an impulse buy at the supermarket, cheap compared to all the other produce so i decided to give it a try....only after i brought the coconut home did i realize i had nothing to crack it with. It's quite solid, harder to open than i anticipated.

PenguinTrax · #2 03-03-2002, 01:23 PM

Take a drill or screwdriver and drill out the 3 'eye' in the nut. Drain out the liquid (it's a delicacy in Latin America, but personally, I don't like it). Then, either use a small saw to saw the nut in pieces or us a hammer to first hammer away the area around the eyes, then whack at the rest of it to break it up.

KillarneyRose · #3 03-03-2002, 01:23 PM

We lived in Miami for a bit when I was a teeny tiny li'l girl and we had a coconut tree in our front yard. Whenever one would fall down, my dad would put it on a newspaper get a nail and hammer to make a hole in it then drain out all the juice inside. THEN get the hammer and basically beat the crap out of the coconut. It will end up in pieces and you can use a knife to cut the "meat" out.

James · #4 03-03-2002, 01:39 PM

You know PnguinTrax . . . taken out of context that seems very very painful.

But if you are going to do all that it might be more fun to take a hatchet to it after you get the milk out

.

Or, you might want to subscribe to the KABillyMac Theory of Chainsaw use for the Breaking Down of Substances.

Just offering a counterpoint.

Quote:

Originally posted by PnguinTrax
Take a drill or screwdriver and drill out the 3 'eye' in the nut. Drain out the liquid (it's a delicacy in Latin America, but personally, I don't like it). Then, either use a small saw to saw the nut in pieces or us a hammer to first hammer away the area around the eyes, then whack at the rest of it to break it up.

Peaches-n-Cream · #5 03-03-2002, 03:17 PM

James, You are too funny! LOL! Chainsaw

DeltAlum · #6 03-03-2002, 05:35 PM

James,

That's really funny --- but, as I pointed to BillyMac, be sure the coconut is unplugged before you use any power tools.

Lil_G · #7 03-03-2002, 07:45 PM

...all great suggestions except this poor student is low on tools...so i took the prehistoric route instead, went out into the street and threw it against the pavement - had to clean off the mud, still good...

james it's funny you should bring in the sexual undertones. I caught the eye of some ladies walking by and offered them a piece of my coconut but they said it was too small....last time i offer my nuts to some random girls in front of my place.

James · #8 03-03-2002, 07:52 PM

LMAO,

That was funny . . . all i can say is maybe you should just show them the merchandise next time . . . if there were less girls on the site that would flame me, I would take the illustration farther

James

Quote:

Originally posted by Lil_G
...all great suggestions except this poor student is low on tools...so i took the prehistoric route instead, went out into the street and threw it against the pavement - had to clean off the mud, still good...

james it's funny you should bring in the sexual undertones. I caught the eye of some ladies walking by and offered them a piece of my coconut but they said it was too small....last time i offer my nuts to some random girls in front of my place.

lifesaver · #9 03-04-2002, 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lil_G
It was an impulse buy at the supermarket, cheap compared to all the other produce so i decided to give it a try....only after i brought the coconut home did i realize i had nothing to crack it with. It's quite solid, harder to open than i anticipated.

Tom Hanks can get into one and he was on an island in the middle of the south pacific with nothing but a fedex package and a volleyball, yet you are having trouble?

If you need more help you could always ask the racoons....

BTW, KABM would also need a fifth of Beam, an electrical supply an arc welder and something gasoline powered to do the job properly....

Lil_G · #10 03-04-2002, 10:38 AM

those damn raccons are back, hungry and groggy from their winter slumber...

but i left them a little 'sumptin out on the street in case our garbage isn't even to fill them up.

AlphaGam1019 · #11 03-04-2002, 10:59 AM

I want more raccon pics!

KABillyMac · #12 03-04-2002, 11:35 AM

Yes yes, in order to properly break open a coconut, you will need 55 gallons of bourbon and a chainsaw.

First, drink the bourbon. Next, take a nap. Wake up from nap, start chainsaw, and cut your dishwasher in half. And then if that coconut dont just fall open out of pure fear, then give his ass a little dose too.

Lil_G · #13 03-04-2002, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KABillyMac
Yes yes, in order to properly break open a coconut, you will need 55 gallons of bourbon and a chainsaw.

First, drink the bourbon. Next, take a nap. Wake up from nap, start chainsaw, and cut your dishwasher in half. And then if that coconut dont just fall open out of pure fear, then give his ass a little dose too.

no dishwasher. kitchen table - trim it...would this work to dose some fear onto those ring-tailed sons o bitches?...or i could chase 'em ala scarface

KABillyMac · #14 03-04-2002, 11:54 AM

No my friend, unfortunatly coons could give a damn be it chainsaw or curling iron. They have no fear of power tools. Again, you will need to revert to paintballs, tin on the trees, and possibly a rocket launcher.

Lil_G · #15 03-04-2002, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KABillyMac
No my friend, unfortunatly coons could give a damn be it chainsaw or curling iron. They have no fear of power tools. Again, you will need to revert to paintballs, tin on the trees, and possibly a rocket launcher.

...suggestion noted...added manpower - coconuts/raccons...?

cheap, fun, leaves us with a snack at the end.

btw james - feel free to make your sexual connotations, i'm really-pretty-confident all the ladies are tied up with the loser thread.
giddy up