I Need Help!!!

GreekGirl604 · #1 02-28-2002, 01:31 AM

I am having a really big problem and I'm hoping someone can help.
Last spring I pledged a sorority. Unfortunately I didn't get initiated because my fall GPA was below the initiation requirement. For reasons a bit out of my control, I had to transfer back to my home state in the fall. Because I was curious to see what rush was like at other schools (my first school was not very greek-oriented and only had 5 sororities), I decided to rush this spring. I ended up getting a bid for a house I really liked.
Now here's my problem: I'm not sure which house I want to stick with! Both schools are about the same academically, so extracurricular activities, etc. are bearing a lot of weight in my decision.
PLEASE HELP!!

sailorchicDG · #2 02-28-2002, 02:10 AM

Well, GreekGirl604 you got a tough decision on your hands. My advice would be to make sure there are no rules about pledging twice to two different sororities at different schools and semseters. I don't know if there are any problems that Panhellinic would have with that. Also look at other non superficial (not saying that you're being superficial

) things like how well you got along with the girls in each chapter, each sororities philanthopy, and even your own long term goals (are you planning on transfering again? Do other ladies in chapter have similar career intrests, like your major? and are you planning on continuing with an alumni group after college?)

These things you should diffinatly look at because being in a sorority is something that you should be proud of both within your chapter and nationally; not only while you are in school but forever.

I understand your situation cause a similar one happend to me. When I went through recruitement my Freshman year, I didn't get initiated with my new member class either (I didn't pass the initiation test in time to get initiated). Just think about your options and try to figure out what will work best for you to make you happy.

Good luck and hope you make the wise choice.

-Kelly
Delta Gamma
Eta Delta Chapter

AXWhoah · #3 02-28-2002, 02:52 AM

Sorry, totally superficial question but what are the two houses that you are choosing between? No reason other than curiosity....

33girl · #4 02-28-2002, 07:40 PM

Well....the first sorority might not be too jazzed if they find out you went to another school and got a bid somewhere else. Not definite, just something to consider. I would sound them out before I went back counting on a place in that house.

Look at the overall makeup of the schools - big or small, residential or commuter, etc - because even if you are in a sorority you love, if it's a huge school and you would prefer a small one, you might still be miserable. Try making a list of pros and cons for each - it really helps to write it all out.

Thetagurl · #5 02-28-2002, 11:19 PM

I think if you pledge a NPC sorority you cannot pledge another until a year has passed.
We had a girl at my school that was going through rush and got asked to leave because she pledged Kappa Kappa Gamma at a school very close to us and it hadn't been a year.
Good luck in your decision.

PhiMuLady150 · #6 02-28-2002, 11:39 PM

well If you pledged "ABC" sorority last spring(01), but didn't get initiated due to GPA requirements then you would still be considered a pledge of "ABC". Unless...you chose to "depledge". If you did "depledge" then you would be ok to rush and pledge another sorority(XYZ) this spring(a year later)...but you might need to talk to the "XYZ" house about everything so you can clear things up before you accept that bid.

sailorchicDG · #7 03-02-2002, 12:04 AM

I just wanna know how things work out so keep posting. -Kelly

33girl · #8 03-02-2002, 12:28 AM

As Pnguin Trax posted to this same question in another thread, if you are a pledge (not initiated) and transfer to another school, the "one year" rule does not apply. You are starting with a completely fresh slate and are not bound to the sorority at the first school. As far as NPC rules are concerned, that is. How it is received in actual practice is, as I pointed out, a different story.

GreekGirl604 · #9 03-06-2002, 02:07 AM

I'm sure that the first sorority I pledged would take me back. I was voted as the "model pledge" from my pledge class, despite the fact that I wasn't initiated on time.
I know that a sorority is something you're in for your whole life, and that's what's making this decision so hard for me. I really liked the first one i pledged, but by the time i go back to that school, around half of the girls I know will be gone. Greek life is also a much bigger thing at the school I'm at now and the girls in the house here seem to be much more involved, not only in the house, but in the school in general. Being in a sorority just seems to mean more here.
I know I've only been pledging for a few weeks so far, but as a house (meaning the traditions, history,etc...) I like the first house i chose more. Plus I also feel a lot of loyalty to them as well.

ErikaXO · #10 03-06-2002, 12:22 PM

Of course you aren't supposed to do these things but it happens. It was an open secret at my school that this girl who was an Alpha Phi had actually been an INITIATED member of Delta Zeta. What had happened basically was that she had gone to another school right out of HS, rushed, and gone DZ which was very strong at this other school. Then after she was initiated she decided to transfer to Kent for whatever reason. Well unfortunately DZ was not one of the "popular" chapters at our school and she wasn't the type to stick with her own sisterhood if it wasn't going to benefit her socially. So, she pretended she had never rushed before, went through as a sophomore, and pledged Alpha Phi!!!! I guess colleges don't cross-check these things but I can't understand how so many of us could know about it and she still get away with it. Once she was intiated by Alpha Phi there wasn't much that could be done aside from revoking her membership, I guess, but that never happened. Obviously she does not have DZ alum status since she just dropped off the face of the earth, but I can't believe the DZ chapter at her old school didn't notify the chapter at Kent.

By panhel rules, you are supposed to wait a year before you can rush again.....so technically this other chapter should not have extended you a bid. Apparently they did not know you had pledged elsewhere.....? I would be careful if I were you.....not everyone is as lucky as the above-mentioned DZ/APhi

AchtungBaby80 · #11 03-06-2002, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ErikaXO
Of course you aren't supposed to do these things but it happens. It was an open secret at my school that this girl who was an Alpha Phi had actually been an INITIATED member of Delta Zeta.

Oh my!

I didn't know that could actually happen! Wow...

But this situation is a little different, since you haven't been initiated. I agree with those who said that you don't have to wait a year if you transfer schools...that's what I've been hearing all along, so it's "legal" for you to accept that new bid as long as you depledge from the other sorority. BUT...since you said you feel loyal deep down to the first sorority and like it better, you know what you have to do. It may look like a tough decision, but as mom tells me all the time, "You've already made up your mind, so quit fiddling around and just do it." I think you should stick with your first choice, especially if you plan to return to your old school. In the meantime, stay in touch with your sisters!

PhiMuLady150 · #12 03-06-2002, 02:29 PM

You have to do what you know you have to do. Obviously a decision needs to be made quickly before initiation of your "current" pledge class...

dzsaigirl · #13 03-06-2002, 02:37 PM

It is so easy for that to happen. It's not like we check girls against some huge database when they go through rush. We expect them to be honest and we expect their recs (if they have them) to know that kind of stuff too. Think about it. If you went to another school. What reason would they have to think that you are lying to them? You could easily go into rush and join another group. However, I don't see why anyone would EVER think that was okay!

AchtungBaby80 · #14 03-06-2002, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dzsaigirl
It is so easy for that to happen. It's not like we check girls against some huge database when they go through rush.

Wow, I had no idea...I seriously thought word would get out somehow, you know? Even if there is no Database of Everyone Who Has Ever Been Through Rush.

I'm thinking the same thing you are, dzsaigirl--WHY would anyone want to do that anyway? I mean, even if they did get away with it, you'd think they'd feel at least a little bit guilty, wouldn't you?

AGDLynn · #15 03-06-2002, 09:20 PM

In defense of alumnae chapters, the collegiates might know that the collegiate has left and is attending another school, but that doesn't mean the alumnae chapter knows. Usually, the addresses we have for collegiates is their parents...and the collegiates wonder why the alumnae chapter never contacts them!