Wanted: Friends

alphachiohmy · #1 02-17-2002, 10:51 PM

Thats a little how I feel sometimes now that I have moved to big ole Chitown and been here for a month, so I am asking anyone who has moved to a new city how did you develop a core group of friends?

I have three or four acquaintances (sp) here who I have gone out with, but its not the same as my group of best friends in St. Louis, or my sisters back at school and my guy friends there. And I have met several people where I work, and my roommate and I have become good friends but I dont want to be that person who works breathes and goes out with the same people. I want to have a set of friends outside of work. I have joined a gym here that will open this week, and I am looking into the AXO alum group here.

Just wondering how anyone else has adjusted to a move from college grad to the real world?

Oh. I finally found a way back on to greekchat! So, Ill try to log on once a week or so!

alphachiohmy · #2 02-18-2002, 10:52 PM

I guess I am starting to get a little depressed at times. In that for two nights I have had plans with one friend and both nights she has cancelled. Its just frustrating, because it just makes me miss my friends at home even more. I usually am never really depressesd, or if I am I always seem to break out of a funk. I just want to wear a big sign that says "I am new here, please come talk to me." Is that silly?

I am also finding that I am really shy around new people up here, maybe its because I am out of my comfort zone. I went running today and saw this gorgeous boy walk out of his apartment complex preparing to run himself and I wish I had the guts to go over and say hello. It's frustrating when you know noone in a town of 7 million people.

I know things will get better, but it sucks right now.

FuzzieAlum · #3 02-18-2002, 11:09 PM

When I moved from college, where I had a busy social life, to Seattle, where the only person I knew was my ex ... it seemed like I would never get to know anyone.

I eventually met people, but I still feel the way you're describing sometimes. I joined the alum group, and my college's alum group, and I take ballet and I cave ... but those people are mostly acquaintances. My group of good friends is small, and mostly Midwestern "expatriates" like myself. I've found that a lot of people who have grown up here just aren't looking to expand their social circle.

You're lucky if you know a few people from where you work. I work with almost no young people - if they are my age, they are married. But through them you may be able to meet other people.

deltaphi94 · #4 02-19-2002, 02:01 AM

I am so in that position right now! Have been for over a year, and it is driving me crazy! I moved an hour away from where I grew up when I married my husband, and so far I've met...
members of his family (who don't speak to me, btw)
a few people either still in or just out of high school
some cousins I didn't know I had (and now see maybe once a week in passing)
a bunch of people who don't seem to want to give me the time of day because I'm in my 20's and most of them have hit at least 50.

The sad part is I've tried to get in touch alumnae chapters in the area... nothing.
I've volunteered all the time I can, to be told 'we'll call you next week.' ... nothing.

Frustration is mounting and depression has set in...

KarenC725 · #5 02-19-2002, 11:37 AM

My situation isn't quite the same but still annoying.

I moved to the part of town that Rob lives in. I became friends with some of his friends but it isn't something that i can call "my friends". Plus they only do things as couples which is kinda difficult especially now. No one from high school or college is around. The youngest person I work with is 32, married, and about to pop out a kid.

So, I'm my-own friendless. All the gyms around here are insanely expensive and not conducive to younger people. Sometimes I think it would be easier if i was in another state.

dzrose93 · #6 02-19-2002, 11:46 AM

Alphachi,

I understand exactly how you feel... When I first moved to Atlanta, it was tough meeting people. The first thing I did was contact my local DZ alumnae group. It's great that you're looking into your GLO's alum chapters in the area -- very good move!

My group meets once a month, so I always had that to look forward to.

Another thing that I did was get involved in a co-ed softball team -- every county around here seems to have an intramurals department where you can go sign up for various sports teams. That worked out great, too. I met my boyfriend from that team, plus I now have 2 really good girl friends who live close by!

As for the gym, I just joined one last month and I really enjoy it. However, I haven't really met anyone that I would care to hang out with outside the gym itself. Mostly just small-talk buddies for the most part. But, at least I can say hello to someone as soon as I walk in instead of feeling like I'm around a bunch of complete strangers every night!

Good luck! If I think of any other good "meeting places", I'll let you know!

xo_sue · #7 02-19-2002, 12:09 PM

Also look into alums from your college that have moved there too. Try that classmates.com or call the school to find out who from your h.s. or college has moved to Chicago.

I hope that helps! You've got a great personality so that is 75% the battle right there!

AOX81 · #8 02-19-2002, 12:50 PM

In December of 2000 me and my husband both graduated from college. We then moved to his hometown because of his job...which is three hours away from all of my friends, my family, and my whole life. It's been over a year and I'm still having a hard time adjusting. I've tried to do a few things with girls he went to high school with but it just isn't the same as hanging out with my friends. My husband keeps telling me that I need to make NEW friends. That's easy for his to say...we live 5 miles from where he went to high school!! I only work with three other people and they are all at least 15 years older than I am and we do not share any common interests...I can't stand two of them!

There is nothing to do in the town we live in and the closest cities to us are Cleveland and Columbus but they are over an hour away! I would love to move back to Michigan but it looks as though our next move with be to Spring Hill, TN or Shreveport, LA. I think I'm going crazy!!!

Help!

deltaphi94 · #9 02-19-2002, 01:36 PM

AOX81...

Do you live in amish country? I went to school about mid-way between CLeveland and Columbus, and your story is sounding very familiar!

My hometown is all of 2 miles long, and everyone knows everyone there. I live in a much bigger town in southern Ohio now, and have been here for a year. I don't know anyone except my husband and in-laws... oh, and a cousin or two I found accidentaly that I never even knew existed.

#10 02-19-2002, 01:53 PM

You dont even have to move to a new city to have this problem, you can just go back home after it too

,

KappaStargirl · #11 02-20-2002, 12:53 AM

This is going to have to be short...I may go back and edit later.

I just moved 2000 miles to a place where I know NO ONE and it kinda does suck. I am joining the local alum association (waiting for the prez to call me back) and I also met GreekLawGirl through a SoCal meeting of GC'ers...why not set one up?

Look through your local paper for singles events (doesn't always have to be about dating you know) at museums and such, and for community groups to join. Volunteer. The steps you're taking right now are good!

I'll write more later, I'm being kicked off the puter right now.

Where in Chi-Town are you? I grew up there.

alphachiohmy · #12 02-20-2002, 01:05 AM

I live in Oak Park, and work in a NW suburb.

valkyrie · #13 02-20-2002, 01:10 AM

KappaStargirl has a great idea -- why don't we set up a Chicago greekchat meeting?

IowaHawkeye · #14 02-20-2002, 01:22 AM

oh count me in on that one! i'll come home for it if the day works for me!

LexiKD · #15 02-20-2002, 01:34 AM

Well, when I moved home I knew 2 girls from HS.

I helped start a KD alumnae association and have met so many awesome women. Not to mention all the set ups with friends of friends...

Good Luck with the Greek Chat meeting!