Rolling solo without being "alone" and "lonely"

DrPhil · #1 03-31-2014, 07:39 PM

I am a very social person, I like hanging out, but I have some introversion. I enjoy watching movies solo, going to the downtown district solo, and having dinner and drinks solo. I don't always wish to do these solo but on a long warm day like today, I took myself to the local hot spot and am treating myself to a seafood risotto and sangria. Heaven on Earth.

There is more research on people rolling solo by choice. Rolling solo doesn't mean you're alone and lonely. It doesn't mean you're not in a romantic relationship(s). It doesn't mean you don't have friends and people you could be hanging with.

GCers, do you ever roll solo?

AOII Angel · #2 03-31-2014, 07:47 PM

I love to do things by myself at times. When you are with others, you often have to compromise what you want to do. When you are solo, you can do exactly what YOU want to do. It's a refreshing change. I don't like being completely alone for long periods of time like I have been lately since my injury. Cooped up in a house with no human contact can get boring.

amIblue? · #3 03-31-2014, 07:52 PM

I LOVE doing things by myself, and I have been that way my whole life. The most fun thing I ever did was to take a trip to NYC and explore the city all by myself. It takes a long time for loneliness to set in for me.

DrPhil · #4 03-31-2014, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amIblue?

I LOVE doing things by myself, and I have been that way my whole life. The most fun thing I ever did was to take a trip to NYC and explore the city all by myself. It takes a long time for loneliness to set in for me.

I have a friend who spends most of her time traveling the world and backpacking across Europe solo. She will meet people there but travels solo. That terrifies us because we are concerned for her safety. We make sure she calls someone once a week.

DrPhil · #5 03-31-2014, 07:57 PM

Unless I have work to do I don't like being at home solo for more than one day.

During the recent snow-in I was bored for almost 3 days. My significant other was snowed in a few miles away. We talked on the phone all night which was torture. He kept saying silly things like "my fireplace is lit and so am I (libations), wish you were here." About 2 days later he braved the ice and escaped his crib. Better him than me. I refused to drive until the local news stopped discussing ice accidents.

---/
Another thing about rolling solo is I sometimes am a silent observer. Sometimes I feel like talking to the people sitting at the bar with me but sometimes I don't. I don't feel like talking tonight. I just listen and chuckle. Today was a long and talkative day. Now I want to chill, eat, drink, and post on GC.

maconmagnolia · #6 03-31-2014, 08:26 PM

I LOVE being by myself. I have a wonderful boyfriend and amazing friends, but I love to do things on my own. Especially when I have certain things I want to do, like if I'm going to the mall to buy one thing. I don't wanna explore with others - I wanna get in, get out, on my own time. I'm counting down the days until I don't have to share a room anymore and get my own. I'm going to just lay down in bed and bask in being by myself.

Sciencewoman · #7 03-31-2014, 08:31 PM

I find it very difficult to eat alone in a restaurant...I only do this when I absolutely have to. It just feels awkward to me, although I think it would be better if I had a laptop/tablet/book. But not much.

ASTalumna06 · #8 03-31-2014, 08:50 PM

I don't usually like eating by myself, but having a drink at the bar isn't an issue.

I also enjoy watching movies by myself, both at home and at the theater. No discussing and compromising on what to watch!

A few years ago, I was working outside of Orlando, and I have a friend who lives in the area and actually works at Disney. My boss didn't want to stick around for the weekend, so she flew back home to return on Monday. I told my friend that I could meet up with her on Sunday, but I took Saturday for myself.

Best. idea. ever.

I went to MGM Studios all on my own. I went on the rides that I wanted to go on - including the Tower of Terror 5+ times - and I went on three times as many rides as I would have if I was with another person. When you're all by yourself, you're the seat filler! I was asked to skip to the front of the line so many times. And it was kind of entertaining for me to know that I was the one random stranger in some of those families' pictures

AZTheta · #9 03-31-2014, 08:39 PM

All the time! I am told I am "pathologically private"; my mother told me when I was just a wee thing "you don't need anybody, do you?" Truly don't get lonely. I understand it, friends have talked about it; I just don't feel that feeling. Never bored, never short of things to do. People tire me out. I get energy from being alone.

Shrug. I have always been comfortable in my own skin. My friends are terrific, and I have a lot of social outlets. Sometimes I think I have too many social things on my plate. If I want to see a movie, or go to a ball game, or eat a particular food, or hear a particular singer in concert, I'm gonna do it.

Sometimes you can get an awesome seat when you roll solo.

navane · #10 03-31-2014, 08:47 PM

I love being alone as well. Sure, I'm a well-adjusted person with friends and hobbies; but, I tend to be more on the independent side. With my new job, I am finally able to afford a 1-bedroom apartment and I love having my own space. I also have no problem going to a museum or dinner alone. I could be alone for days and not bat an eye.

That said, I feel that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I don't have a serious romantic relationship and I sometimes wonder if having a man in my life would be a wonderful addition or a burden. Though, since I am content with how things are and I have friends, I don't tend to feel "lonely" too often.

DrPhil · #11 03-31-2014, 08:59 PM

Anyone care to share why eating solo bothers you? Is it the need to be doing something like talking to someone, watching the restaurant TV, or on your phone or laptop?

I noticed that when I don't bring my phone with me or there is no restaurant TV in my vicinity, the bartender or server (if I don't sit at the bar) wants to talk more. LOL. I know I'm solo. It is intentional.

ASTalumna06 · #12 03-31-2014, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Anyone care to share why eating solo bothers you? Is it the need to be doing something like talking to someone, watching the restaurant TV, or on your phone or laptop?

I don't mind eating alone if I'm sitting at a bar, but eating alone at a table is weird to me (if I don't have a laptop or a book or something) because I don't know where to look. LOL. Take a bite, look up, stare at the couple at the table in front of me. I guess part of it is not wanting to freak other people out. Haha.

TonyB06 · #13 04-01-2014, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Anyone care to share why eating solo bothers you? Is it the need to be doing something like talking to someone, watching the restaurant TV, or on your phone or laptop?

The solo/non-solo thing has never been a big deal for me so maybe I'm missing the import of the question. I was divorced 9 years before remarrying, so I just did what I felt. Was cool doing things solo, and had dates/company whenever I wanted them.

I highlighted the above quote/question because for some reason, seeing people eating alone does bother me. Always has. I always feel like they're alone, and have no one--knowing it's very possible that there are 18 folk back at the house aggravating the fire out of them and they just want to get away.

But still, seeing single diners in restaurants, particulary elderly people, gives me an unexplainable twinge of sadness.

DrPhil · #14 04-01-2014, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TonyB06

The solo/non-solo thing has never been a big deal for me....

I highlighted the above quote/question because for some reason, seeing people eating alone does bother me. Always has. I always feel like they're alone, and have no one--knowing it's very possible that there are 18 folk back at the house aggravating the fire out of them and they just want to get away.

But still, seeing single diners in restaurants, particulary elderly people, gives me an unexplainable twinge of sadness.

Then the solo/non-solo thing is kind of a big deal to you.

I don't understand some people's need to find a "plus one" for everything. There are people who won't do anything (non-work related) if they don't have someone to accompany them. Going out "on the town", attending religious services, etc. It is one thing to want someone to accompany you but to absolutely need someone to accompany you is different.

It's fine if some people cringe when seeing someone dining solo but I think those people need to spend time paying attention to their "plus one."

What's the point of a "plus one" if you're staring at the next table (or checking your IPhone----cringe).

TonyB06 · #15 04-01-2014, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Then the solo/non-solo thing is kind of a big deal to you.

No, really, it's not. Beyond the fleeting, if consistent, momentary thought in the restautant, it has no bearing on the rest of my day.