Going through recruitment a third time?

[tapuz]

So as I'm writing this, I honestly feel really dumb. Not sure why, but maybe it's partially due to the fact that I just went through my first informal recruitment at my school, and have been checking my email since last night to hear back from a sorority only to find out that they emailed out invitations to their preference night last night...so I just wasn't invited.

I went through formal rush last spring, and got invited to two preference nights. Being silly and indecisive I panicked because my first choice dropped me that night and I had absolutely no backup plan in my mind as to what to do...and realized that if I didn't feel 100% ready to commit somewhere else that I should back out. So I did.

Come fall, I had gotten to know many of the girls in sororities that I had met at rush. I was very excited for it because people had told me that when they didn't get bids to where they wanted in the spring they'd come back in the fall and it would always work out for them. I go to a fairly small school with a really small greek community (about 10%), so I didn't think it would be a problem. However, at orientation, I was honestly really surprised at how many girls were there.

In the fall, the sororities can only fill up to their quota, so each sorority could take anywhere from 6-9 girls, which I guess in a sense makes it more competitive.

Anyway, fast forward to the events. Went to the one of my top choice, loved the girls (many of whom I already kind of knew), had a good time, only issue was that it was VERY crowded and loud and I'm really bad at having conversations when it's that loud. After that event ended I felt kind of iffy about my chances because of all the people that were there. I went to another sorority's events, and liked it a lot more because it was quieter and calmer, and everyone was super nice.

The next morning I checked my email to see that the sorority that I loved had not invited me back to their event, while the other sorority had another open event, which I went to with a smile on my face (even though I was still really let down about the other sorority). The next night, I got an email back from the sorority whose event I attended inviting me to their first invite only event. I was so excited! The next night I nervously went, ended up having a fantastic time with the girls, and was really mad at myself for not being excited about this sorority earlier this year, as well as last spring...when they had invited me to their preference night.

Today however, I found out that I was not invited back to their preference night. I'm just thinking about how I once had the opportunity and I didn't take it.

From reading a lot of the "why didn't I get a bid posts," I know you guys will say, maybe it's not the sorority, maybe its you. Maybe you're just not meant for a sorority.
I've thought about it again and again, and I really think at this point it was just about numbers, chance, and luck. Even when I did get invited to an invite only event that had 20 people come, the sorority could only take 9 of us.

I'm a pretty social person, know a lot of Greeks, am involved on campus, and have pretty good grades.

What do you guys think about rushing for a third time in the spring during formal? I initially didn't even consider this as an option, but now I'm thinking the exposure to ALL of the sororities again would be helpful (maybe?). I will be a second semester sophomore, which isn't that big of a deal at my school in terms of rush (since we have delayed rush anyway). What do you guys think of PNM's who are returning rushees? Do you view them as desperate/or appreciate their commitment/determination?

[Nanners52674]

Originally Posted by tapuz

So as I'm writing this, I honestly feel really dumb. Not sure why, but maybe it's partially due to the fact that I just went through my first informal recruitment at my school, and have been checking my email since last night to hear back from a sorority only to find out that they emailed out invitations to their preference night last night...so I just wasn't invited.

I went through formal rush last spring, and got invited to two preference nights. Being silly and indecisive I panicked because my first choice dropped me that night and I had absolutely no backup plan in my mind as to what to do...and realized that if I didn't feel 100% ready to commit somewhere else that I should back out. So I did.

Come fall, I had gotten to know many of the girls in sororities that I had met at rush. I was very excited for it because people had told me that when they didn't get bids to where they wanted in the spring they'd come back in the fall and it would always work out for them. I go to a fairly small school with a really small greek community (about 10%), so I didn't think it would be a problem. However, at orientation, I was honestly really surprised at how many girls were there.

In the fall, the sororities can only fill up to their quota, so each sorority could take anywhere from 6-9 girls, which I guess in a sense makes it more competitive.

Anyway, fast forward to the events. Went to the one of my top choice, loved the girls (many of whom I already kind of knew), had a good time, only issue was that it was VERY crowded and loud and I'm really bad at having conversations when it's that loud. After that event ended I felt kind of iffy about my chances because of all the people that were there. I went to another sorority's events, and liked it a lot more because it was quieter and calmer, and everyone was super nice.

The next morning I checked my email to see that the sorority that I loved had not invited me back to their event, while the other sorority had another open event, which I went to with a smile on my face (even though I was still really let down about the other sorority). The next night, I got an email back from the sorority whose event I attended inviting me to their first invite only event. I was so excited! The next night I nervously went, ended up having a fantastic time with the girls, and was really mad at myself for not being excited about this sorority earlier this year, as well as last spring...when they had invited me to their preference night.

Today however, I found out that I was not invited back to their preference night. I'm just thinking about how I once had the opportunity and I didn't take it.

From reading a lot of the "why didn't I get a bid posts," I know you guys will say, maybe it's not the sorority, maybe its you. Maybe you're just not meant for a sorority.
I've thought about it again and again, and I really think at this point it was just about numbers, chance, and luck. Even when I did get invited to an invite only event that had 20 people come, the sorority could only take 9 of us.

I'm a pretty social person, know a lot of Greeks, am involved on campus, and have pretty good grades.

What do you guys think about rushing for a third time in the spring during formal? I initially didn't even consider this as an option, but now I'm thinking the exposure to ALL of the sororities again would be helpful (maybe?). I will be a second semester sophomore, which isn't that big of a deal at my school in terms of rush (since we have delayed rush anyway). What do you guys think of PNM's who are returning rushees? Do you view them as desperate/or appreciate their commitment/determination?

GC doesn't have crystal balls, we don't know you, your school or greek system. I can't tell you what will happen if you go through a 3rd time only that if you don't rush you won't get a bid.

[Missouri Ivy]

I'd do it, especially if your campus isn't one where being a sophomore is a deal breaker. You'll never know unless you give it a try.

[MTSUGURL]

I would go ahead, but without expecting a bid. If you get one (and I hope you do, since you really seem to want this,) AWESOME. I can't remember whether or not I've seen threads end successfully with a third-time recruitment.
And try to work on your ability to have conversations in loud environments. I understand; I have issues with lots of noise and crowds myself.

[chi-o_cat]

Originally Posted by tapuz

From reading a lot of the "why didn't I get a bid posts," I know you guys will say, maybe it's not the sorority, maybe its you. Maybe you're just not meant for a sorority.

Actually, what they would probably say is (and I'm surprised nobody has already), the reason you didn't get a bid was you dropped out of formal recruitment with invites to 2 preference parties left on the table. If you had attended those parties and listed those 2 chapters on your preference card, it's almost certain (unless you're from one of the "special snowflake" kind of schools that does recruitment its own funky way) that would you have received a bid to one of them.

But that's neither here not there at this point, so to answer your question. Yes, try recruitment one more time, but please keep an open mind. If you are cut by your first choice, look at your remaining options with fresh eyes and find something to love there.

Good luck!

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

I can't remember whether or not I've seen threads end successfully with a third-time recruitment.

Yes, there was a fairly recent one that ended with a bid:
Third Time's the Charm! Recruitment Story

[tapuz]

thanks for your responses! i forgot to mention that my school is pretty small, the sororities have like 50 people in each. so people WILL remember me. does that affect your opinions about it?

[DubaiSis]

No. You can still have a good outcome. But you need to spend some quality time thinking about what went wrong. If you have the grades, the friends and the extracurriculars, then you should have been a shoo in. Really think about it and see what you can change. Although it does sound to me that what happened to keep you from joining a sorority was your lack of willingness to do so. As a 3rd time junior rushee, you better be open to your last choice sorority. You'll still have a good experience and a lifetime of membership. But now is the time to put on your big girl pants and accept that you aren't Awesome Alpha material and that there is nothing wrong with Goodenough Gamma.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by tapuz

thanks for your responses! i forgot to mention that my school is pretty small, the sororities have like 50 people in each. so people WILL remember me. does that affect your opinions about it?

Yes.

Don't. Unless you have gotten to be SUPER SUPER CLOSE (I don't mean facebook friends close, I mean talking every day/hanging out regularly close) with a MAJORITY of sisters from one of the groups.

If this is not the case, re-rushing will only embarrass you and put your friends who are members in a difficult situation if they do try to say something positive during membership selection. ("Tapuz? Seriously? Didn't she already go through rush twice and flake out both times? Why should we waste a bid on her?")

Honestly, it sounds like the sororities have already made their decision during COB. Chalk it up to a life lesson learned, and get involved in other activities on campus.

[azureblue]

You have decide if you want to be GREEK...not an XYZ. You had two preference parties the first time...

Since it is a small campus and you know a lot of women, you will need to be extremely open-minded (and prepared if things don't work out) if you decide to go though again. Some chapters may not want to risk bringing you far into FFR if they know that you are only interested in a few chapters.

[tapuz]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Yes.

Don't. Unless you have gotten to be SUPER SUPER CLOSE (I don't mean facebook friends close, I mean talking every day/hanging out regularly close) with a MAJORITY of sisters from one of the groups.

If this is not the case, re-rushing will only embarrass you and put your friends who are members in a difficult situation if they do try to say something positive during membership selection. ("Tapuz? Seriously? Didn't she already go through rush twice and flake out both times? Why should we waste a bid on her?")

Honestly, it sounds like the sororities have already made their decision during COB. Chalk it up to a life lesson learned, and get involved in other activities on campus.

Hi 33girl,

This year I have extracurriculars as well as classes with many girls in sororities, so I'm just going to go with the flow and interact with them as anyone would, not because they're in a sorority.

Also, I didn't flake out both times. Only the first time, the second time I didn't have time to attend all of the sororities events every day because of class, and each one took only about 6 girls out of 60. That time I didn't flake out, just didn't get invited back after a couple of rounds.

[33girl]

You're not picking up what I'm laying down.

Sororities are going to see that you went through twice and didn't get a bid. Period. Unless you are CLOSE FRIENDS (not extracurriculars, not classes, I mean you hang out with these people at non-mandated times of both your own free will) with the MAJORITY of members in a group, that's all they will see.

Rereading your post, I realize that you had a chance to go to all 5 of the groups. So, you only went to two of them (both of whom didn't invite you back) and I'm guessing those two are different than the two whose pref nights you attended last spring (who are probably going to be really reluctant to take another chance on you). That leaves one group. Why do you want to waste your time in formal rush?

[Blue Skies]

On occasion, a third time recruitment works out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.