Would You Be Shocked or Not Shocked

Ok, so on New Years I was hanging out with a "friend" and her sorority sisters. Well one of them works at their nationals and was talking about how some of her co-workers said they wanted to come and visit her old chapter. She said that she told them..." You can come, but you might get offended at stuff you see, meaning drinking with letters and other stuff." Then she went on to say,"ya know there are chapters that are just as worst or bad as we are." They didnt even seem to care. What was more, was that they found out one of their advisors lived down the street from the party that we were at, and they went over to her house (this was New Years at about 12:30am). The advisor answered the door in shock and I knew she could tell theyd be drinking...alot. The tried to play it off as if they hadnt been though. She invited us in and was very nice, talked about XYZ with them and even asked me about joining the local Alum Panhellenic. However, I knew she thought it was kind of wierd and a little disappointed b/c when we left I could tell by the look on her face. They thought it was hilarious and would be a great story to tell their sisters. I thought the whole thing was weird, rude and embarassing.
Would anyone else have been just as shocked as I was to see and hear all of this???

[dzrose93]

UMgirl, you're not the only one to be appalled by that type of behavior. I am definitely shocked by their conduct, especially the part about paying a visit to an advisor at 12:30 in the morning! New Year's or not, you don't just show up at someone's house after midnight unannounced! I hope these girls weren't members of my sorority. I would be very disappointed.

[shadokat]

I hate to say this, but wearing letters and drinking isn't as out of the ordinary as you might think. It happens nearly everywhere unfortunately, and a lot of people claim not to know it's wrong. The best thing to do is try and educate those who are unaware.

As for the advisor thing, that's just nuts!! I'd be shocked by that!

Im not gonna lie, ive done the drinking with my lavalier on (sometimes that how you have to prove that you actually are in XYZ, but when I first joined I was told I shouldnt wear my shirst though). I dont think I was shocked by her saying that they had photos with them drinking with letters, it was more the advisor thing, and the fact that they know their chapter isnt that great of one that does bad things (ive heard about them doing really bad things) and they didnt care. Like it didnt phase them one bit. I think more that it was coming from someone who worked at Nationals.

[dzrose93]

I agree, UMgirl. In our times, we've all probably done a few things that National HQ would raise their eyebrows at and that we probably aren't very proud of to this day. However, sisters who work at National Headquarters are suppose to help set the standards followed by other sisters! If you see a National representative acting stupid while drunk and talking poorly about her chapter, then how does that reflect on the sorority as a whole?

To me, it was very poor judgement on her part to make the comments she did about her chapter, and I would bet that if other National reps learned about it then she would be reprimanded. At least, I hope she would be!

[Tom Earp]

Totally in poor taste! While the young people today do not act as some of us did in the dark ages, there is still the idea of respect to look at! I do not care if they are out drinking with the "LETTERS" on, it is still advertising that we are a great group not totally stupid unless something like this happens! I know I have had some one come by and I put on my robe I was not very cordial!

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Her big mistake was an after midnight visit to the advisor. I wonder if her days working at national are numbered. When I was pledging, I was told that I was a representative of my sorority and that people would judge my sorority based on what I did. This woman seems to have forgotten this.

[33girl]

I know I have posted on this before but the "drinking in letters = sin" thing has not always existed. While I was in school we had chapter consultants and province directors see us go to bars and fraternity parties in our letters, and they never said boo. I think what motivated this policy more than "respect" was schools cracking down on alcohol, especially its association w/ Greek life. IMO if it's a sin to do it in letters, you shouldn't do it at all, and at small schools, everyone knows you are an XYZ letters or not.

As far as the drunken advisor visit, that depends on the advisor's age and what kind of relationship they have with her. If she's fairly young, it might not faze her, and I know if I was that advisor I'd rather they came in to settle down a little rather than be out on the streets with all the New Year's Eve nuts. But if the advisor's a 70 year old grandma, that visit would definitely be over the top.

And there is a big difference between working at nationals and being a national officer. We have a guy, a couple independents and members of other sororities working at ASA's HQ - should I consider them a "representative" of us? Of course not. I would have liked to have heard this girl's actual conversation with her coworkers, since it sounds somewhat taken out of context - just to impress her sisters with how outrageous she was being.

[amycat412]

Well said 33!

When I was in school there was no frowning upon drinking in your letters. We had entire bars at SC that were nothing BUT men and women in their letters drinking.

And if I was an advisor and some of my advisees knocked on my door at 1230 am on NY Eve, well, if I was even home, I'd probably be MORE trashed then they are! ha ha But seriously, I wouldn't mind, would be amused and it would give me the opportunity to get them in my house, feed them, get them sobered up a bit before sending them out again.

[Hootie]

I have an off-the-top question for you all....

Does anyone think there is a difference in drinking in your actual GREEK letters and drinking in a shirt (for example) that just associates you with that Greek Organization.

In other words, is it the same disrespect (in your opinion) to drink in a shirt that says Alpha Beta* or one that reads AB?!?!?!

- just a thought provoking question!

[PhiMuNursie]

Ok, so this is how I see it, take it for what you will. I wear my lovelier all the time, so obviously I'm in my letters no matter the situation. If I go out and know I'm going to have more drinks than acceptable, then I choose another necklace so I won't be wearing my letters. I do not think it's acceptable to be drinking in a shirt, etc. because it's a large display of your organization, since the letters on a tshirt are generally much larger than on a small lovelier. Additionally I don't think it's acceptable to smoke in your letters, no matter if it's a lovelier or tshirt.

In all reality, my fraternity was founded as a social organization, so should I chose to be social and have a drink and also be wearing my lovelier, I don't find any harm in that. Should I become an embarassment, that's another story. And like a previous post said, even though my school is large, most of the people know if you're greek and what chapter you're in whether you're wearing your letters or not.

Ok, like I said, just my opinion and sort of what my chapter goes by.

Tara

Ok, I was there when she said all those things...it was only her, me, and my friend in the room so I didnt take anything out of context. Everything I wrote is what she actually said to the tea. And she didnt care. It was shrugged off.

The advisor had to be in her late 50's and I can tell you even though she dealt with it, she didnt too mcuh care for it. She was entertaining her New Years guest (about 8) at a quiet lil party.

Im not trying to bash XYZ, im just asking how would you feel if you saw this coming from fellow greeks. It shocked me but i know these things happen.

As far as the sisters position at nationals, i think its a normal entry level thing. something theyd hire a collegian for. I know she gets lots of projects and one deals with her working on a email magazine, and she sends out supplies.

[DeltAlum]

Dropping in on anyone unannounced at 12:30 is rude.

In terms of drinking in letters, that really is something we never used to think about at all. In fact, the standing joke was that you weren't even allowed in this one bar on our campus unless you had a frataternity or sorority pin on that flashed the time and temperature.

Of course, in those days, we wore our badges all of the time unless we weren't appropriately dressed.

[33girl]

Originally posted by UMgirl
Ok, I was there when she said all those things...it was only her, me, and my friend in the room so I didnt take anything out of context. Everything I wrote is what she actually said to the tea. And she didnt care. It was shrugged off.

I didn't mean you took it out of context - I meant, that your friend might have been reporting the conversation differently from what actually occurred. Like she might have made it sound like they were all sitting around talking about what big bad girls they were when actually it was not like that at all. Sorry for the confusion

ohhh ok, oops my bad, sorry

but they really are bad, lol