Rec girl going through at Wake Forest this week!

[gee_ess]

I have a rec girl going through recruitment at Wake this week. This has been my first experience with Wake recruitment, so am following her progress closely.

Early in the year, she seemed to think recruitment was a laid back process. Everyone (many) of the pnms are from out of state so it was easy to assume all of the criteria and tidbits associated with southern schools (her mom was an Arkansas Greek) would not apply. But, I wasn't so sure.

I headed to GC for some help on the matter and felt that we needed to be a little more alert during the fall (Wake has Jan recruitment). Talked with the PNM about being AWARE during fall of Greek women in her classes, behavior outside of class, etc.

I never could get anyone to tell me that recs were important (and coming from SEC background, you know what my mindset on that was) but at my insistence, she worked to get one from each house anyway. She lives in the Northeast in an area where Greeks are not on every corner, so this was harder than it sounded.

Then, surprise, the Greek Life office sent out a letter to parents in early December that, among other things, stressed how competitive the process was and that they would have counselors available after recruitment for the girls who end up disappointed. There was quite a bit mentioned about girls getting their hearts set on 'perceived top chapters,' etc. The letter was so candid about this problem that I panicked. No SEC school openly admits (in written correspondence to parents!) that girls are heartsick and need counseling after recruitment! It sounds like the old days at Arkansas and makes me think they must not have RFM?

So, now I am really confused. I cannot wait until my rec girl pledges and can shed some light on their process.

I feel like my rec girl is ready. She has been schooled in all of the finer points of recruitment behavior and (most importantly) recruitment mindset. We have talked about the ultimate goal: finding a home.

Round one is today!

[angels&angles]

Not from Wake, but may be able to shed some light anyway?

It may be because of the deferred recruitment--when PNMs have ALL SEMESTER to listen to tent talk / get to know girls / idolize the "top tier" groups, getting cut hurts a lot more, because you can't chalk it up to only having a 10-minute conversation.

It does surprise me that they're so open about it, but good for them I guess. My (admittedly limited) experience with deferred recruitment is that rec letters matter less because fall term acts as a rec.

[DubaiSis]

With RFM, the girl's chance of getting A sorority increases, but it doesn't help getting into a particular chapter. And I think this is an increased problem with deferred recruitment, that the rushees know sorority women and assume that because they're friends, they're in. The sorority women are enthusiastic and encouraging, which is misinterpreted, and I think this may be even greater reason for counseling after the fact. You not only feel rejected, but you've been rejected by your FRIENDS. That's got to be an even harder pill to swallow.

I don't think competitive and recs necessarily go hand in hand (and man oh man I wish we could get rid of them and/or their importance in the process) but I still contend that having them is better than not having them, even if they don't affect the outcome. I'd say you did well to encourage her to get them no matter what.

[FSUZeta]

Good luck to your rec. girl, gee_ess.

[SouthernPhiMu]

I had a good friend from my hometown go through recruitment at Wake several years ago, and she kept in touch with me throughout the whole process, since I was already a member (at another school) she hoped I might be able to give her a few pointers. I may be slightly biased in this description, but she is very attractive, and incredibly smart. She had a lot of high school ec's, and a few ec's at Wake. However, she did not have any recommendations, as she had been told they were not necessary.

I won't go into great detail, but after the first round she was cut heavily and decided that greek life wasn't for her. I've heard that one or two chapters struggle to make quota because the PNM's do judge heavily based on "tiers" and perceived reputations. When PNM's only receive invites from the "less desirable" chapters they would rather just drop out than see them for the wonderful organizations that they are!

All in all, I don't think recs are absolutely necessary to recieve A bid, but it may not be THE bid your rec girl is hoping for. If she is willing to keep an open mind, she will more than likely find a home. I would say that recs certainly can't hurt.

[greekdee]

Well, I have a long-time friend whose daughter attended Wake. I believe she was there from 2005-2009. My friend is a Kappa Delta, but her lovely daughter never had an interest in Greek Life. However, my friend was visiting her daughter in her dorm one day -- and it just happened to be right before pref.

I remember her telling me that she had never seen anything like it. A large number of girls on her daughter's hall were sobbing due to disappointing results in their recruitment. She said everywhere you looked, it was heartbreak and that she and her daughter were going room-to-room consoling some of the PNMs. SO -- I do have it from an eyewitness that recruitment was quite rough, at least a few years ago. Judging from the recent letter sent to parents, it sounds like it still can be.

It sounds like your PNM was well prepared, though. I think that insisting she get recs was a wise move on your part and I'm glad she heeded it. Hopefully, she is also heeding your advice to keep an open mind. Wishing her all the best!

[adpimiz]

Good luck to her!

[Musicwalksuhome]

I graduated from Wake in 2008. Things have changed some from then but if anyone has any questions feel free to PM me.

[honeychile]

Please keep us posted - I'm terribly interested in a Wake Forest recruitment!

[MaggieXi]

My cousin graduated from Wake a year or two ago and she was heavily involved in Panehllenic. She had told me in the past that recs are needed for the more selective chapters, but many girls can obtain a bid without a rec. However, she would always recommend getting recs. Due to the geographic make up of the student body, there are some PNMs who have been groomed to be in a sorority their entire life that attend Wake and then PNMs who never paid much attention or didn't really know what a sorority was who decide to rush, and then there is everything in between. Wake is competitve in its own right, especially the more selective chapters. Not an all around competitiveness like SEC recruitment.

I don't think the letter that Greek Life sent out is necessarily a bad thing. I believe it is intended more for the parents of PNMs who have little to no knowledge of recruitment. Letting them know that this is an emotional experience and that the school acknowledges it and wants to support the PNM. Elon, which is not far from Wake and has certain Panhellenic similarities, has always had counselors on hand during the recruitment process - at bid signing and bid day, back to when I went through recruitment in 1997.

[LaneSig]

Here's the letter to parents and pnms on Wake Forest's website:

http://parents.wfu.edu/category/greek-life/

[kateee]

I think the letter was well written, and a great idea. Sometimes, parent's don't know how to comfort their children. They don't know what to say or do to help the situation. I liked it.

[gee_ess]

Just heard from my rec girl (via mom) and she was cut from two of her favorites. She was surprised but has rallied. I talked to her mom and gave advice for their phone conversation that will take place tonight after her parties end. (wonderful tips that have been espoused on this site for years!).

Thanks for the wonderful comments above. Can't wait to see how tomorrow goes!

Also, just clicked on LaneSig's link and it is a recap of Day 2. I think this is a GREAT way to communicate the process with parents and friends! Love this!

[FSUZeta]

Fingers crossed for your rec. girl!

[greekdee]

I went to the link as well and it's really great. There is also some very good advice that could be applied to any recruitment. I especially like the part about "manage your expectations."