...and a minority (Asian), and a non-legacy. I'm worried the odds are rather stacked against me. Here's my story:
I have wanted to rush ever since I was about eight years old. God knows how I knew what a sorority was back then, but I knew it was a place where women formed lifelong friendships, and as a kid going through that whole "my friends keep making fun of me" bullying situation, that sounded pretty darn good to me. Panhellenic life has been sort of a dream for me. Somewhere in thee depths of my old notebooks, I've still got that "What do you want to be when you grow up?" paper from elementary school with my squiggly attempts at Greek letters scrawled on it.
Unfortunately, my parents almost massacred me when I tried to go to college in the South. I was forbidden from going to an out-of-state college, and I live on the West Coast, essentially crushing my dreams of typical Panhellenic sorority life right there. My college only has three Panhellenic sororities on campus. No houses, either. But still, freshman year, I was absolutely giddy when a girl chased me down in the quad to hand me a Recruitment flier and said, "You look like someone who would really be interested in Greek life." I practically floated to class- the eight-year-old in my head was jumping up and down and yelling "They know! They know!"
I spent the months before recruitment sifting through my closet, scouring the internet for tips and tricks, and learning to be the Best Me I Can Be. I secured a copy of my high school transcript, saying a silent prayer of thanks for my AP classes that allowed for a 3.5 GPA. I perfected my makeup, devoured four etiquette books cover-to-cover, and mastered the art of trekking around campus in five-inch heels in preparation for nights when the dress code said "semi-formal". Registering for recruitment was worse than college applications for me- college is for four years (five or six if you're unlucky). Sororities are for life.
Come recruitment, I spent forever in my closet, agonizing over the outfit I had laid out the night before. I finally forced myself to call it quits on the primping and was just about to leave when my roommate came home. I talked her into coming along, she got dressed, and we departed.
Day One went well. As I mentioned, there were three sororities on my campus- I'm a fashion major, so we'll call them Chanel, Betsey Johnson, and Juicy Couture. The girls in all three houses were impossibly glamorous, composed, sweet, and just all-around amazing. I had a great time with all of them, but found that I had more in common with the girls at Chanel and Betsey than I did with the girls at Juicy. My roommate preferred Betsey and Juicy, though she was open to Chanel too. We liked all of them, though, and I left with a giant grin on my face. What was the panic about? Recruitment was AWESOME! I had even made friends with three other PNMs, all of whom had the same preferences as me. We clicked instantly, and I found myself daydreaming about being sisters with these girls.
Day Two, I showed up with my roommate in tow. We met the chapters again, and they discussed the financial obligations. I was worried, since the two chapters I liked slightly better were significantly pricier than the other. My parents had assured me that any cost would be fine, however, so I decided not to worry too much. This was the first night we had to rank our top choices, and I wrote all three on my paper. Chanel first, Betsey second, and Juicy third. We were told that we would get a call if any of the houses cut us, and I barely slept a wink that night. Some time around three in the morning, I realized I wasn't getting a phone call. The warm-and-fuzzies absolutely took over my body. I sat there grinning like an idiot, reveling in the fact that girls as glamorous as the ones I had met last night might actually want me.
Day Three, I woke up a bit late and dressed in a hurry. I wasn't certain about my outfit the way would have liked to be, but there wasn't enough time to change. I ran to campus (and into a pole on the way, trying to text my Rho Gam that I might be a tiny bit late) and got my list of chapters that I would be visiting that day. I was illogically convinced that the Recruitment Chair was going to politely pull me aside and say that there had been a mistake and none of the chapters wanted me. But no, when I got my paper, I was elated to see that all of the houses had called me back! The warm-and-fuzzies returned, and I floated about that day. The chapters explained their philosophies. All of them sounded so passionate in their presentations! The songs were stuck in my head for weeks after. I fell deeper in love with Chanel and Betsey. One girl at Chanel even hugged me and whispered, "You're seriously my dream Little!" Juicy was alright. I really loved some of the girls I met, but conversation seemed a bit forced at times. One of the girls actually point-blank told us "I have no idea what to talk about right now" and just stood there looking at us for a few minutes. Awkward. For rankings that night, I put Chanel first and Betsey second. I hesitated to even put Juicy down at all, but decided that I loved their passion for their sorority and wrote them down third. Again, no phone call that night. Yay yay yay! My roommate started to feel ill, so I choked down the pep and spent the night trying to help her get better.
Day Four, I came back and was somewhat devastated to find that only Juicy had asked me back. Um, what? I know that the girl at Chanel had practically dirty Little'd me, and I know that was probably frowned upon, but come on. Was that reason to cut a girl? What else could have gone wrong? And what about Betsey? Sure, I was just about the only Asian in a room full of blondes, but I had felt really at home there. The girls had fawned over my jacket, and tentative plans had been made to go to Disneyland together. My roommate had the same results and left, swearing she didn't feel good. I attended the Juicy ceremony partially stunned and a little deflated. I put it out of my mind. Their ceremony really was beautiful, and I started to feel like maybe I could belong with them. They were really sweet girls, after all. I wrote their name on top of my ranking list that night, though part of me still wished bitterly that I could write Chanel or Betsey instead. There was no phone call that night, which meant that I knew my future already. Juicy Couture, here I come!
Day Five was bid day. On my way to class, I ran into the Panhellenic girls setting up in the quad. The Chanel girl who had semi-claimed me as her Little gave me this apologetic/sad pout and a small wave. I bit my lip and forced the negativity away. Whatever had happened, I could not receive a bid from Chanel, and so there was no use sulking. Bid Day was supposed to be exciting, and dammit, I was going to have fun! As predicted, I received a bid from Juicy. My roommate and the three girls I had befriended all had the same. I was excited- they had it set up so we got our bids in one spot on campus then all ran together to where the chapters were set up in the quad, and when it was time to run I was among the first to reach the girls in the quad! I was utterly excited to be a part of this screaming, jumping, ecstatic group of girls. Juicy for life! Everything was great! YAY!
But the following morning, when I called my mom and told her which sorority I had gotten a bid from, my announcement was met with a long silence. "Oh, sweetie," she said. "It's so expensive." And that was that. With my brother unexpectedly in his fifth year of college and my third roommate MIA (she stopped calling back two weeks before move in, which ended in my rent being more than doubled), Panhellenic life had been ruled an impossibility. I cringed, wishing they had told me this before. I had just spent a whole night falling in love with this chapter, and now it wasn't going to happen. After that phone call, I spent weeks trying to get a job to pay for it myself but couldn't. The deadline to depledge was approaching quickly, and with a heavy heart, I sent in my official letter of resignation. I truly and literally spent the night crying myself to sleep, and I am NOT a crier. I hadn't cried since I was fourteen, when I simultaneously broke my wrist and ankle falling out of a tree. But I cried like a baby that night.
Since then, several girls at Chanel and Betsey have come up and said that they heard I had to depledge and hoped I would re-rush again. I have been hunting fiercely for a job to help pay (though my brother will be out of college by next Fall), I've further perfected my makeup (foundation is a wonderful thing that I wish I used earlier), joined a few volunteer programs (beefing up that Leadership Roles section of the recruitment registration), and am planning on having a professional photographer take pictures for my recruitment registration profile picture (I used a photo from my Senior Prom because it was the most recent photo I had, which was probably a bad idea). I also will be hunting recommendation letters- several of my friends have chapters of Chanel and Betsey Johnson at their schools, and I'm nervously awaiting an introduction. The goal is two for each of the three chapters. I know it will be difficult to get even one, but I'm hoping for two to make up for the fact that I will be a sophomore when I go through recruitment again.
Based off of this information, can y'all tell me what my odds are of receiving a bid as a sophomore and what I need to do to improve those odds? Please help me; Panhellenic life has been a dream of mine since I was little and I can't imagine life without it!
Advice is much appreciated, and thank you for reading my massively huge post
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