My Spouse will have to have............

exquizit · #1 12-01-2001, 12:58 AM

Stability
Patience
Understanding
Equipment

ambition

What will YOURS have to have?

Diva1722 · #2 12-01-2001, 01:53 AM

1.understanding
2.ambition
3.compassion
4.stability
5.morals
6.sense of adventure
7.sense humor
8.kind hearted
AND A JOB

Ideal08 · #3 12-01-2001, 12:53 PM

desire for kids
sense of humor
patience
job or school
rhythm
ethics/morals/values similar (if not the same) to mine
some type of spiritual foundation (not too different from mine)
passion
understanding
compassion
libido compatible with mine
desire to have fun
willingness to travel
desire to uplift his community

skeeliteful · #4 12-01-2001, 02:18 PM

I pretty much wouldn't ask any more of my man than I would of myself. but here's pretty much what I would like in a husband (trust me, i could go on and on...):

1. sense of humor (this is a MUST if he wants to get along with me and my family)
2. honesty
3. compassion/unconditional love
4. intelligence
5. morals/views/ethics compatible with mine
6. wants children
7. has a hobby (besides playstation and chillin w/his boys)
8. a spiritual foundation
9. loves to travel
10. ambitious

korkscru · #5 12-01-2001, 06:57 PM

Yes, Ladies, I remember WANTING all of those qualities in a husband. And my husband is a WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL man. He's very, very good to me. But there's ONE thing that I didn't see any of you guys list and that one thing is...POTENTIAL.

Ladies, BELIEVE me, no matter how good the guy is, if he doesn't have POTENTIAL to be all of those things (or atleast some of those things) that you listed, then you'll be single for the rest of your lives. You see, with men, I believe that you have to be able to look BEYOND what he's showing at present. I tell my best friend this all of the time because, to me, she seems to be expecting to much up front from a potential mate. Whenever you do that almost ANYONE that could be a good husband is passed over.

For example, you've been dating this guy and you KNOW that he is essentially a good guy. He is ambitious, patient, humble, caring, sensative, and all of that. BUT...he's not "college-educated", OR he currently says that he does not want children, OR he doesn't have any hobbies, OR he doesn't have a strong spiritual foundation, OR he doesn't have a big "ding-dong"

...what do you do? YOU WORK WITH HIM. That's what you do. He's not college-educated, but he has a high position on his job and he's continually moving up. He doesn't have any hobbies, but he's interested in certain things that could be seen as hobbies. He presently says that he doesn't want children, but he's good with children plus he's never had any reason to want children in the first place. He doesn't have a strong spiritual foundation, but YOU do and he has a "willing" spirit. He doesn't have a big penis, but he's romantic and commited to satifying you sexually. LADIES, WE HAVETO HELP THESE MEN.

Lots of good men fall through the cracks because we set our expectations/standards SOOO high that they can't possibly reach them.

Now don't get me wrong, don't just settle for ANYBODY. And believe me, if God hadn't given me the ability to see my husband's potential, I probably wouldn't have married him. But I'm oh sooo glad that I did because he's better to me now as a husband than he was as a boyfriend.

I am deeply in love with my husband, but THAT ain't the ONLY reason that I married him...AND YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT.

ClassyLady · #6 12-02-2001, 12:40 PM

He will definitely have to have

Sense of Humor
Belief in God
Ambition
Intelligence
Employment
Respect for me
Patience
Compassion
Trust

Ideal08 · #7 12-03-2001, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by korkscru
Yes, Ladies, I remember WANTING all of those qualities in a husband. And my husband is a WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL man. He's very, very good to me. But there's ONE thing that I didn't see any of you guys list and that one thing is...POTENTIAL.

I have to agree with you, there, korkscru!! This is a very good point. I don't know, I guess I see some things as a given, and this was one of them.

#1 Leading Lady · #8 12-03-2001, 12:21 PM

Everything ya'll said but with a good "Crankier"

BLUTANG · #9 12-03-2001, 05:00 PM

I concur with most of the things previously listed.

My husband also needs to have a background similar to mine. I do not want to deal with someone who isn't used to having anything, nor do i want to try to "keep up" with my in-laws and his side of the family. Even though what is meant to last will last, I think that having a comprable past as individuals is a pretty good foundation for a successful future together as as family. Also to Madame korkscru, thanks for your words of wisdom! I'll keep the radar on for a brotha with potential as i continue to enjoy the single life!

korkscru · #10 12-03-2001, 06:11 PM

Thanks Blutang (I think?).

I realize that I may be in the minority here. But I wasn't ALWAYS. It's just that with age comes wisdom and maturity (for most), as you all know. I just see A LOT of things differently than I saw them when I was in my early- or mid-twenties.

Now I would have been alright if I had stayed single. But, as a counselor by profession, I had to learn (and it didn't happen over night) that I'm human too and I definitely have my deficits and issues. Now I'm asking myself (knowing my personality and all that my husband has witnessed during our courtship) that if I were him, would I have married me? And I'm NOT putting myself down in ANY way. Apparently I met most of my husband's requirements, right?

My friend and I were talking about this topic last night and she, although single, kinda understands BOTH sides of the coin (as do I). I mean, I certainly wouldn't marry someone who is abusive or an athiest or lazy or untrustworthy or a playboy or anything like that.

My point is EXPECT for your potential mate to be missing SOMETHING.

And guys, please don't think that I'm an "old foggie". I'm only 32 years-old, but with a lot of stuff under my belt.

CkretCrush8 · #11 12-03-2001, 08:28 PM

FIRST and FOREMOST ~ a relationship with JESUS
Like Faith
Kind
Compassionate
Giving
Loving
Understanding
Musically Inclined
Ability to Articulate
Intelligence/Knowledge/Skill
Stability (emotionally, financially, spiritually)
Respect (for me, for himself, and definitely others)
Cooperation

Wonderful1908 · #12 12-03-2001, 09:48 PM

Patience
Sense of humor
Equipment
To see the long term
Flexibilty
6 ft and up
Good teeth

CkretCrush8 · #13 12-03-2001, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Wonderful1908
Good teeth

Definitely a must

littlelady · #14 12-04-2001, 12:36 AM

My husband has to have......

stability
sense of humor
intelligence
love for life
unconditional love for me
God fearing
a J-O-B

has to be honest and trustworthy
class
morals

AKA2D '91 · #15 12-04-2001, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by korkscru
[B]Thanks Blutang (I think?).

I realize that I may be in the minority here. But I wasn't ALWAYS. It's just that with age comes wisdom and maturity (for most), as you all know. I just see A LOT of things differently than I saw them when I was in my early- or mid-twenties.

/B]

I FEEL YA/ HEAR YA!

It's the sho' 'nuff truth!