Joining a Frat

[Mikey102682]

wassup guys? i have wanted to join a frat since i was a little kid. i haven't cared much about the stereotypes, i know that it would be ignorant to assume that an entire establishment was bad because of a few bad people. so, despite all my friends (and families) concerns, i want to join a frat now more than ever. i am a hs senior and i will be atending cornell university in the fall. i am an only child, so i have no older bro's to tell me about rush and all that, i am clueless about where to begin. what exactly is rush all about? what is life like as a member? is it better to belong to a local frat or a national frat? and, is there anything i should be doing at this time, or this summer to get ready? i really want to know more about the whole system so if you guys could answer my questions, i would really appreciate it. feel free to make comments or give me some pointers about where to being and what to expect. but the most important thing about fraternities to me(more for the folks, really) right now is the cost. what estimate should i give my parents? and with my school being so expensive, should i just forget about joining altogether? thanks guys.

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Mike

[Hootie]

Okay gentlemen, let's give this guy some good advice. I would but sorority recruitment is different.
Hootie

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What do you get when you cross and Alpha Omicron Pi and a Sigma Phi Epsilon? A beautiful Chi Omega!!!

[Bro2B]

Hey,

I'm not an active yet, but I'm a pledge right now of a national fraternity. My advice to give to you about rush, and I'm sure other people will agree. Be yourself. Not every fraternity will be the right one for you, and chapters of fraternities are different from campus to campus. For instance, ABC fraternity might be a very strong chapter with great members at Big State U. but completely different at Cornell.

Rush is usually where you feel out the members. Remember rush is very fake. They are trying to present the best image of their fraternity they can to prospective pledges. Talk to different fraternities, especially since you don't really have a preference for one it seems. Go with the one you feel like you can be yourself and you feel welcome there. Don't go with a fraternity just because of its reputation with the girls you see at rush events (because truthfully, they're probably 'groupies' so to speak, of that particular fraternity-why else would they be at a rush event). So of course the girls at rush events are going to say that the particular fraternity is awesome - great guys, great everything. Ask girls around campus you know and trust if the opinion of the ladies matters to you.

The general rule I've heard is if you have to ask, you probably can't afford it. But dues usually aren't too expensive, if you can't afford them but you can manage your time well, you can always get a job while you're pledging. It depends on the person. Good luck

[Corbin Dallas]

Ok, here's the skinny. As was mentioned before, rush is fake, not only because the chapters are trying to schmooze you, but there are certain things that can't be talked about or done, such as drinking, during rush, according to either the school, nationals, or both. Also, fraternities aren't allowed, at least at my school, to talk about other houses, period. Rush is a great time to make friends that are upperclassmen though. If you feel that it was "too fake" don't sign a bid right away, keep hanging out with the guys you thought were cool from rush, and you'll see what it's really like.

as far as cost, my freshman year was the only year that it actually cost money, because of paying for school on top of dues. However, the last two years, I've more than saved that much money. It's sooo much cheaper, at least here, to live in the house, than in the dorms, and it's much better too! NIC rush is different at just about every school. There aren't really any national guidelines that everyone follows, at least nothing like NPC rush.

Hope this answers any questions, and doesn't discourage you. It's the best thing i ever did!

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Steve Corbin
Lambda Chi Alpha
Theta Kappa Chapter
Rose-Hulman Inst. of Tech.

[WittenbergLCA18]

Hey Mikey,

You ask alot of really great questions. First of all let me say it is great that you are interested in joining a fraternity. It's also refreshing to hear that you can already get past many of the untrue stereotypes that exist about the greek system.

Joining a national fraternity has it's advantages over a local frat in many respects. First, there are many many more brothers with whom you can network when you join a national. Also, there is vast support from the national headquarters when it comes to finances, housing, leadership training, proper risk management, and more universal recognition.

Joining a frat is a really amazing experience. It has changed my life forever. A big part of joining a frat is rushing. During rush you get the opportunity to learn all about the houses and the guys who make up their membership. It is a really great time to learn about the focus of the house, it's yearly activities, and most importantly the cost and requirements of membership. This is the best time to ask questions. Fraternities, along with being social organizations, are business and thus they will "sell" themselves to you. They will only tell you specifics if you ask (i.e. costs and such).

Before and during rush the best advice I can give you is to be yourself. There is nothing to prepare for. The rush process seeks to match you up with the house that is right for you, and the only way this is effective is if you act just as you normally would. You might want to remember that you might not fit in at the house that all of your friends do, but that this is ok. First and foremost, just be yourself.

Joining a frat has many great advantages. As a member you get the benefits of a positive social experience, brotherhood, and extensive leadership and networking opportunities. These are things that should be explained to you during rush.

The financial aspect of joining a fraternity is one that should not be underemphasised. When you join, you agree to paying your dues fully and promptly. In my chapter I only pay $340 a semester, but this varies greatly from chapter to chapter and fraternity to fraternity. Be sure you ask up front about all costs. Also check to see whether your dues include such items as tickets to formal, t-shirts, party favors, and other associated costs. You also shouldn't let the cost necessarily deter you from joining. Many frats have payment plans which can spread out your dues and make them more affordable.

I would encourage you just to ask as many questions as possible during your rush experience. Also, if you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail me with any questions you may have. I hope this has helped.

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wittcollegeguy@hotmail.com


[This message has been edited by WittenbergLCA18 (edited April 09, 2001).]

[IowaHawkeye]

i'm very proud of you guys! that was excellent advice

[pikeks109]

I have an active memeber of my fraternity for about a year. I'm really glad that you decided to go greek but before you do this you should think about some other things. For instance, money. Money isn't much of a problem for me but for some others it is. Some of my brothers are in debt by a few hundred dollars so before you pledge you should have some money tucked away or have a job. Second, grades, we all go to college to get an education and that is your primary priority. Make sure that you can balance your grades with pledging, cuz pledging takes a good amount of time from studies. I talk from experience, I didn't do too well during my 1st semester because of pledging and I'm trying to catch up because of it. So thats my bit of advice and good luck with pledging!

[DeltAlum]

Hello Mikey,

I strongly echo the words of my Brother Greeks above.

You may want to take a look at www.nicindy.org, the website of the National Interfraternity Council. There is a section for you and your parents about joining a fraternity.

Also, probably every national fraternity has a website. Delta Tau Delta's is www.delts.org. There is a miriad of information for you and your parents. From there, you can also link to the Beta Omicron Chapter at Cornell.

Most other fraternity website address will be something like that -- some permutation of their Greek Letters or nickname. For instance, www.sigmachi.com. (I'm not sure that's an actual URL, just using it as an example)

The single most important piece of advice I can give is to choose well. Be sure the men of the chapter are ones with which you are compatible. Remember, once you're initiated, you're a member for life.

And with that in mind, once you graduate, remember to be prepared to give something back to the fraternity as a mentor or alumni advisor. The committment you make is lifelong, and so are the benefits.

Be ready for a lot of work -- and a lot of fun. And by ready for friendships which will last forever.

Best of luck to you.

Fraternally,
DeltAlum

[Lil_G]

Hey Mike,

You've received a lot of excellent advice from the members here so I'm not gonna say too much on this subject.

One thing I would like to reiterate is that as a new student the fraternities will expect you to not know a lot about fraternities. There are NO dumb questions, feel free to ask as many as you like - the groups will be more than happy to answer all of them.

Take your time in deciding who you want to pledge. As Corbin mentioned, if your unsure with who you want to rush just give yourself some more time to think it over. Pledging into your second semester or your second or third year is irrelevant in the long run.

Even if you do pledge and then decide this group is not for you, you can depledge and then pledge another fraternity. Lastly, I would like to stress for you to rush as many groups as possible, check out every group - each has it's own unique style and image.

Nick Gagnon
President
Lambda Chi Omega Fraternity
University of Ottawa

[newbie]

Hi Mikey!

I'm a girl, so I really don't know too much about the fraternity rush process, so I can't help you there! But as a fellow HS student, I'd like to wish you good luck in whichever frat you choose!! Just follow your heart!! You sound really cool, so I bet you'll end up at an awesome frat . GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

Oh yeah, Cornell is an awesome school! Congratulations on getting in!! I hope you have a great time there!!

[This message has been edited by newbie (edited April 09, 2001).]

[PenguinTrax]

John,

Could you move this topic to the Rush forum? Feel free to keep it open here, too.

Barbara
Rush Forum Moderator

[This message has been edited by PnguinTrax (edited April 09, 2001).]

[Ideal08]

Originally posted by WittenbergLCA18:
wittcollegeguy@hotmail.com

Sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled program....

But I HAD to say SOMETHING when I saw another Witt student on here!!!!!!! That is RARE! YAY!! I'm not a student, I'm an Alum now, but I still have MUCH love for Wittenberg!!! Go Tigers!!!

Ok, I'm done now. Back to our regularly scheduled program.

[Tom Earp]

Mikey, you got some GREAT advice from several of my fellow Brothers. While I do not know them personally, I have talked to one on the phone. These Brothers are not the only ones who I keep in touch with. That is called Brotherhood.

That is one thing to keep in the back of your mind, as when you graduate, you are still a member of that Fraternity for life. At least that is the way it is in Lambda Chi Alpha. I am 59 and still work with my chapter and the International.

You need to feel comfortable with whom ever you associate with and vice versa.
I wish you the very best in your endevor but please Go Greek. I learned more from my experiences as a Greek in college than I did in 7 yrs as an undergrad.

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Tom Earp LX Z#1
Pittsburg State U. (Kansas)

[Mikey102682]

thanks you guys, it was cool of you to answer all these questions for me. it has really helped me a whole lot. this support just reinforces my reasons for wanting to pledge. thanks again guys. later.

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Mike

[N2]

Mike,

DANGER!!!!!!!!
"Even if you do pledge and then decide this group is not for you, you can depledge and then pledge another fraternity........"

Not always. My chapter would not touch anyone who has pledged another chapter. No ifs, and, or but about it. Granted, it would differ at every chapter. Just be aware that your choices may be limited if you were to make the wrong decision and want to try again.

Now for my rush speech. There are a few “life sayings” that are true when it comes to selecting a Fraternity. They are:

You usually get what you pay for.
Just like computer code, shit in - shit out.
If it were easy, everyone would do it.
Do not ever be afraid of buying the very best, you will always be happy with it.

You need to find out the personalities of each fraternity that you consider. If they will let you, look at their photo albums. Make a note of the things that they do that you are into. Get to know the fraternities before rush starts. Once rush begins most are putting on a show and competing with the other chapters. You will get the truest picture by waiting a semester, but if you can’t then get on it early. You will find fraternities range from little more than a club too the really intense. You need to be honest with yourself about where you fit into this scale. If you are a middle of the road guy, then you will be miserable at either end of the spectrum. I am certainly far right on the scale, so that is where my knowledge and perspective is from. In my Chapter Brotherhood is a life altering event. It becomes part of your soul. If you pick the right fraternity, it will be the best decision that you will make in your lifetime.