Exboyfriends and their new Girlfriends

maggieaxid · #1 11-12-2001, 04:06 PM

Ok, so this weekend was homecoming at my former alma matre. and i ran into my exboyfriend and his new girlfriend who now goes to school there (he graduated last year and she is a junior) and i realized that she was not very attractive and that the whole time i was there he was always right there next to me. Does that mean anything? (not that i want it too, but i was just wondering).

Wine&Blue · #2 11-12-2001, 06:09 PM

It means he's lowered his standards!

G8Ralphaxi · #3 11-12-2001, 08:05 PM

...stay away! Stay far, far away!!!

REASON #1:
You are no longer in school together. Long distance relationships S U C K. Trust me, I'm here in Florida thinking about a wonderful wonderful guy in Chicago right now. And we don't have complications like your situation (See Reasons # 2, 3, etc.)

REASON #2:
He's an EX for a reason. Either you dumped him or he dumped you.

If you dumped him, why did you? Chances are, those characteristics have not fundamentally changed. Believe me, as stressful as it is to break up with someone, breaking up with them again, for pretty much the same reasons, is even more horrible.

If he dumped you, screw him! Don't waste your time with a guy who failed to see how special you are.

REASON #3:
See previous post. He's lowered his standards. You are clearly too good for him. You wouldn't want to be the girl right after this one.

REASON #4:
There is another girl involved. Two possibilities: either she's nice or she's a b****.

If she's nice, then don't go after her man. That's mean. Although maybe you should warn her about him.

If she's a b****, then don't go after her man! She's likely to come after you...this is trouble that you do not want. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...

Good luck and don't stress. There are plenty of wonderful guys out there. Come to Gainesville and I can introduce you to some of my sweetie guy friends. One of them loves to cook!

TFJ,

G8Ralphaxi

alphaxidelta12 · #4 11-12-2001, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by G8Ralphaxi
...stay away! Stay far, far away!!!

If you dumped him, why did you? Chances are, those characteristics have not fundamentally changed. Believe me, as stressful as it is to break up with someone, breaking up with them again, for pretty much the same reasons, is even more horrible.

If he dumped you, screw him! Don't waste your time with a guy who failed to see how special you are.

I completely agree....as great as it seems to think things would perfect if you started talking again, the past is still always there. i know people say: just forget it, its in the past, but unfortunately for most people its not that simple. the reasons you broke up will still be on both of your minds and would only complicate anything you want to try to work out. This only makes the relationship strained and a lot more difficult to keep. Well, thats what happened to me anyways. Good luck w/ all of this.

tfj
nicole

ErikaXO · #5 11-12-2001, 11:42 PM

I have been on both sides of this coin. I went out with the same guy all through high school and into the beginning of college. I wanted out at the end of 12th grade, but he refused to go away. I won't go into all the details, but he was such a psycho that it was just easier for me to let him think he was still around and just cheat on him. Anyway, I wanted rid of him so desperately that when he finally decided to transfer to a school in Colorado, I was in celebration mode. I was free! And then when I finally got him to agree to date other people and he started seeing this little chickiedoo who was the total opposite of me, I admit I had a couple of pangs. But I got over it REAL quick!!!!! A lot of times it is just ego getting in the way. You don't want them, but you don't want them to not want you!!!

On the flip side, my hubby had an ex who was a total skeez. She took advantage of him at every turn, cheated on him repeatedly, and still didn't learn when he took her back. They continued to see each other as "exes" up until he and I started hanging out, at which point he cut her off abruptly. Once she realized that I was in and she was out, suddenly she wanted him more than anything in the world. She followed him around, dropped by to see him all the time, refused to give him his stuff back and refused to take her stuff back (he finally distributed her clothes to anyone who wanted them and threw all her pictures in the trash) and even followed the two of us around at parties, sobbing on her friends' shoulders when he would touch me or kiss me. He got to the point where he just refused to even speak to her because of her silly games, and I was ready to knock her skull in!!! The bottom line is, no matter how attractive he seems to you now, if he is really into this girl, you cannot win. You will only further estrange yourself from him if you mess with his relationship and she may be the "kick a$$ first, ask questions later" type. (Immature, but oftern effective.)

Ex means ex.....it is almost always best to leave it be....

maggieaxid · #6 11-13-2001, 09:57 AM

Its not that I would want to get back together or anything bc i am in an awesome non-dysfunctional relationship now....i just want to know why every time i turned around he was right there!
two examples:
i sat down with some of my sisters at the game and a bunch of his brothers who were older sat behind us. there was PLENTY of room on the row with his bros and the row infront of us. and he comes and sits down next to me with his new girlfriend. which i thought was kinda weird, like A. why isn't he sitting with HER sisters or B. Why isn't he sitting with people from his class or the rest of his frat. and then he kept like talking to me and ignoring her.
second example: at the game, (you can't smoke inside the actual stadium, you have to go out to the hallway) one of my sisters wanted to go have a cigarette and so did i, so i got out my cigarettes and my ex asks me for one, so i just gave him one and left with my sister. and we went to this obscure place bc she saw some of her students that she teaches (she is student teaching). well he came and FOUND us, but just stood there, he never really said anything.
its just weird.

ErikaXO · #7 11-13-2001, 10:47 AM

Oh well in that case it is obvious.....he is trying to get a reaction out of you. He is probably trying to make you jealous. Avoid the loser. Or confront him....if he does it again just be like, "So what next, are you going to join me in the crapper?"

KillarneyRose · #8 11-13-2001, 01:23 PM

Sounds like a sorry attempt to show you how very, very happy he is without you there and he doesn't miss you because he has this great new chick, yada yada yada...

Reminds me of when my ex-before my husband dropped in to visit my Mom and sister and just happened to have with him an 8x10 glossy faceshot of his new girlfriend who just happened to be Miss Vermont and he just happened to "accidently" leave it at their house I guess hoping I'd "accidently" see it

dzrose93 · #9 11-13-2001, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
Sounds like a sorry attempt to show you how very, very happy he is without you there and he doesn't miss you because he has this great new chick, yada yada yada...

Reminds me of when my ex-before my husband dropped in to visit my Mom and sister and just happened to have with him an 8x10 glossy faceshot of his new girlfriend who just happened to be Miss Vermont and he just happened to "accidently" leave it at their house I guess hoping I'd "accidently" see it

Ohhhhh, he didn't!!

How completely obvious and pathetic is that?

XO_Princess · #10 11-14-2001, 02:20 PM

During my bf's Alum weekend, I was introduced to my ex's current girlfriend, who seemd really sweet, except, when I met her I couldn't stop laughing (I blamed it on being drunk

)-she had these really poofy, high bangs and when she opened her mouth to say hi, she had a mouthful of braces. Really a nice girl, but I couldn't stop laughing. Then-at the party that night, my ex like, left her in the kitchen and came outside and sat with me, and told me that he still loved me, and would I meet him the next day? I was like-No you don't, and No way in hell!!

James · #11 11-14-2001, 02:38 PM

I think what you are really asking, is for us to reveal what would be a very special truth: That your ex still secretly likes you, regrets that the relationship ever ended, and is only going out with the new girl as a surrogate in the hopes of getting you back

.

That further, he knows he was wrong before and would give almost anything to be able to correct his errors, but doesn't know how to to talk to you about it.

That would feel so good for any of us to hear about an ex, as long as they weren't a psycho stalker!

Unfortunately, none of us has enough information to make that much of a sweeping statement accurately . . . but hey I would dwell on the possibility for a while just to make myself feel a little warm and cozy

.

In reality it seems like he either wanted to talk to you or has some remaining warm feelings for you that could range anywhere between just feeling pretty friendly and well disposed towards you and outright romantic intentions.

Also, it speaks well of him maturity wise that he was willing to take time to talk to someone that he probbaly had pretty significant feelings for at one time. Cause if he just wanted to be friendly he couldn't have been unaware of the potential akwardness . . . and if he is interested romantically, he had to be hurting a bit inside. Most people would have ignored you if either situation were true. Or hi and byed you.

His only real mistake I can see was chatting like that in front of the new girl, even if she was just a friend it was implied that they were escorting eachother to the event. So a little attention her way would have been politer.

ZTAngel · #12 11-15-2001, 07:51 PM

Speaking of exboyfriends and their new girlfriends....

I got this job about two weeks ago. The day after I was hired this other girl got hired and was put into my department. In the past two weeks, the two of us have worked together everyday. We have so much in common and we sit there at work gossiping the whole time. We even made plans to hang out outside of work. So, yesterday, she tells me, "My boyfriend is picking me up and taking me out to lunch." We started talking about her boyfriend and she told me that his name was Brad. Maybe that should've been my first clue. I put their names together. Brad and Amy. Sounded really familiar. I heard through the grapevine that this guy, Brad, I dated for a month during my sophomore year had a girlfriend named Amy. Could it be THE Brad and Amy? Nah. So, I was busy helping a customer when her boyfriend came walking in. I nearly peed in my pants. Yeah, it was definitely my ex-boyfriend. I hid behind a clothing rack. I don't think she knows I am his ex nor am I about to say, "Hey Amy! You know what I realized?! Your boyfriend use to be my boyfriend!" Not cool. But, this will definitely be VERY awkward. I hope that he doesn't come in again, see me, and then say something to Amy!

aephi alum · #13 11-15-2001, 09:25 PM

I had a particularly nasty ex - who broke up with me via something similar to IM, that we had on our campus computer system.

A few months later, I met my husband, and not too long after that, we got engaged.

A couple of months after I got engaged, I got an "IM" from my ex, saying "Please forgive me for breaking up with you by IM, and btw, I'm engaged."

Fortunately for his fiancee, she dumped his ass

I suspect he just proposed to her because his ex (I) was engaged, and he couldn't let me show him up...