Random Pubic Hair Rant

[James]

I'm walking down the hallway the other day and I see this guy I know and he's got something wrong with his face, like a wierd disease on his chin . . . I wanted to go up to him and ask what was up but I didn't want to him to feel bad so I go up to this sorority girl that knows him . . . and she says he grew a goatie, and I'm like Oh, he's growing a beard? And she's like no, he already grew a goatie.

She's kind of blunt so she leans in and whispers: no one has the heart to tell him it looks like he has pubic hair implants on his face, like the "hair club" for men . . .

Ok, so this is for the guys . . .

Look, if you don't have enough Testosterone to DHT conversion (those are hormones that give you male secondary sex characteristics) to give you THICK HAIR GROWTH . . .

DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, grow little curly pubic hair like things on your chin!!

I mean sheez, do you know how stupid it looks when you are trying for the unshaven lumberjack style and getting the 13 year old pre-puberty, pre-voice change, little virgin with a small penis appearance?

I know, I know, the media has spent a lot of time and effort portraying pubes on your chin as cute, but did you ever stop to think that the people that invent those styles are mostly middlae age men with same sex orientation that are no doubt wondering what you look like with your pants off? So they figured out a way of getting a sneak peek by having you advertise on your chin?

I mean I am so not into hazing but if some new members were to come forward with pubic hair on their chins like some athlete's foot fungus . . . I would almost have to haze them within an inch of their lives . . . or give them steroids, or ask them to Ritually shave one another . . . oops wrong movie.

So anyway, final word of caution:

If its going to be curly, fuzzy, in some wierd color, someone could refer to it as pubic hair, or it looks like that a girl would be waxing befor e putting on a bikini don't let it infest your chins!

And if you do and we meet, expect me to laugh hysterically at you.

Don't be that guy . . .