Non Greek friends

greek22 · #1 02-22-2010, 01:38 AM

I'm a pledge right now, so a lot of my time is taken up. Some of my best friends are non Greeks. A couple of them are anti Greek the others could care less. However they all say I'm not hanging out with them as much, and that I look like I prefer my Greek friends over them. They just can seem to understand I have to do a lot of stuff with them, that's why we hang out a lot. I need some advice I don't want to lose my non Greek friends. How do you balance them both. I've tried co mingling them together and it was just really awkward and forced

AXiDMeesh · #2 02-22-2010, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greek22

I'm a pledge right no, so a lot of my time is taken up. Some of my best friends are non Greeks. A couple of them are anti Greek the others could care less. However they all say I'm not hanging out with them as much, and that I look like I prefer my Greek friends over them. They just can seem to understand I have to do a lot of stuff with them, that's why we hang out a lot. I need some advice I don't want to lose my non Greek friends. How do you balance them both. I've tried co mingling them together and it was just really awkward and forced

I had this same problem, and unfortunately it did not work out the way I would have liked it to, so I'm not in the best position to give you much advice on this, other than to stop trying to co-mingle them if it didn't go well the first time. The next time will only be worse (trust me, I know).
It sucks that this has to happen to anyone, but I honestly feel that you should work on making strong relationships with your new brothers/sisters, because it seems like you only hang out with them because you "have to do a lot of stuff with them". Hang out with them because you want to, not because you are forced to.

KSUViolet06 · #3 02-22-2010, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greek22

I'm a pledge right no, so a lot of my time is taken up. Some of my best friends are non Greeks. A couple of them are anti Greek the others could care less. However they all say I'm not hanging out with them as much, and that I look like I prefer my Greek friends over them. They just can seem to understand I have to do a lot of stuff with them, that's why we hang out a lot. I need some advice I don't want to lose my non Greek friends. How do you balance them both. I've tried co mingling them together and it was just really awkward and forced

I know there were times (like after recruitment) when I was burned out on sorority stuff and just wanted to spend time with people who didn't care about it.

So they are important.

Just make it a point to make plans to do things with JUST them. If they're your friends, they'll want to hang out.

Also, keep in mind that a non-greek person usually doesn't understand or care about half of the fraternity/sorority stuff you're talking about. So if you're always talking about your fraternity, they may be a little annoyed by that.

AXiDMeesh · #4 02-22-2010, 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Also, keep in mind that a non-greek person usually doesn't understand or care about half of the fraternity/sorority stuff you're talking about. So if you're always talking about your fraternity, they may be a little annoyed by that.

Aaaaand that was my problem lol.
But can you blame me for being excited? haha

Penguin08 · #5 02-22-2010, 10:07 AM

Aaah, I had this same problem. Eventually I balanced it out by basically giving everyone X amount of hours. Like for instance, on days I have business meetings I eat lunch and spend the afternoon at the park with my non Greek friends because I know my entire night will belong to my sisters. I just comes down to scheduling and time management. Your non Greek friends are still very very important because when you're burnt out on or just plain frustrated with your brothers or sisters they are the last people you want to talk to about that. So, just try and fit everyone in where you have time. Good luck!

33girl · #6 02-22-2010, 11:22 AM

You're pledging right now, and that is a busier than usual time. Your non Greek friends should understand that, the same way as they would expect you to understand it if they were taking a really heavy semester creditwise, or had a job at a florist and worked every single extra hour around Valentine's Day.

Just tell them "I know it's crazy now, but once pledging's over, I'll have some extra time and we'll catch up." If they don't understand that, or don't want to understand that, you don't need them as friends.

And yeah - you are new to the fraternity, I wouldn't try meshing the two right now. Wait till you've been a brother a little longer and know the other brothers a little better - you'll probably start realizing things like "Brother Brad would get along really well w/ GDI Greg since they both love skiing."