Rushing While Living w/ Sorority Women

[PNM_fashionista]

So I couldn't find any info about this on the forums, so I thought I'd ask.

I'm going through recruitment as a sophomore next Fall and the girls I am rooming with next year are all in sororities. I've already checked my college Panhellenic's policies on this and know that I have to report this information to the VP of Recruitment.

I'm concerned that members will think I only want to be in one of my roommates' sororities. Don't get me wrong, I love my roommates and think each of their sororities are great, but so are all the other sororities on campus. Does anyone know of a tactful way to communicate that I'm open to ALL the sororities, not just the ones my roommates are in?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by PNM_fashionista

So I couldn't find any info about this on the forums, so I thought I'd ask.

I'm going through recruitment as a sophomore next Fall and the girls I am rooming with next year are all in sororities. I've already checked my college Panhellenic's policies on this and know that I have to report this information to the VP of Recruitment.

I'm concerned that members will think I only want to be in one of my roommates' sororities. Don't get me wrong, I love my roommates and think each of their sororities are great, but so are all the other sororities on campus. Does anyone know of a tactful way to communicate that I'm open to ALL the sororities, not just the ones my roommates are in?

I don't think anyone will assume that unless you go into every party and talk about your XYZ and ABC roommates.

If every 3rd word out of your mouth is "My roommate this" or "my roommate is an ABC/XYZ" or "my roommate said..." people might start to think that you only want to be where your roommates are.

Another thing to keep in mind:

Your roommates' chapters will likely know that they live with a PNM who is going through recruitment (because girls talk).

Mind your behavior and watch what you say. If you come home totally wasted, pretty much assume that their chapters will hear about it. If you gossip about a chapter, assume they'll hear it. Just be smart.

[bevinpiphi]

Not make it known when you're talking to other houses? Unless you're like the queen bee of campus, or it's a super small campus, I doubt everyone knows your living situation. Those in the houses of your roommates might, but those in others wouldn't. If they don't ask about it, don't flat out say "Oh, btw, my roommates are ABC's and DEF's."

[PNM_fashionista]

Oh, I wasn't planning on even mentioning that my roommates are in sororities (unless for some strange reason I'm asked)!

I'm just concerned b/c I have to fill out paperwork stating that I'm living with sorority members during formal recruitment and all the sororities can access this information.

I'm probably just being paranoid

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by PNM_fashionista

Oh, I wasn't planning on even mentioning that my roommates are in sororities (unless for some strange reason I'm asked)!

I'm just concerned b/c I have to fill out paperwork stating that I'm living with sorority members during formal recruitment and all the sororities can access this information.

I'm probably just being paranoid

They'll know, but I don't think they'll pay attention to it unless (like I said) you talk about them alot.

There were girls in recruitment who lived with sorority women, and we never paid too much attention to who a girl's roommate was unless they talked about Roommate or Roommate's Sorority alot.

Now if a PNM talked about that alot, chapters were more likely to assume that she only wanted to be in the roomie's sorority and cut her.

[33girl]

We occasionally had independents living in sorority houses, and when they signed in w/ their campus address, it was pretty easy to figure out where they were living. So it might be a situation like that.

Just be sure to show your interest and open mind at all the groups. And when you do visit your roomies' sororities, make an extra effort to talk to women other than them (don't blow them off, but don't spend the whole time hanging on them either). Rush can get stressful and confusing and you don't want to get in a situation where you say "oh screw it, I'm just going to go XYZ because Roomie is in it" instead of really going for it with the group that truly is the right match for you.

[GammaPhi88]

Last year, two of the girls I lived with in my apartment rushed. I don't think they made it obvious during rush that they lived with me unless they were at my chapter, and even then, it shouldn't be a big deal. Unless you don't shut up about your roomie's chapters, chances are people will give you a fair chance...sorority women understand that you can live with girls in other chapters. While I've seen girls cut from chapters because they have a sister/family member in a chapter, its less likely that they'll treat roommates the same way.

Another thing I'd like to point out is that it is in your best interest to be the best roommate you can be. If you act like a seriously terrible roommate, it can work against you, because chances are your roommates ARE wondering if you would be a good sister or not. I let my chapter know I had two roommates rushing, and my sisters did ask me what I thought of them.

Lastly, don't hold it against your roommates if you do really like their chapter and end up getting cut. Chances are that if you have a good relationship your roommate and you get cut from her house, it probably doesn't reflect on how much she likes you. Perhaps you two get along great but you may not be the best fit for her sorority. Or maybe she did want you in the house, but the decision wasn't solely up to her. I've seen girls I liked during rush get cut from my chapter, and you need to keep in mind that it may not be only up to your roomate.

ETA: One of my roommates joined my chapter, the other is very happy in another chapter on campus. It all worked out for them, and good luck to you!

[angels&angles]

I will say that, on my small campus, we knew who sophomore PNMs were living with. And it was generally known that one of three things was happening. Either, 1. PNM lived with roommates, liked them, but would probably go anywhere; 2. PNM liked roommates, and was rushing specifically to join one of their sororities; 3. PNM didn't like roommates, probably wouldn't join there. We usually were able to gather this information without ever asking the PNM (yeah, small school, people know things). Our estimations were usually correct (in Sitch 1, PNM would join a sorority, often roommates' [because she knew them best] but not always; #2 would either join XYZ with roomies or drop;#3 would join GLOs other than roomies'), but not always.

In summation: either people will know your situation whether you tell them or not. Or they won't. Just like with freshmen PNMs, As long as you don't ever mention how you think you will be an XYZ, you'll probably be fine.

[gee_ess]

Also, remember, when you are visiting the houses during rush, let them know that you are enjoying yourself. You want to convey that you are interested in them, not only your roommates GLO's. That behavior will indicate you are keeping an open mind. Plus, when you tell people you are going through rush, make sure you don't declare any favorites or any houses you dislike.

Did you go through recruitment as a freshman and are you on a competitive campus?

[PNM_fashionista]

Thanks for all of your replies! It's really helpful!

Originally Posted by GammaPhi88

While I've seen girls cut from chapters because they have a sister/family member in a chapter, its less likely that they'll treat roommates the same way.

^THIS is what I'm worried about; I just couldn't figure out how to articulate it. Thanks!

Originally Posted by gee_ess

Plus, when you tell people you are going through rush, make sure you don't declare any favorites or any houses you dislike.

Did you go through recruitment as a freshman and are you on a competitive campus?

I did go through recruitment as a freshman, but was released from recruitment before prefs (i.e. I received zero invitations). My school is very competitive (SEC), although I didn't know that going in last fall.

I've been very careful not to tell ANYONE how I feel about any of the houses, besides a diplomatic "I know great girls in all the houses, so I really want to go through recruitment again to see where I feel most at home."