When is it too late?

Convinced · #1 10-16-2001, 01:37 PM

My line sister has been planning a big wedding. Total cost of nonrefundable items:

Wedding dress $2000
Photographer $1000
Caterer $3300
Invitations $1200
Flowers $1000
(These are just the expenses I know about)

The wedding was scheduled for the 20th(Saturday). Well, Friday (the 12th), the groom to be decided that he does not want to be married and that he just wants to be friends

(They have been dating for ten years) My question is, in your own opinion of etiquette, what is an "acceptable" time period for calling off a wedding?

SFactor · #2 10-16-2001, 02:01 PM

Soror,

Is there a such thing or proper time for an a$$ whipping for the cold-feet groom-to-be???

Right now I am too mad to even think that he would do something like that.

CrimsonTide4 · #3 10-16-2001, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SFactor
Soror,

Is there a such thing or proper time for an a$$ whipping for the cold-feet groom-to-be???

Right now I am too mad to even think that he would do something like that.

I agree. I think that this man is chicken crap (you know what I really mean). He could have came better than that. Take him to Judge Judy and get 1/2 your money back if NOT ALL.

And maybe your line can all get back together and go do a sho nuff whooping on his tail.

Ideal08 · #4 10-16-2001, 02:10 PM

I think that any time is acceptable. As long as it's before the wedding day, but heck, if it gotta be at the alter, it's at the alter. The reason I say this is because it's never to late to catch an almost-mistake. Lost money is much better than a lost life. You can make the money back (outta his @$$), but you can't get your life back, you can only do it once.

Tell her to make it fun. Whoop his @$$ in the dress. HE is in the dress. Make him eat the flowers.

Tell her to still go get her pictures taken. Shoot, if all of your line was going to be at the wedding, yall can take some pictures together. Now that would be nice!

OR, she can take humiliating pictures of him, black and blue in a wedding dress. That's priceless, lmao.

And yall could still eat. If she's already paid the caterer, just have a Thank God I Didn't Make That Mistake Party. Food's already paid for, no since in throwing it away. I'm assuming she had a DJ, too. Yep, if the money was already spent, have a party on Saturday instead. Hmph, one monkey don't stop no show. This way she can get her party on, and cry with her sorors when it's all over and said and done. But if she's worried about saving face, go on 'head and have the party.

But it's never too late. Call that mess off. And tell the Soror that she is in our prayers. We pray she don't end up in jail. Hmph, ten years is a long time. I'm kinda ticked for her.

TELL HER TO MAKE SURE SHE KEEPS HER RING!!! ALL THE MONEY SHE DONE SPENT I'M SURE IS WORTH MORE. HE OWES HER AT LEAST THAT. Simple punk. No, I'm not above name calling.

AKAtude · #5 10-16-2001, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Convinced
My question is, in your own opinion of etiquette, what is an "acceptable" time period for calling off a wedding?

An "acceptable" time period is before spending all that money!

However, I agree with Ideal08 that it is better that it happened now rather than end in a divorce.

I would still take CT4's advice and sue his @$$. I hope she most definetly keeps the ring, but make sure she does NOT pawn or sell it. Tell her to take the diamond (or whatever stone) and have it set into a pendant.

Steeltrap · #6 10-16-2001, 06:19 PM

Soror,

Your line sister's dilemma boggles the mind.
I like all the ideas suggested by previous posters, including having the caterer do a party and celebrate the fact that she is not going to hook up with this worthless so-called "man."
Err, did I call him a man?

I meant ...((removes letters for this one))

BIG LOW-BUDGET P#%^*

AKA2D '91 · #7 10-16-2001, 07:43 PM

This is what I'm thinking...

2d takes out phone book to get the local number for
Judge Mathis
Judge Judy
Judge Joe Brown

Silly Bastid, tricks are for KIDS!

LMAO!

Special1920 · #8 10-16-2001, 08:07 PM

Did she put down all the money? I've seen this happen before.
He could have told her earlier, but the fact that he backed out before he made both their lives miseable is a slight plus. Something similar happened to my cousin. She can use the food at another party. Basically she can use the services, although she doesn't get her money back.

novella000 · #9 10-16-2001, 09:48 PM

TODAY! NOW!

DO IT!!! DO IT !!! DO IT!!!

He did the right thing... Any time is fine beforhand... hell afterhand is okay as long as he's honest and does it as soon as he knows...

But WHUP HIS AZZ!!!

Let me in on the time and place and I WILL BE THERE to help her WHUP HIS AZZ!!

Somebody, anybody... Do it today!
So he wants to be friends... a friendly ass-wuppin' never killed anyone.

Wedding dress $2000
Photographer $1000
Caterer $3300
Invitations $1200
Flowers $1000

Beating his azz after he breaks the engagement... priceless.

ClassyLady · #10 10-17-2001, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ideal08
I think that any time is acceptable. As long as it's before the wedding day, but heck, if it gotta be at the alter, it's at the alter. The reason I say this is because it's never to late to catch an almost-mistake. Lost money is much better than a lost life.

I totally agree. I would rather get stuck with a lot of bills than a sorry, no good husband. Actually, I would probably thank him for letting me know that he is not the man for me nor will he ever be. To me, that's worth the money right there, knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that he ain't the one. There's no guess work included.

What she should do is throw a big party and invite only her closest girlfriends. They can take pictures and eat the food that she already paid for. But, she shouldn't let him or anyone else, except the guests, know about it. That way she can still take him to court and get half of her money back. Curtis Court is much more sympathetic to these situations that Judge Judy. She can be so smart sometimes!!!!

SFactor · #11 10-17-2001, 09:21 AM

Even at that................

10 years is a long time to be with anybody at the dating level.

Sista needs a good swift kick for letting him play in the cookie jar for that long period of time without a commitment!!

stillwater15 · #12 10-17-2001, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ClassyLady

I totally agree. I would rather get stuck with a lot of bills than a sorry, no good husband. Actually, I would probably thank him for letting me know that he is not the man for me nor will he ever be. To me, that's worth the money right there, knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that he ain't the one. There's no guess work included.

What she should do is throw a big party and invite only her closest girlfriends. They can take pictures and eat the food that she already paid for. But, she shouldn't let him or anyone else, except the guests, know about it. That way she can still take him to court and get half of her money back. Curtis Court is much more sympathetic to these situations that Judge Judy. She can be so smart sometimes!!!!

i agree w/the statements by classylady. as far as the original question, i think any time is appropriate to call off a wedding. money may be lost on things like the caterer, photographer, etc. i think it's less heartache in the end, if it's called off before it actually happens. had the marriage had gone on as planned and then you go through divorce proceedings, that opens up another can of worms.

depending on how the expenses were originally paid, she should be eligible to take him to court and recoup some of the money, if he isn't willing to pay her back.

PositivelyAKA · #13 10-17-2001, 01:21 PM

THE FACT THAT THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED IS WORTH CRYING OVER BUT THEN I WOULD DO WHAT I COULD TO RECOVER LOSS MONIES, BUT I BET HER BIGGEST DILEMA IS HOW SHE COULD HAVE GOTTEN SO CLOSE YET BEEN SO FAR AWAY IN THIS MAN'S HEART. EEEK......

Wonderful1908 · #14 10-17-2001, 11:14 PM

I totally agree about not getting to the alter and in your heart making a mistake....but come on! I am sorry but this girly here would have to sell all that wedding merchandise to post bail, cause I would be in somebodys jail! Those things were meant NOT to happen to me, because I DO NOT have the restraint to prevent a crime from occuring!

DableST_1 · #15 10-18-2001, 05:45 PM

First and foremost I will keep her in my prayers. I couldn't IMAGINE what she is going through!!!! My Dearest Childhood friend went through the SAME thing, but he told her he just wanted to be friends a couple of months b4 the wedding!!! Unfortunatley, the Banquet STILL wanted her to pay the FULL Price for the reception hall. She had to get a Lawyer and everything!!!! I would Definitley say MAKE HIM PAY.... MAKE HIM PAY..... MAKE HIM PAY!!!! And I feel he should pay for everyting, not HALF!!!!!! AND AFTER 10 YEARS!!!!!!???

Kick his no good, triflin, cowardly, good for nothing......... Well you get the point!!! And he still wants to be friends???

O.K. Can someone PUULEEESSE X-pain to me how in the H-E- Double Hokey Sticks can you remain friends with someone who is COWARDLY enough to call off a wedding, a FEW DAYS B-4 the Wedding???? Now I am a VERY Forgiving person, but that is something I could not forgive!!!!! Think of all the people SHE has to call and expain to them that the wedding is off!!!! What type of man is he anyway????