Legacy chose to go elsewhere, do we still get "credit"?

totallyjersey · #1 10-09-2009, 12:16 PM

Hello! Have a question regarding legacies and was hoping you all might weigh in.

I am a sorority advisor who just went through the bid matching process.

We had a PNM, who is a Legacy, come through recruitment. It was pretty clear through the process that the fit was not there: She seemed unhappy and, I believe, her scores reflected that.

According to our policies, we gave her the highest ranking possible, taking into account her legacy status, which would have all but assured her a place in the New Member Class.

When it came down to it, she put another sorority first, and they put her first, and was matched accordingly. Frankly, I could not be more happy that this PNM found a home, and another Panhellenic organization found a great new member! After all, isn't that what this is all about?

That said, I fear the calls I will get from this PNM's family!

Questions...

Generally speaking, do we still get "credit" for extending her a bid?

If the PNM's family calls asking "Why!?!," how do I handle it? How do I tell them what "happened" while still protecting this PNM's privacy?

Any insight on how you handled similar situations would be very much appreciated.

SCTransplant · #2 10-09-2009, 12:37 PM

Every organization's policies are different, but generally if a woman is on the first bid list and she places that organization first, she receives a bid. Many organizations leave it up to the new member to inform her family member that she decided to join another group. If asked, and your policy allows, you should certainly say that she was on your first bid list. Let her family member draw her own conclusion.

ThetaDancer · #3 10-09-2009, 12:49 PM

Hopefully she will tell her family that she received her first choice and is happy with her new organization. There's really nothing else you could have done.

totallyjersey · #4 10-09-2009, 01:26 PM

Great thoughts, SC! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the PNM discusses her choice and that her family is thrilled. If she doesn't? I will definitely take your advice. Very many thanks!

Zillini · #5 10-09-2009, 01:50 PM

If Mom calls you need to remember that what happens in membership selection is confidential, even from your alumnae. So technically you can't come out and say Lucy Legacy was on your first Bid List.

What you can do is quote your GLO's and NPC's policies/procedures. Tell Mom that XYZ's policy is that all legacy PNMs who attended Pref are placed on the first Bid List. NPC's matching procedure is that any PNM who lists XYZ first and is on XYZ's first Bid List will receive a Bid. Then assure Mom that your organization followed your GLO's policy and the local Panhellenic followed NPC's procedures for matching.

Basically you are still telling Mom what happened, but doing so in a way that protects the confidentiality of your membership selection process. It's up to Mom to put 2 and 2 together to realize that her daughter must not have put your org first.

33girl · #6 10-09-2009, 01:58 PM

Hopefully the PNM will man up and say "Mom, I know what XYZ means to you, and they were nice girls, but I couldn't see them as my sisters. I felt much more at home in ABC." (This will most likely be easier for her to say if Mom went to a different school and/or if she chose a chapter that isn't at Mom's school - there are no preconceptions of ABC from back in the day.)

PeppyGPhiB · #7 10-09-2009, 08:10 PM

Um, I guess I would tell the mom that she should talk to her daughter, as her daughter made her choice.

violetpretty · #8 10-09-2009, 08:37 PM

Don't worry about it unless you actually do get a call from mom. If you do, tell her what Zillini said: here is our legacy policy, here are the Panhellenic policies. We followed policy. More likely than not, daughter told her mom how she ranked and that she is happy with her bid.