Problems with Greek Family

JennyB · #1 04-09-2009, 11:02 PM

Has anyone else had a problem with Greek families?

My family is kind of large; my big sis has a twin, and we all have littles. I like my big sis and her big is cool, but I really do not get along with my big's twin or the twin's little. What's really annoying is that I was assigned a little based on my family instead of being based on me, so I got this little who is okay, but she gets along better with the people I don't like. (My chapter is weird in that the people in charge do the matching rather than having us pick each other.)

So I guess what I'm wondering is if anyone else has had it happen where you don't like your family? Or if you were given a little or a big that you're not very close to?

What did/do you do?

KSUViolet06 · #2 04-09-2009, 11:17 PM

Something to think about:

There's somewhat of a misconception within sorority life that your Big Sis will magically be your BFF in the chapter. That's not always true.

There's also a misconception that your relationship with your Big Sis will be the your most important relationship within your chapter. Also not true.

It's really okay to have other sisters whom you get along better with. I love my Big Sis, but I have girls in my chapter that I am equally close to who are not in my family.

tri deezy · #3 04-10-2009, 12:15 AM

I had almost nothing in common with my big sis. She was nice as can be, but she had a very judgmental air about her. I always felt like she was looking down on me for pretty much being a normal college kid. To tell you the truth, she really shouldn't have joined a sorority- she hated that girls in my sorority liked partying and she really only saw anything and everything through "risk management eyes." Now, I'm not saying that my sorority sisters were out of control at all, just that she really had a stick up her rear-end. I had a twin and she and I got along GREAT.

33girl · #4 04-10-2009, 01:59 AM

KSUViolet is right on with everything she said. I would, however, suggest to whoever is assigning littles that their method might not be the best. I've never heard of a big getting no input whatsoever - it sounds like a recipe for trouble.

unDOVEated1920 · #5 04-10-2009, 05:13 PM

I only have one ls that im super close with. now the others i dont to much fool with. they ok but not the type of people i hang around like that. im also cool with my frat. we have problems sometimes. every family do

WVU alpha phi · #6 04-10-2009, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unDOVEated1920

I only have one ls that im super close with. now the others i dont to much fool with. they ok but not the type of people i hang around like that. im also cool with my frat. we have problems sometimes. every family do

I feel stupid after reading this post.

LΩVE · #7 04-11-2009, 04:11 PM

Mine left right after I was initiated so we didn't really get close. She's a total sweetheart and I still think she's great, but we weren't best buddies and I don't think either of us was broken up over it. I have, technically, four littles, only one of which I really keep up with now. I was and am closer to my grands and great-grands.

Point being no matter the "family" situation everyone's is different and being bestbest friends with your big or little is probably a less common occurrence than not being.

utpenguin · #8 04-11-2009, 05:10 PM

Our nme picks the big & littles. We usually don't have problems, but occasionally you get the weird matchup.
My big and I were one of the awkward pairs. I started off with a twin and when it was all three of us, we got along pretty well. My twin and my big were a lot alike, so they had their thing. Plus, my twin and I became good friends, so we had our own thing. Then my twin dropped and it got really awkward because my big and I had nothing in common. To make things worse, my big was the only one left in her family so it was just the two of us. I just ended up hanging out with some of the other bigs and I got "adopted" by another family.

Luckily, I haven't had those problems with my littles, but I've also made a bigger effort since I don't want them to feel awkward with me.

Leslie Anne · #9 04-11-2009, 09:38 PM

I don't know if this is campus based or generational but I really don't remember anything about "families" back on my campus in the 80s. I think far too much is made of it these days. It shouldn't be the end-all-be-all of the sorority experience.

I got a little sis that I barely knew. For the most part we were matched based on our majors but we were an unlikely coupling. So, what I did was shower her with gifts and made sure she was ready to become a sister. We didn't hang out much because we were in different crowds. No big deal. I remember her fondly and hope she does the same.

My advice is to treat your little like you would want to be treated as a New Member regardless of your crowd or interests. Treat your "twin" or other "family" members like you'd want any of your sisters to treat you. Don't get bogged down in the drama. Just have fun.