I swear before holy God I'll never understand the way women think...

[lifesaver]

OK, so heres the deal. My good friend Beth and I are pretty much spending the weekend together. She lives at home (just graduated from the university last year and is waiting for law school to begin) and her parents are out of town for the weekend. I dont feel comfortable with her in the house by herself, so I decide either she stays with me at my place, or I stay w/her at her place. So we are making a weekend of it at her house.

I am getting over a cold and have no voice, (but that wont stop me from partying..yet I wonder why it takes me so long to convaless) but last night we happend by a bros condo and there was a party. We had a great time, unexpected, but great. Go back to her place after and crash. We lay around all day watching TV (rainy saturday - dont you love those). Finally get up at 6 and head to my place so I can get cleaned up.

I iron and shower, shave and stuff. She treats me to dinner at Pappadeaux, a great cajun joint here in town. I had heard there was a party at a brothers house, so we went by to check it out, no one there. So we hear of another party. Go there and it was nothing but our new members who live in the dorms who cant drink there, so they were at this bros house. It was way lame and Beth really wanted to leave. So we go to this bar, where our friend Heather was. <Let me mention I HATE this particular bar. Never had a good time there, ever> But I went anyway. So we are at this bar, and we see heather. Grab a beer and folllow Heather back to her table and I see my old roomate (the psycho one, and Lisa M., Beths ARCH ENEMY.)

*flashback for clarification*
Beth was a freshman and really liked this guy Brian (my little brother), who ultimately ended up living with lisa m for 2 years, after he played Beth like a violin. Beth is cuter than Lisa, but Beth always hated lisa. Lisa is an idiot, but never was mean to Beth or anything. We joke about Lisa, and she is now in Oregon at grad school, but was in town for the weekend to see friends. (I didnt know this) But beth has made a career of hating Lisa.
*back to story*

I didnt see Lisa, just my old roomate, so I make my way over there, sit down, and see Lisa. I was thinking "$hit man, youre night is OVER." Beth's whole domeanor changes, and finds an excuse to walk away. So I am gracious, make small talk with Lisa, 'cause I have no beef with her (mistake #1 apparently) then go to find beth. Beth was on the dance floor, dancing, but obviously pissed, 'cause she was grinning and saying how she hated her life, in a sacrastic kinda way. So we dance for about 20 minutes and I suggested we leave, 'cause I knew she was miserable. So I make my way back to the table and make up some BS excuse why we have to leave (something about another party we promised to stop by) and leave. Beth wouldnt even speak. We get to the car and I knew it was trouble, because she puts in Stevie Nicks "after the glitter fades" and then the Dixie Chicks, "Tonight the Heartache's on Me." Singing at the top of her lungs with tears in her eyes. I am trying to talk to her to understand why Lisa gets to her.

For us guys we're just like, "he's an a$$ hole." and can usually let it go. Beth was telling me, "Theres just something about her that makes my skin crawl. I wanna climb on top of her and pound her. Even blacken her eye." I dont get it. The Brian thing was in FALL of 1996. That was like 3 centuries ago in college time. Guys can so blow $shit like that off. It obviously affected beth really bad. There was nothing I could do to make her feel better, because she kept getting madder and madder at me so I decided to cut my losses and just shut up (probably the first smart thing I did all night). We got back to her place (where I am now) and she went next door to her best friends house, as there is a party there. I just wanna go to bed. how in the hell can men and women even be the same species? I dont get it! I saw this TKE I cant stand on thursday who hooked up with this girl Dana I once dated and I just blew him off, even when he was talking some smack.

What was I supposed to do. Isnt there a lifetime movie she could watch or something? HELP me!

[Tom Earp]

LIFESAVER, when in your right mind did you figure you can figure out the female of the species?

It is an immpossibility so never in 20 life times try to do it!

If you can, bottle it, and make a fortune!!!!

Adam never listened about eating that damn apple and here we are!

Later Bro.

[KSig RC]

(Someone may have posted this already . . . James? eh whatever, it applies . . . )


After a pious life of worship and helping others, a man was granted one gift from God. Knowing that he was presented with the Almighty, a gift in and of itself, he panicked when given the choice to have God perform any one task for him.

"God, well, I really want to visit Hawaii, but I'm so deathly afraid of airplanes . . . could you build a bridge from, say, LA to Hawaii? That way I could drive, and live out my dream of seeing Hawaii."

God sort of scoffed - "Well . . . do you understand the magnitude of such a thing? Think of the tons and tons of steel, mortar, and concrete needed to create such a bridge - plus, the ocean is miles deep in certain parts. It would be an unparalleled feat of human engineering - I couldn't well hide that it was my work. Perhaps there's something else you'd desire more, that may be easier to obtain?"

The man paused, and now quite used to conversation with His Holiness, he comes up with a better answer:

"God, well, I guess I'd really love to understand women."

Now, God pauses for a bit, before replying -

"Four lanes or two on that bridge?"

----

I think that just about sums it up . . .

[Honey77484]

Poor Beth...I hope you were kind to her (I'm sure you were) I was dating someone three years ago, and this stupid slutty horrible girl broke us up, and my skin STILL crawls when I see her. I hate her very much. Whenever I see her, there's like a combination of misery and contempt and humiliation that makes me want to puke. Maybe girls are just very good at holding grudges.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by lifesaver
So I am gracious, make small talk with Lisa, 'cause I have no beef with her (mistake #1 apparently) then go to find beth

Darlin', I will paraphrase our esteemed President in order to sum up a woman's point of view on THAT one......"Either you are with us or you are against us"

Nuf said

[valkyrie]

Okay, I am a woman and I don't understand why in the world Beth was acting like that. It makes no sense to me. 1996???!! I really think that she should have gotten over this by now, and I can't think of any reason why she hasn't. I'm really being serious when I say that is sounds like Beth has some serious anger management/control issues and may need more help than you can give her.

You did nothing wrong. Yes, I know that friends need to be loyal to each other, but within reason. There is no reason why you should have to avoid anyone, Lisa included, just because of Beth's issues.

Something else about your post bothered me. You said that you don't feel comfortable with Beth in the house by herself and so the two of you are spending the weekend together while her parents are out of town. If she was a freshman in 1996 and has graduated from college, I'm assuming that she is in her early to mid twenties. Unless there are facts that were not mentioned in your message, I really don't understand why she can't be home by herself, and why you decided that she had to stay with you or you with her. It sounds like you are taking on the role of "protector" to her, and she really needs to learn to be less dependent on others and deal with her problems on her own, which she is having some trouble doing. Yes, be there for her, but why can't she be on her own too? I am truly sorry if I am reading more into this than I should be, but that bothered me when I read your message.

There is only one possibility I can think of that makes Beth's behavior seem even a tiny bit rational. You say that you are good friends. Without knowing your history, I wonder if she has romantic feelings for you and got really freaked out seeing you with Lisa, thinking, "Oh no, Lisa's going to get him too."

Just my $.02. Again, I'm sorry if I'm reading too much into anything. This is just an honest opinion from someone who is really concerned about Beth's behavior.

[Miami1839]

Join the club. I will never know this answer myself either. I find that jerk guys with charisma always beat out us nice guys. But then you never know I guess. Anyways, Sometimes you just have to step back and be supportive. As hard as it may be when you have certin expectations on a particular night. Every relationship has its ups and downs. Just be supportive as you can I guess. Without being controlling.

Kevin

[damasa]

i gave up trying to understand things about women some time ago. You ask them what's wrong, they say they don't want to talk about it. So you shut up, and then they start telling you everything that's wrong (not all women but some) those some confuse the crapola out of me. So now, if a girl won't let me talk to her about a problem or something, I won't even waste my time, may sound harsh, but why try to rip words out of someone when they don't want to tell, yet, they sit there and say how they need someone to talk to. All I hear is "blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah."

[tickledpink]

It's because she hasn't forgiven her. Add that to this girl & guy obviously hurt her very bad and she doesn't trust her and you've got a baaaad combination. So, you're best bet is to distance yourself if you ever see her again (leave it at "hi"... small talk was definately mistake #1).

Realistically, you have to wonder if she even realizes that she hurt her that bad. She's probably moved on by now. Once she forgives the girl, then she won't have that much power over your girlfriend.

[KABillyMac]

Life, brother Billy here. Long time no talk.

You shoulda clocked that TKE cat that wanted to talk some smack. If he wants some just tell him that your gonna ram that brushgaurd up his ass and see what he thinks about them apples. That being said...........

That woman still has the hots for your little. Just like you could give two craps about your ex and the tke, she resents that woman cause she still has some thing way down deep for that guy. Pack up the truck and move on. You might dig her, but will she ever really dig you fully????????? Everyone has some kind of skeleton in their closet and that is hers.

P.S. Dont go out like some overplayed, lifetime male daytime movie star. Dont sit at the house and wait for her to get back from some party while you talk to us on greekchat. Go get in your truck and find another good girl that doesnt have such close ties to your friends and some situation that is out of your control.

Take care of yourself bro.

[IowaHawkeye]

Oh Billy how I have missed your posts...
You said pretty much what most girls would refuse to say: we get mad, angry and upset because we do STILL care about that person we lost (even if it was way back in '96) and seeing the person that "stole" them away from us engulfs us with rage. Lifesaver, hun, in Beth's mind, you crossed enemy lines and are making friends. As wrong as that is, the girl probably feels that you came there with her, you know the whole story, your supposed to support her - not make friends with the enemy. It's not right - but that is how some girls feel. Personally - i think yo should be friends with whoever you please!

[James]

Can I get someone to testify? Can I get an amen? Lifesaver, I have no idea the complete history ot your realtionship to that girl, but if I showed your post to 20 guys I know, they would all say that girl is playing you for emotional support(Like Valkyrie said, 22+ and you feel that protective?). She's using you (hopefully unconsciously) as a surrogate boyfriend . . . In fact:

She's making you into "that guy" . . .

And while you wait around for her she doesn't seem to be giving you any physical attention . . . and by giving attitude like that she is certainly preventing you from getting attention from others. . . .

You need to back up a little from that girl, and lower that emotional committment . . . IT might even be unhealthy.

As far as the TKE guy is concerned, while I don't subscribe to Brother Billy's gospel of violence, I am not self-actualized enough not to have enjoyed invading his peronal space and intimidating him a bit as well as flirting with her in front of him . . .

Oh, and Beth wants you to leave the bar but of course leaves you at her place while she goes to another party . . . ?

Good luck, that redefines high maintainence (way beyond salad dressing on the side).

PS. You tell good and detailed stories.

[KABillyMac]

I dont condone fighting. Actually, when your 25 and about to graduate, you have had your fill of drunken smack talking crap that usually ends up in fights where no one wins, someone gets a black eye, and you get thrown out of the bar. Just cause you feel 10 feet tall and bulletproof doesnt mean some of us would'nt think twice about testing your theory out.......... I have dated several girls and not once after seeing them with someone else did i disrespect their significant other. I wish I could say the same about significant others disrespecting me. Everyone needs to get on the respect train, or have your ass thrown off it.

Case in point, although it doesnt pertain to a significant other. My girlfriend's best friend is getting married in a few months. I dispise this girl. I dispise her fiance. She thinks that because I come from a good family and I am greek that I shouldnt wear boots with khaki's, erase my accent, and should join her in her tree hugging hippie mentality and become a flaming liberal. And her boyfriend is a prison security gaurd that doesnt have the commons sense the good Lord gave a goose. This morning I ran into him at the gas station and attempted to shake his hand to congratulate him on the engagement, and he gripped my hand like a girl and kind of gave me that "wassup" head nod. Because these folks are my girlfriends friends, I try to do what I can to be respectful. I'll tell you one thing though, I wont be drinking at that wedding cause it could be bad. But all in all they can both join the long, distinguished, and illustrious line of folks that can kiss my ass, along with Bin Laden, the guy that invented astroturf, and Art Modell. (Go Bengals)

To all you smack talkers out there. Most of you get a second chance to walk away. Please use it.

[maggieaxid]

ok, i can't explain why women behave the way that we do...we just do. its the same thing when we walke around wondering why guys say they call, and they don't....they can't explain it, it just happens.
you did the right thing. leave it at that.
she is entitled to her feelings, they are her feelings...even though you don't understand them or you think she may be over reacting..they are HER feelings. so be a guy, let it go, for now, and be her friend. the end.

[The1calledTKE]

Some girls don't get over past wrongs and same goes with some guys. Its just good to avoid the other girl like you would a disease.
Its good you walked away. I ain't saying this because it was a brother that talked smack, he could have takin care of himself. Its just that almost every guy in their life talks some smack, some talk tons. If everyone fought after talkin smack blackeyes would become in fashion.