making a connection

[SGC001]

Thanks!

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by SGC001

My daughter feels that she is not making a connection with the girls in her sorority. She has tried to initiate a couple of things but only has a couple of girls that are interested. This sorority has close to 200 girls so it is imperative that she gets into a smaller group. There are approximately 55-60 girls in her pledge class. Her big is great one on one but she is not very social so she is not going to be any help in this situation. I am at a loss. Do any of you have any ideas so that I can pass them along?

I am saying this in all sincerity. I went to two different schools, so I understand how hard it can be to make friends.

Honestly, being in college (let alone a sorority) pretty much requires you to sink or swim socially. This is the age at which she is going to earn her stripes, build character, learn to solve problems. She is away from home and yes, that is tough, but it's a process every adult needs to experience.

Does she have friends outside the sorority? Is she generally shy otherwise or is she "just" having a problem connecting within the group? Just as the sorority is a microcosm of the college, smaller groups form within the sorority, by pledge class, year, committees, etc. Making friends in the sorority should be no different than any other place. In a sense, she might look at this as "easier" because the group is insular already.

I would be very cautious in "helping" her with this situation (unless she has real anxiety issues, etc.) and simply suggest that she strike up conversations with other new and active members and find commonalities. I don't have to spell out for you how to initiate conversations and make friends. Gently push the birdie out of the nest. It's time.

PS Pardon the DG crash

[DGlove08]

Hi
I would suggest that she goes out as many events as possible. Every chapter constantly has events to go to, weather it be philanthropies, sisterhood events, anchor splash, greek week, homecoming....there is always something. Generally the girls who come out to events are the easiest to go up and talk to as well. She should also try to get to know her pledge class the best since these are the girls that she will be closest with during college.

I hope this helped :-)

[sceniczip]

Originally Posted by DGlove08

Hi
I would suggest that she goes out as many events as possible. Every chapter constantly has events to go to, weather it be philanthropies, sisterhood events, anchor splash, greek week, homecoming....there is always something. Generally the girls who come out to events are the easiest to go up and talk to as well. She should also try to get to know her pledge class the best since these are the girls that she will be closest with during college.

I hope this helped :-)

I have to disagree with that statement because I am not very close to my pledge class except for maybe one or two but there were only nine of us since we were the spring (informal) class. I'm guessing that with 55-60 in a pledge class then there's probably a better chance at connecting with girls.

That being said once she's initiated she will be a full, active member so she should try to get to know anyone the people she has things in common with. Maybe people who have the same major as her or like the same hobby, etc... That way there's immediately something to talk about