Advise on RE-Joining the fraternity you were initiated in.

[imissmabros]

Hey, I need some advise on rejoining the fraternity I was initiated in (duh... that's the title of my thread).

So, this is my story. I liked my bros, pledging, the people, events, and all that stuff... I ended up being initiated, was having a good time and everything was good... until summer came along.

Anyway, when I came back from the summer everything changed.... Yeah I had a tough summer, was working hard, needed the bro bond, someone to give me a holla the whole drama story. When I came back everyone was giving everyone a hard time... like always... but since I just had a tough summer I came back overly emo... Yeah, I had the whole thing... you guys are getting me PO'ed mad and I just can't take it anymore... So, since the decisions they were making made me felt like I was being ignored or not taken into consideration... I got very emo and told them and our organization that I want to get the hell out of my fraternity.
(Yes, I know having a tough summer and being emo is a stupid excuse and I'd probably not do it right now cuz I figured that out)

Anywho... So I left my fraternity for a long ass time... Very long. And quite some times I was trying to convince myself into going back. And so... I tried doing that.

BTW I hope the long ass e-mail doesn't make you guys not want to read this.

Continuing... Yes, I told my bros and my org that I wanted to go back... I now know that I need 2/3 vote to get back in... but it seems like all the efforts I made assured them that I shouldn't be back in their organization, instead of making them give me another chance.

I.E. (made up example) I tell em:

me: "yeah dudes remember those good ass times we had streaking to the gym, mud wrestling, kidnapping us pledges and being thrown into a big ass car with the initiates wearing dark masks"

bros: "That's called hazing stupid dude... we don't do or like doing that anymore"

me: "oh... well this is awkward"


I.E. 2 (made up example 2) Using jelousy as an example:

me: "yeah dudes, I've been hanging out with this local fraternity ( which I was) and they totally want me to join (which they did).

My good bro buddy with a sad expression: "Yeah man... that's cool just don't tell em our secretes"

me (after rush week): [thinking this after getting a letter] "Oh crap... the director of greek life and orientation wants to talk to me".

director of greek life and orientation: "Uhm... you already joined a fraternity and according to our records you are still a member"

me: "hell yeah, I'm going back with my bros"

Bros (kinda pissed off): "Stupid ass... you got us in trouble again... we had people in our roster that shouldn't have been there...."

me: "oh... can I still go back"

bros: "we will vote on it" [meaning no]


Main questions

So anywho... I kinda want to go back because I miss them, but I kinda don't want to go back because I heared that the fraternity has changed (I used to like the fraternity I joined... alot). But since every effort that I make to go back gets my fraternity in trouble I was looking for some advise.

I also had another option... I'm going to grad school and there are chapters of my fraternity there... could I join those chapters instead.
(me thinking... eff you guys.... all the money I would have donated to your chapter now goes to the fraternity which I went to grad school for)

Here are the questions though:

Could it be possible for me to go back to my fraternity where I go to college currently somehow (without getting them in trouble)? And if so (which technically I could), what steps do you guys recommend for me to take?

Could I go to the fraternity during my grad school years?

Did you actually read the long ass thread post?


P.S. Yes I do look like a normal person even if my writing is weird... I don't have a hunchback, one eye, or creep out the girls at a party.

[Senusret I]

How long had you been inactive?

Were you OFFICIALLY officially deactivated? Like, do you still receive the national magazine or whatever at your parents' house?

[lucgreek]

Like the above, did you officially terminate affiliation or did you just stop showing up for things and went inactive? Or did you take early alumni status?

Is this an IFC fraternity or a multicultural one?

As for IFC, I'm almost positive that once you terminate your membership with the organization, it's gone for good. If you took early alumni status then I don't think you can become an active member (It doesn't sound like you took alumni status though).

As for grad school, I don't know of any IFC fraternities that allow people who have finished their undergrad to join.

My advice would be to contact nationals and explain your situation and see what the course of action to take is (if any).

[imissmabros]

A1. I've been inactive for one and a half, maybe two years.

A2. I still get the national magazine, e-mails and all that stuff. I even talked to nationals and they mentioned that all I need to do is get voted back in (that was about 8 months ago...) or officially leave the org.

B1. Yeah, I just stopped showing up for things, I really didn't do anything official on the whole leave issue except for going to one last meeting and telling them I was not coming back... (I left my badge, letters, posters, official initiate document, thongs, and everything except for the things I had with my pledge class).
[and no it was not a gay fraternity if you ask about the thong thing... not that there would be anything wrong with that anyway].

B2. It was an IFC fraternity, and like I wrote before... All nationals sayed was that I only needed to be voted back in. But I haven't asked them about my grad school plans.

[imissmabros]

I should rephrase my question...

Let say I only need to get voted back in to be an active member again. How could I win back the votes instead of doing the exact opposite?

Also, Let say the same fraternity I joined has an active chapter and I did not re-join my fraternity on campus. Could I rejoin my same fraternity on a different campus?
(I probably should and must ask nationals this... but every time I do something I get my chapter in trouble... so I decided to ask here first and see what you guys think)

I still believe in the values, principles, Greek god, symbols, chants and all the things we did as bros... the view of fraternity that I was initiated was still the same, even when I was hanging out with other fraternities (which I was doing purely out of trying to make my bro's jealous). Even if I don't get the votes back in... I still want to be in, and maybe try a different chapter of the same fraternity where people who uphold and believe in the same values as I learned can take me in.

I'm kinda confused that they don't want me back in to tell you guys the truth... I don't understand how the other fraternities I was hanging out with believe I'm so cool... (which I am). I just get really sad when people who are from other fraternities rather give me a call and invite me to a party and event... and my bros don't even give a mouses ass about me...

[lucgreek]

Originally Posted by imissmabros

I should rephrase my question...

Let say I only need to get voted back in to be an active member again. How could I win back the votes instead of doing the exact opposite?

Also, Let say the same fraternity I joined has an active chapter and I did not re-join my fraternity on campus. Could I rejoin my same fraternity on a different campus?
(I probably should and must ask nationals this... but every time I do something I get my chapter in trouble... so I decided to ask here first and see what you guys think)

I still believe in the values, principles, Greek god, symbols, chants and all the things we did as bros... the view of fraternity that I was initiated was still the same, even when I was hanging out with other fraternities (which I was doing purely out of trying to make my bro's jealous). Even if I don't get the votes back in... I still want to be in, and maybe try a different chapter of the same fraternity where people who uphold and believe in the same values as I learned can take me in.

I'm kinda confused that they don't want me back in to tell you guys the truth... I don't understand how the other fraternities I was hanging out with believe I'm so cool... (which I am). I just get really sad when people who are from other fraternities rather give me a call and invite me to a party and event... and my bros don't even give a mouses ass about me...

If the chapter doesn't want you, you're out of luck. You could try transferring schools and reactivating, but with the time frame you provided, it sounds like you are near graduation, so transferring would be unwise. I don't think anyone on GC could tell you how to win back people because we don't know your chapter or situation personally.

As for grad school, I can't name a single IFC fraternity that would allow grad students to be active members. It honestly sounds like you're just going to have to accept alum status and move on. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but it sounds like the reality of the situation.

Honestly, you need to speak with your chapter president and nationals and see if there can be a remedy. But from what you've said it doesn't look too good for you.

Side note: I really can't blame your chapter though, if someone wasn't around for nearly 2 years at my chapter due to wanting to leave and who turned in their badge and letters, I don't think if I would want them back around for leaving a lifetime commitment so easily.

[imissmabros]

Yeah, that's what I thought was most likely going to happen....

I've been trying to go back before this (four months after having left)... It's not like it was the first time I want to go back after two years of being AFK...

I don't understand what you mean by alum status, or what it involves either.

The chapter had various changes... I knew that many people left. They probably think I'm still the same immature pledge or something. Also, having members that don't even know who I am probably has something to do with it...

So, if there is absolutely nothing I can do then thanks for your advise.

[lucgreek]

Originally Posted by imissmabros

Yeah, that's what I thought was most likely going to happen....

I've been trying to go back before this (four months after having left)... It's not like it was the first time I want to go back after two years of being AFK...

I don't understand what you mean by alum status, or what it involves either.

The chapter had various changes... I knew that many people left. They probably think I'm still the same immature pledge or something. Also, having members that don't even know who I am probably has something to do with it...

So, if there is absolutely nothing I can do then thanks for your advise.

You said you still get the fraternity magazines, so it sounds like you never officially disaffiliated from the national organization, so it seems like you're technically a part of it. Call nationals and ask whether you're considered an alum or what.

But as for rejoining the chapter if the sentiment is still to not let you back in, the I doubt they'll let you in.