being at frats during recruitment

[goof]

i was wondering if there is a kind of unwritten rule during formal recruitment that a PNM can't be at/can't be seen at frats during recruitment. it probably varies from college to college, but suffice it to say that at my school formal recruitmenet stretches over a 2ish-week period and that, although it's a big greek school, it's not in the SEC or big 12. i wasn't really planning on going out a lot AT ALL during recruitment, but one of my best guy friends is in a frat and i don't want to run the risk of getting cut because i was seen hanging out at his fraternity on a weekend. thanks so much!!

[33girl]

Your instincts are right. 2 weeks away from the fraternity house isn't going to kill you. Better safe than sorry.

[GammaPhi88]

33girl is right. Trust your instincts. Even if you're not misbehaving at a fraternity house, its not a good idea to be there during recruitment. Something you do or say, even with the most innocent intentions, could be taken entirely the wrong way. Besides, you're likely to be so exhausted from recruitment that you won't really want to go out. Its way more tiring than you may think.

[Kansas City]

I'd hang out with your friends somewhere neutral (campus union, bowling, movies, etc.). It's best to error on the side of innocence during recruitment and stay away from the fraternity houses.

[KSUViolet06]

It's best for PNMs to take a break from going out during recruitment.

I've seen it happen where one misunderstanding with a sorority member at a party really affects a PNMs recruitment negatively. It happens all the time (especially when people are drinking).

For example: You accidentally spill your drink on a sorority member and she makes a scene, but you apologize and walk away. She tells all her friends in her sorority that you spilled a drink on her and gave her a dirty look at the XYZ party. That may not be true, but that's how she saw it. Her entire sorority now thinks you're a bitch because of one spilled drink and drunken misunderstanding at a party. That's not good. Then if she tells her friends in other chapters the same thing, that's REALLY not good. Recruitment is not going to go well for you.

My advice to to avoid the frat parties, because if you aren't there, there is no potential for drama. But if you are there, you never know what a sorority member may see and think.

[GammaPhi88]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

For example: You accidentally spill your drink on a sorority member and she makes a scene, but you apologize and walk away. She tells all her friends in her sorority that you spilled a drink on her and gave her a dirty look at the XYZ party. That may not be true, but that's how she saw it. Her entire sorority now thinks you're a bitch because of one spilled drink and drunken misunderstanding at a party. That's not good. Then if she tells her friends in other chapters the same thing, that's REALLY not good. Recruitment is not going to go well for you.

Thats exactly what I wanted to say KSUViolet! Situations like that happen all the time; I remember it happening to a girl on my hall last year, and she was cut hard.

[gee_ess]

Ditto all of the above...stay away from frat parties.

[APhiAnna]

The possibilities for things to go wrong are endless...and most of them may not even be things that YOU do! We're all girls, we know how jealousy can make rational women say/think stupid things. For example, maybe a sister is all dressed up to impress the guy she likes and she's been talking to her friends about him all day. Maybe this same guy is trying to talk to you all night (and you're not even interested!). He completely ignores the active. The active could get really jealous and attach all types of things to your name that don't even belong there. Is it fair? Not at all. Is it petty? Sure thing. But during recruitment it is rare that somebody questions what your sisters say about a PNM...you are too tired to not take things at face value. Better safe than sorry.

[APhi4Ever]

Great advice!

[goof]

thank you all so much! and yes i am sure that 2 weeks of mostly staying in won't kill me =) this is interesting though because before i randomly heard about it i had no idea that it was a faux pas (yes, this might be ignorant, but i didn't know). anything else i should be aware of regarding that?

[ZetaGirl22]

Yup Id make yourself scarce during recruitment. Too many things can happen/go wrong. We specifically told PNMs NOT to go out during recruitment when I was a Rho Chi, and I think at some schools if you are caught out at a fraternity during recruitment you can be disqualified from recruitment all together. I understand not wanting to alienate your friend in the fraternity. Being greek himself, I'm sure he has at least SOME awareness that its generally not copacetic for PNMs to go out to fraternity houses during recruitment. If he doesn't, I'm sure he will understand if you nicely explain it to him. I don't think its a problem if you HANG OUT during the 2 weeks, but maybe you should keep it away from the house. Maybe invite him over? Go out to dinner? A movie?

[AOII Angel]

The other issue is that no alcohol policies are in effect during recruitment. If you are seen "out" whether at a bar or a frat house, people could assume that you were drinking, right or wrong.

[SWTXBelle]

Better safe than sorry.