I think I'm messing up rush. (U of Washington)

[sociallyinept]

I'm socially awkward, lack confidence, and am below average looking.

However I feel like joining a fraternity and getting a good group id overcome a lot of this. Plus a lot of girls like the social status so it'd help there.


Anyway, I was invited to see two houses. I met the rush chair and he showed me around. But I didn't talk to anyone. I know it's my own fault since I'm shy but I don't have any idea of how to rush. Am I supposed to be introducing myself to everyone when I tour the houses? I was invited to a party should I just introduce myself to everyone in the house? What else to I ask?

Would it be weird if I offered to help set up for the party?

I guess what should I be doing when I tour houses and go to parties?


Also any recommendations on houses out at UW?

[33girl]

If the only reason you want to join a fraternity is to meet girls, then don't bother. No one likes to be used, including fraternities.

Yes, you should be introducing yourself to members of the fraternity and other rushees.

Yes, it would be VERY weird to offer to set up for a party when you are not a member. That would be like going into a clothing store and changing the displays when you are shopping.

And no one on GC is going to discuss chapter reputations with you. Find the fraternity that is best for you, not the most prestigious.

[sociallyinept]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If the only reason you want to join a fraternity is to meet girls, then don't bother. No one likes to be used, including fraternities.

Yes, you should be introducing yourself to members of the fraternity and other rushees.

Yes, it would be VERY weird to offer to set up for a party when you are not a member. That would be like going into a clothing store and changing the displays when you are shopping.

And no one on GC is going to discuss chapter reputations with you. Find the fraternity that is best for you, not the most prestigious.

No. I want to join for making lasting friendships. Always having friends around and building real friendships not school friends. I wanna be around guys that I get along with and be able to attend the events that fraternities hold like dances and socials. If that's a bad reason then I'll just stop rushing. I listed those things about girls as benefits to help my current situation.

So during house tours I should be just stopping and introducing myself to everyone? What do I ask? Can I ask how and why they chose this certain frat? Or just stick to major name and year?
I get at parties I can ask ppl for their basic info but mostly concerned with house tours

I'm not looking to get reputations. I couldn't care less about being in a certain teir frat. I was hoping people could recommend a house based off interests. Like check out x fraternity if you're into sports or such.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by sociallyinept

No. I want to join for making lasting friendships. Always having friends around and building real friendships not school friends. I wanna be around guys that I get along with and be able to attend the events that fraternities hold like dances and socials. If that's a bad reason then I'll just stop rushing.

I'm not looking to get reputations. I couldn't care less about being in a certain teir frat. I was hoping people could recommend a house based off interests. Like check out x fraternity if you're into sports or such.

If you're in the fraternity, you'll be able to attend mixers. No one is going to make you stay home.

And saying "x fraternity is the jocks" IS a reputation. You should be able to talk to them and figure out if you have common interests.

[NWguy]

There are 31 fraternity chapters at UW, so there's something for everyone.

Yes, you should be socializing when attending events at the fraternities; that's why they call them social events. Don't wait for them to talk to you, introduce yourself and open a conversation.

Whatever is important to you, whatever criteria will help you in deciding which chapter to join, then be sure to ask those questions. For me, academics were most important, so I asked about GPA requirements, study hall, etc.

The Greek community at UW is a very good one, not to mention Greek Row itself is somewhat unique to other colleges in that all of the national fraternity and sorority chapters are concentrated in a 6-by-6 block radius. It is a blast to live there.

I would go to the UW IFC website to research the various fraternities, and the chapters' individual websites to see which ones might be a good fit for you. Be pro-active, don't wait for the invitations to come to you.

Best wishes!

[Dixie_Amazon]

Check out the Art of Manliness's articles on shyness. There is a wealth of information for guys there.

[Tom Earp]

Trying to figure this poster out?
Dude everyone is a bit shy when meeting new people.
Not every guy is an adonis but just normal guys like you!
Most Greek Fraternity's are made up of various guys who come from all over and different back grounds, rich, poor, different races and religious denominations.

So, just suck it up, go in with a smile and give your name when meeting someone.
Fraternity's are a diverse group of guys just like you are!!

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by sociallyinept

Also any recommendations on houses out at UW?

That won't happen here.

If there are 31 groups, you'll get in somewhere. You've probably heard something about keeping an open mind and casting a wide net before. We aren't going to offer you anything special in that regard.

[navane]

Originally Posted by Kevin

That won't happen here.

If there are 31 groups, you'll get in somewhere. You've probably heard something about keeping an open mind and casting a wide net before. We aren't going to offer you anything special in that regard.

There are 31 fraternities?! Woah! The OP needs to step up his game and start visiting chapters!! I think he mentioned only visiting a couple.

[DGTess]

If you're going to rush the attitude that "I'm socially inept but someone will give me a pity bid" then you are messing up rush.

If you go out with the attitude that you're looking to make friends and be part of something larger than yourself, then lose the label you chose and go do it.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by DGTess

If you're going to rush the attitude that "I'm socially inept but someone will give me a pity bid" then you are messing up rush.

If you go out with the attitude that you're looking to make friends and be part of something larger than yourself, then lose the label you chose and go do it.

You don't want to be someone's pity bid. You want to be where you're really wanted--and in a system of that size, there's a place for almost anyone. Somewhere on that campus is a fraternity full of [and I'm not suggesting this judgmentally] WoW-playing, Star Trek geeks where OP will feel at home.

And OP should stop apologizing for being awkward. Just about everyone, especially their Freshman year, is awkward in college. It's the first time they've been away from home, they may have grown up with helicopter parents who never let them make decisions for themselves, etc. The good news to OP is that just about every other freshman is in the same boat.