Unsuccessful fall rush at Alabama, questions about possible spring rush. Advice?

[Bamarushee]

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[gee_ess]

Sorry that rush did not work out as you had hoped. I cannot speak with any sort of authority on Bama rush, but I would encourage you to read several of the threads on GC that deal with spring rush, disappointing rush results, re-rushing, etc.
I think you will find a lot of answers there and definitely some advice and consolation regarding your situation.

Hang in there!

[KSUViolet06]

Random question: did you have recommendations?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Bamarushee

I did for half of the sororities. I can understand being dropped from the ones I did not have recs for...but i was dropped from all of the ones I did have recs for before I was dropped from the others.

I was asking because sometimes girls have NONE and didn't even know you needed them. Having a rec doesn't really = not being cut. You have to think about the fact that almost everyone else has them too.

[phimusam]

Your being dropped hardly ever means that a sorority dropped YOU - just that they were limited for each round in how many they could invite back, pref, or bid, and they filled to the limit before they got to your name. So please don't beat yourself up or lose confidence in yourself. I don't know about COB at Bama or spring rush or exactly how going through fall rush again is going to work. I do know that if you throw yourself into going to class and studies and finding some way to serve the community around you, you are more likely to find your place and that may be in or out of a Greek letter organization.

[AOEforme]

Originally Posted by Bamarushee

It's just hard because I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I feel like I wasn't good enough, and I can't see the difference between me and the girls who could have any sorority they choose. Going to a school with such a huge greek life it's devastating to not be chosen by anyone :/ It hurts.

I really truly understand your pain. Rejection sucks, especially at such a Greek-Dominated School.

But you weren't "not chosen by anyone". You did have one sorority left at preference. There were so many women who would have loved to have that opportunity.

On that flip side, that chapter was probably equally crushed. You may have been the rush crush of a girl in that chapter who was just as heartbroken as you.

I hope you get involved in school and wish you the best of luck.

[33girl]

I have to agree with the above post. There were most likely girls who were dropped by ALL the sororities long before preference night.

Let the Greek Life office know that you are interested in COB or in any sororities that might be taking girls in the spring.

[KSUViolet06]

I avoided that point because I didn't want to be the "meanie" who pointed it out.

We are sorry you are hurt, but to be honest, you COULD be at a retreat right now.

Would it have been the retreat of your most favorite chapter? No. But you'd have a bid and could at least be seeing if it's something you were interested in.

It's a moot point now, as I'm sure you have your reasons and you're entitled to them. I have heard that some Bama sororities have spring recruitment, but that depends on the number of spring openings they have, and whether they choose to fill them via COB or just wait until formal.

It all depends on the numbers. Keep in mind that chapters are reporting NM classes of over 100 women at this point so spring recruitment is not a guarantee.

The Greek Life Office will probably know more about that once it gets closer to spring.

Good luck to you!

[dgdramadawg]

There is, of course, nothing we can say to make this any easier on you.

But, not to pile on or anything, I did speak with a PNM from your school yesterday who was very sad because she had been released from recruitment. She would have given anything to be invited to pref at even just one of the houses. She would have loved to take your place at pref for the house you felt you weren't right for because an invite to ANY house would have been better than feeling the truly terrible feeling she felt when she was released.

Spring recruitment is not common at Bama. Get in touch with the Greek life office and they can give you information about COB, if there is going to be any COB at all this fall. If you truly want to be Greek at Bama, your best bet would be to buckle down, work on your grades, get involved on campus, and try again next fall.

[Amicus]

My daddy told me that it is better to be 30 and never married than being 40 and paying alimony.

The young woman who initiated this thread said that she felt that there wasn't a fit between her and the one chapter that invited her to its preference night activities. Therefore the young woman decided to withdraw from recruitment and take her chances on a future rush.

I keep reading on various threads on the GreekChat forums that joining a sorority is a lifetime commitment. It is also a major financial commitment.

If the young woman in question realized that she felt no connection between her self and the sorority and decided to withdraw, I for one think she did a wise thing. How many postings are there concerning an unhappy pledge disrupting the equilibrium of a house because she didn't want to be in that house in the first place?

You say that there were other young women would have taken an invitation to that house, to any house in fact. Do such young women want to be members of that sorority or do they want two or three Greek letters on a sweatshirt?

I know women who married for the sake of being married. They didn't love the men they married. Or they married an addict, an abuser or an adulterer just so they could have a wedding, a ring and to tell the world that they are a MRS. Often these women paid a price that was more than the price of the ring, the wedding cake or the marriage license.

Whether the young woman finds her place in or out of the Greek life on her campus, I wish her only the best

[33girl]

Oh for crying out loud in a bucket.

We were just correcting her when she said she wasn't chosen by ANYONE. Also reminding her that in a competitive system such as Alabama's, your pre-freshman rush is often your ONLY chance to be Greek. Some women are lucky and re-rush and receive bids to groups they like, but it is by no means a sure or even semi-sure thing.

If she doesn't want to be in that chapter, that's fine. But to pretty much say that a chapter wanting her didn't matter at all...that's doing to that chapter what she feels the other chapters did to her.

And I'm sure there are women who wanted to be members of THAT sorority, and also women who would take a bid from ANY sorority and make it work. I don't know if you understand the chapter sizes we're talking about but there are over 200 women in almost every chapter. To say you have absolutely nothing in common with any woman in the chapter is kind of mathematically impossible.

[Drolefille]

I'm sorry, I'd like to know how joining a chapter that is not your favorite, or even one you might not feel a connection to, in any way similar to marrying an addict, abuser, or an adulterer?

/offensive.

[KSUViolet06]

Marriage is not recruitment.

Analogy fail.

People not in sororities should probably refrain from giving advice.

[33girl]

Those are probably the same women who wouldn't date the "nice guys" and only liked "bad boys." If they would have given the "nice guys" a chance, they would have been SO SO SO HAPPEEEEEEE!

Yeah, after my recent experience with a self-described "nice guy" who turned out to be a flaming a-hole, I didn't even want to touch that part of the post for fear of going off. Thanks for the partial diffusal.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Those are probably the same women who wouldn't date the "nice guys" and only liked "bad boys." If they would have given the "nice guys" a chance, they would have been SO SO SO HAPPEEEEEEE!

Yeah, after my recent experience with a self-described "nice guy" who turned out to be a flaming a-hole, I didn't even want to touch that part of the post for fear of going off. Thanks for the partial diffusal.

Oh God, Nice Guy Syndrome. There's an XKCD for that.