Involved sorority collegiate turns invisible alumna

[AnchorAlumna]

A mention on another thread made me wonder: do you have members who were super-involved as collegiates, but don't participate as alumnae?

I know of at least 2 past college chapter presidents who have never ever been involved as an alum, even to the point of never having attended an alum group meeting.

In once case, I can kind of understand - her year as president of a struggling chapter was highly stressful. But the other had a successful presidency, with her chapter pledging quota, scoring high academically and earning many honors and awards.

You'd think she'd at least be curious enough to attend ONE meeting!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

A mention on another thread made me wonder: do you have members who were super-involved as collegiates, but don't participate as alumnae?

I know of at least 2 past college chapter presidents who have never ever been involved as an alum, even to the point of never having attended an alum group meeting.

In once case, I can kind of understand - her year as president of a struggling chapter was highly stressful. But the other had a successful presidency, with her chapter pledging quota, scoring high academically and earning many honors and awards.

You'd think she'd at least be curious enough to attend ONE meeting!

Yes. We have those.

It's mostly due to burnout.

Whether your chapter struggles or is typically very successful in recruitment, there is STILL burnout because every chapter has its own issues that can be very stressful. Recruitment success doesn't always = no one gets burned out.

Example: Her chapter could have matched quota all the time, but had say, a serious participation issue that left 10% of the chapter doing all the work. Or no problem with recruitment, but a problem with absent juniors and seniors that places a heavy burden on everyone else.

Also, a lot of the all-around Suzy Sigmas have been Suzy Sigma since freshman year and they just need a year or 2 break. It happens.

[excelblue]

I'd imagine that you average super-involved and bubbly person is the type that also gets super-involved in their current task. Straight out of college, they may have a lot of new stuff to handle, such as getting settled in a job, etc. Such things may get super stressful and time consuming, and it may be a while before they have time to get involved again.

[33girl]

Hell, we have super-involved people on a NATIONAL level (like ex-councillors) that fall off the face of the earth.

But at any rate - yes, it can be burnout. It can also be that she liked and was exceptionally good at being an XYZ in her chapter and her school, but she has little to no interest in the national sorority as a whole.

I also would like to mention that the president is VERY often not the most liked or "model" sister in the chapter. Often, it's who wants to do it, or can be talked into doing it.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I am one!

One of the problems with being an officer of a struggling chapter is that it often gets to the point where it feels like chapter vs. HQ. After years of being on the chapter side, it is hard to turn around and flip sides, in a way. I'm sure there are others around who know what I mean.

[KSUViolet06]

There is also some reluctancy to get involved if you move somewhere after graduation with which you aren't familiar.

Example: If you are a former chapter president from Small College in PA (where every single alumna in the area is from your chapter), and you relocate to Big Southern Town post-graduation (where everyone is from Big Southern University), you may be reluctant to get involved because everyone comes from a Big Southern University frame of reference and that is SO different from your college experience.

Not everyone is good at just jumping into alumnae life in a place that's culturally different. It takes time.

[33girl]

I know that one of our most active alum chapters is Nova (Northern Virginia) and most people have said that's because pretty much everyone in it is a transplant to the area - they were looking for a way to connect with other people because they knew no one and ASA was it. That's a lot different than when you have your family, college friends and sometimes HS friends fairly nearby.

Actually, I was thinking about a part of this topic the other day. Sometimes I think Facebook has actually harmed national involvement more than it's helped. I mean, you can get on the computer and immediately be reconnected with every sister you went to college with and talk to them every day, without having to do all the backstory explaining you always need to do with new people. If you already have that support system you often don't try to search for another one.

[KSUViolet06]

There's also a level of insularity and chapter-centricity (is that even a word? lol) with some chapters.

Like, the women from a certain chapter tend to think "Chapter First, Sorority Second" so it doesn't occur to them to get involved post-graduation because XYZ = XY chapter, and why would they want to branch out?

[33girl]

Welllll....that's the way we rush, isn't it?

I don't think any NPC can gripe about that until rush stops =ing "the women in the sororities pick the girls they like the most and the rushees pick the sorority they feel the most comfortable with."

[littleowl33]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

There is also some reluctancy to get involved if you move somewhere after graduation with which you aren't familiar.

Example: If you are a former chapter president from Small College in PA (where every single alumna in the area is from your chapter), and you relocate to Big Southern Town post-graduation (where everyone is from Big Southern University), you may be reluctant to get involved because everyone comes from a Big Southern University frame of reference and that is SO different from your college experience.

Not everyone is good at just jumping into alumnae life in a place that's culturally different. It takes time.

Aaaand that would be me.

I was SUPER involved as an undergrad and I was really psyched to be involved as an alum too. But I moved across the country to a new city where the vast majority of the alums are from one of the few chapters in the area, which are very different from mine. They're really nice women, but I went to the first few events and I haven't been back because I had pretty much zero in common with them besides our letters. Most of them were already friends with each other from undergrad and I was too intimidated to try to break in. I knew everyone in my chapter and I'm still very invested in what happens with them, but I guess I'm just not really feeling it on a national level at this point in my life... which I was surprised by since I loved the national-scale events I attended as an undergrad.

Actually, it was really heart-breaking for me, especially since I really miss my sisters and I've had trouble meeting people here. But I just don't think alumna involvement is in the cards for me here. I would still love to advise and maybe get involved as a regional officer someday, but nationals requires that I be at least 2 years out of undergrad before I can do any of that. Oh well.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Welllll....that's the way we rush, isn't it?

I don't think any NPC can gripe about that until rush stops =ing "the women in the sororities pick the girls they like the most and the rushees pick the sorority they feel the most comfortable with."

Ding ding.

I don't have the solution to that issue, but it's definitely a big reason why alumnae don't get involved.

Another thing = the focus on freshman PNMs that leads to 4 year burnout, but that is an entirely new thread and ball of wax.

I was significantly more ready to jump into alumnae activity just because I'd had fewer collegiate years under my belt and wasn't in the least bit burned out (you can't really get burned out in 2.5 years lol.)

[IrishLake]

I am of the same mind as littleowl. I just didn't click with the ladies I met in the local Cinci alumni group (mostly women from UC and MiamiU). Heck, I wasn't a super-involved undergrad. I participated, but never held an office. It wasn't until I was unemployed and 30 years old that I found the desire to do some volunteer work, which is what led me back to Theta. It was an added bonus that it led me back to my home chapter, but I would have happily gotten involved as an advisor to a different chapter.

Most of the gung-ho sisters from when I was an active are still gung-ho, but with current life activities. People can only do so much. I know of 4 women who were active with me who are involved in advisory roles, but not really involved with local alumnae groups.

[carnation]

I was involved with 3 different alum clubs when I was in grad school and later was on AAC when I taught at Auburn but for the last several years, we've lived too far from any chapters or alum clubs for me to be of any real use. When you have as many kids as I do, you can't just say, "I believe I'll drive an hour and a half to a meeting tonight, stay a couple of hours, and drive back." Too much stuff to do at home.

Ditto for helping a chapter. The nearest one is at least 2 hours away.

[Alumiyum]

I'm one. I've been out almost two years and there are two main reasons I'm not involved. The first is that I'm still in school (finishing my second bachelors, then grad school) at the same school were I was an active, and the closest alum group is for the most part from this same chapter...and I actually WANT to branch out. There are a lot of girls in that group that I really like, but I'd prefer to connect with them separately because there are also many that I butted heads with furiously as an active and it's just not worth it to continue that as an alum. I'm sure down the road we'll all laugh about it, but I don't think we'll get along that well at this point. The second is burnout. I wouldn't call myself super involved because I basically showed up for only required events my senior year since I was taking all studios but before that I was pretty involved. I'd like a break where I'm not HERE so I can get away from all the drama and politics I hear about (my roomie is an active) and such before getting involved as an alum. I plan on joining a group once I leave this particular town, which will probably be in about two years. Until then I pay dues and help my old chapter with recruitment. I DO plan on being an active alumna of my organization down the road because I am very much invested in both my chapter and the international organization...just not yet.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by littleowl33

Aaaand that would be me.

I was SUPER involved as an undergrad and I was really psyched to be involved as an alum too. But I moved across the country to a new city where the vast majority of the alums are from one of the few chapters in the area, which are very different from mine. They're really nice women, but I went to the first few events and I haven't been back because I had pretty much zero in common with them besides our letters. Most of them were already friends with each other from undergrad and I was too intimidated to try to break in. I knew everyone in my chapter and I'm still very invested in what happens with them, but I guess I'm just not really feeling it on a national level at this point in my life... which I was surprised by since I loved the national-scale events I attended as an undergrad.

Actually, it was really heart-breaking for me, especially since I really miss my sisters and I've had trouble meeting people here. But I just don't think alumna involvement is in the cards for me here. I would still love to advise and maybe get involved as a regional officer someday, but nationals requires that I be at least 2 years out of undergrad before I can do any of that. Oh well.

the same thing happened to me at the first 2 cities i lived in out of college. one of my chapter sisters advised me to not join the alumnae chapter in city #1 because she had given them a chance and did not feel a connection. i should have given them a chance and seen for myself(especially because this particular sister had a bit of a negative outlook all the time), but i didn't. i did join the city's alumnae panhellenic and enjoyed that very much, but i did have friends from other fsu sororities who were members.

in city #2, i tried to make a connection with our local alumnae chapter, but they were mostly from the same college chapter and it was hard to break in. the first time, i gave up. several years passed and i decided to try again and i approached it a little differently. the first time around, i expected people to come up to me and make me feel at home, and they didn't. the 2nd time, i went in with a different attitude-i pretended that i was the established member and i rushed them. it worked. i ended up holding several offices during the time i lived there, including president. it was worth the 2nd effort and i made sure that any newcomers were made to feel welcome and wanted.