Involved sorority collegiate turns invisible alumna

[littleowl33]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

There is also some reluctancy to get involved if you move somewhere after graduation with which you aren't familiar.

Example: If you are a former chapter president from Small College in PA (where every single alumna in the area is from your chapter), and you relocate to Big Southern Town post-graduation (where everyone is from Big Southern University), you may be reluctant to get involved because everyone comes from a Big Southern University frame of reference and that is SO different from your college experience.

Not everyone is good at just jumping into alumnae life in a place that's culturally different. It takes time.

Aaaand that would be me.

I was SUPER involved as an undergrad and I was really psyched to be involved as an alum too. But I moved across the country to a new city where the vast majority of the alums are from one of the few chapters in the area, which are very different from mine. They're really nice women, but I went to the first few events and I haven't been back because I had pretty much zero in common with them besides our letters. Most of them were already friends with each other from undergrad and I was too intimidated to try to break in. I knew everyone in my chapter and I'm still very invested in what happens with them, but I guess I'm just not really feeling it on a national level at this point in my life... which I was surprised by since I loved the national-scale events I attended as an undergrad.

Actually, it was really heart-breaking for me, especially since I really miss my sisters and I've had trouble meeting people here. But I just don't think alumna involvement is in the cards for me here. I would still love to advise and maybe get involved as a regional officer someday, but nationals requires that I be at least 2 years out of undergrad before I can do any of that. Oh well.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by littleowl33

Aaaand that would be me.

I was SUPER involved as an undergrad and I was really psyched to be involved as an alum too. But I moved across the country to a new city where the vast majority of the alums are from one of the few chapters in the area, which are very different from mine. They're really nice women, but I went to the first few events and I haven't been back because I had pretty much zero in common with them besides our letters. Most of them were already friends with each other from undergrad and I was too intimidated to try to break in. I knew everyone in my chapter and I'm still very invested in what happens with them, but I guess I'm just not really feeling it on a national level at this point in my life... which I was surprised by since I loved the national-scale events I attended as an undergrad.

Actually, it was really heart-breaking for me, especially since I really miss my sisters and I've had trouble meeting people here. But I just don't think alumna involvement is in the cards for me here. I would still love to advise and maybe get involved as a regional officer someday, but nationals requires that I be at least 2 years out of undergrad before I can do any of that. Oh well.

the same thing happened to me at the first 2 cities i lived in out of college. one of my chapter sisters advised me to not join the alumnae chapter in city #1 because she had given them a chance and did not feel a connection. i should have given them a chance and seen for myself(especially because this particular sister had a bit of a negative outlook all the time), but i didn't. i did join the city's alumnae panhellenic and enjoyed that very much, but i did have friends from other fsu sororities who were members.

in city #2, i tried to make a connection with our local alumnae chapter, but they were mostly from the same college chapter and it was hard to break in. the first time, i gave up. several years passed and i decided to try again and i approached it a little differently. the first time around, i expected people to come up to me and make me feel at home, and they didn't. the 2nd time, i went in with a different attitude-i pretended that i was the established member and i rushed them. it worked. i ended up holding several offices during the time i lived there, including president. it was worth the 2nd effort and i made sure that any newcomers were made to feel welcome and wanted.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

One of the problems with being an officer of a struggling chapter is that it often gets to the point where it feels like chapter vs. HQ. After years of being on the chapter side, it is hard to turn around and flip sides, in a way. I'm sure there are others around who know what I mean.

I see what you're getting at, but alumnae chapters =/= HQ. Alumnae are just...alumnae.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

There is also some reluctancy to get involved if you move somewhere after graduation with which you aren't familiar.

I was going to say that's all the better reason to join, unless you end up in a city where most of the alumnae are from the same chapter, and the culture is totally different.

Originally Posted by 33girl

I know that one of our most active alum chapters is Nova (Northern Virginia) and most people have said that's because pretty much everyone in it is a transplant to the area - they were looking for a way to connect with other people because they knew no one and ASA was it.

Yeah, our DC chapter (of which I am an officer) is like that. We have members from SO many chapters/cities, no one feels singled out because it is such a mix. Most of our members are single, young professionals, often recent transplants. I'd imagine our NYC, Boston, Chicago, and LA chapters are like that too, since large cities usually=lots of transplants.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

I see what you're getting at, but alumnae chapters =/= HQ. Alumnae are just...alumnae.

I was going to say that's all the better reason to join, unless you end up in a city where most of the alumnae are from the same chapter, and the culture is totally different.

Yeah, our DC chapter (of which I am an officer) is like that. We have members from SO many chapters/cities, no one feels singled out because it is such a mix. Most of our members are single, young professionals, often recent transplants. I'd imagine our NYC, Boston, Chicago, and LA chapters are like that too, since large cities usually=lots of transplants.

If i actually end up moving out here we're going to have to meet

[33girl]

Originally Posted by LouisaMay

Many of them believed that being involved in an alumnae chapter would be as time-consuming and business-oriented as operating a collegiate chapter (paperwork, deadlines, etc.).

One of the recently graduated girls from Gannon went to alum Panhel with me (I was an APH member at large before there was an ASA alum chapter here) and she was like "do we recite the Panhellenic creed?" I had to tell her many of the current APH members probably didn't remember it. She had the same fears though - that it would be too much to do and take up too much time to get involved as an alum.

Originally Posted by violetpretty

How would you suggest changing that for the better? Each NPHC group has stereotypes, good or bad, that are pretty consistently agreed upon. I don't think there are 26 unique niches to be filled, nor would I want my sorority to have a national stereotype.

I think one of the best ways to increase the chances of alumnae involvement is for collegians to attend Convention/regional conferences/other events with other chapters. I know this sounds cheesy and idealistic, but the beauty of the NPC is that each group has a variety of chapters and they all take on different personalities, but you all took the same Initiation vows, and that is what binds you. Once you meet women from tons of different chapters, you realize that despite your different experiences, you probably do have a lot in common. I was astonished at how many women I click with from so many chapters of my sorority.

That's what I would suggest too. Unfortunately, there's usually only a few collegians that get to do that, and as far as the rest, they really can't process it. It would be nice if there were just purely social events that whole chapters could attend to get to know each other.

Quite frankly, there are times when XYZ at State U is the "cool" chapter on campus and wants nothing to do with XYZ at Cuckoo Colllege who is the "nerdy" chapter on their campus if they come to visit. You can talk to them about vows and bonds till you're blue in the face, but it doesn't always work that way. I wish it did.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Like, the women from a certain chapter tend to think "Chapter First, Sorority Second" so it doesn't occur to them to get involved post-graduation because XYZ = XY chapter, and why would they want to branch out?

Originally Posted by 33girl

Welllll....that's the way we rush, isn't it?

I don't think any NPC can gripe about that until rush stops =ing "the women in the sororities pick the girls they like the most and the rushees pick the sorority they feel the most comfortable with."

How would you suggest changing that for the better? Each NPHC group has stereotypes, good or bad, that are pretty consistently agreed upon. I don't think there are 26 unique niches to be filled, nor would I want my sorority to have a national stereotype.

I think one of the best ways to increase the chances of alumnae involvement is for collegians to attend Convention/regional conferences/other events with other chapters. I know this sounds cheesy and idealistic, but the beauty of the NPC is that each group has a variety of chapters and they all take on different personalities, but you all took the same Initiation vows, and that is what binds you. Once you meet women from tons of different chapters, you realize that despite your different experiences, you probably do have a lot in common. I was astonished at how many women I click with from so many chapters of my sorority.

Unfortunately, it's a vicious cycle. We can't expect our members to become super-involved alumnae if they don't see examples of involved alumnae as collegians.

[carnation]

Programming that attracts every member is important but hard to do. When I was in the Arkansas and Honolulu alum chapters, about 10% of us were under 25 and the rest were blue-haired. When rush was over, it was hard to find much common ground!