Greeks dating GDI's

[kittykatsz]

Hey everyone, I'm currently a GDI (as the greek's refer to me as), but I'm thinking of rushing next fall. Anyways, my bf just joined a fraternity and apparently all of his brothers are giving him crap about dating a GDI. We've been dating for almost 2 years, but I just don't see why a greek dating a GDI is taboo. Can someone explain this to me? Being a GDI, this leads my bf and other frat friends who are dating GDI's seriously to wonder if they can still pin/lavaliere their girlfriends. Yes? No? What are the rules for these types of things? Thank you in advance to anyone who replies!

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by kittykatsz

Hey everyone, I'm currently a GDI (as the greek's refer to me as), but I'm thinking of rushing next fall. Anyways, my bf just joined a fraternity and apparently all of his brothers are giving him crap about dating a GDI. We've been dating for almost 2 years, but I just don't see why a greek dating a GDI is taboo. Can someone explain this to me? Being a GDI, this leads my bf and other frat friends who are dating GDI's seriously to wonder if they can still pin/lavaliere their girlfriends. Yes? No? What are the rules for these types of things? Thank you in advance to anyone who replies!

Let your boyfriend research and figure out whether or not he can still pin/lavaliere you.

As for this whole dating a GDI thing, that probably has to do with the social aspects, and perks, of being in Greek lettered organizations. Such things that seem important when you are a college student become less important years later.

[knight_shadow]

1. I don't understand the "Greek vs GDI" thing, but apparently it's a big deal at some schools

2. You need to let your BF worry about finding the details about pinning/lavaliering, as it varies from organization to organization.

ETA: DrPhil types faster than I do. I owe her a soft cookie.

[wareagle93]

I totally mean this in the nicest way possible, but, who cares what other people think? Just be yourself and hopefully your boyfriend will continue to appreciate you for who you really are. Dr. Phil made a great point about this whole situation appearing to be more serious than it actually is/should be.

Knight, I agree on point #1. It depends on the people, I suppose. I am a Freshman at Auburn and I'm in a Fraternity. My girlfriend, who I met down here, is also a Freshman, and just so happens to belong to a sorority. With that being said, before we officially became involved in a relationship, I went on dates with quite a few girls, with the greater percentage being Independent. For me, personally, I could really care less if someone of the opposite sex I was interested in was involved in Greek Life.

The campus really has a friendly atmosphere, and while Greek Life does play a role on the campus, it does not dominate. But, with it being an SEC school with a large Greek Life (in comparison to other schools), there are quite a few people (both males and females) that do not feel the way I do on the whole "Greek vs. Independent" debate.

[Psi U MC Vito]

I never understood the whole "Independent" thing. Unless you plan on going through college without making any kind of connections with anybody, you aren't independent.

[JDCookMS]

1. Being able to pin/lavaliere depends on your organization, so it would depend on what his particular fraternity says.

2. I transferred from a SEC school (Mississippi State) with a large Greek population and there was a lot of talk about the whole greek dating an independent deal and basically what it boiled down into was the view that if you are not part of the greek life system, then you're not really anybody of importance (unless you're high in the ranks of the student association) and why should they waste their time with you. If you were somebody worth going out with, you would be part of the ~1000 women in an panhellenic sorority.

3. I don't really get that, but being in a relationship with an independent myself, I can see some advantages to dating another greek. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy with my boyfriend, but he doesn't get a lot of the stuff going on with my fraternity, or why we have to do certain stuff and all that. My brothers give me a fair amount of hell for dating outside greek life.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by kittykatsz

Hey everyone, I'm currently a GDI (as the greek's refer to me as), but I'm thinking of rushing next fall. Anyways, my bf just joined a fraternity and apparently all of his brothers are giving him crap about dating a GDI. We've been dating for almost 2 years, but I just don't see why a greek dating a GDI is taboo. Can someone explain this to me? Being a GDI, this leads my bf and other frat friends who are dating GDI's seriously to wonder if they can still pin/lavaliere their girlfriends. Yes? No? What are the rules for these types of things? Thank you in advance to anyone who replies!

Sometimes when guys first join a fraternity, a certain amount of crap about ANY girl they're dating is expected. Especially if it's a longterm relationship. A lot of times it's a testing kind of thing. Then the guys get used to the girl and everything's fine.

Be as sweet as pie to his brothers AND their girlfriends and make them feel like a-holes for saying anything unkind about you. If you want to rush, go ahead and good luck, but do it for YOU, not because you feel like you have to (not that I get that vibe from you at all).

As far as pinning, that's something determined by his chapter/org. If his org says he can't lavalier a non-Greek, he can just get you a nice big ol' cocktail ring instead.

[ComradesTrue]

rant/

I despise the term GDI.

/end rant

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Sometimes when guys first join a fraternity, a certain amount of crap about ANY girl they're dating is expected. Especially if it's a longterm relationship. A lot of times it's a testing kind of thing. Then the guys get used to the girl and everything's fine.

Be as sweet as pie to his brothers AND their girlfriends and make them feel like a-holes for saying anything unkind about you. If you want to rush, go ahead and good luck, but do it for YOU, not because you feel like you have to (not that I get that vibe from you at all).

As far as pinning, that's something determined by his chapter/org. If his org says he can't lavalier a non-Greek, he can just get you a nice big ol' cocktail ring instead.

This. I was going to respond that it just sounds to me like this is the one thing they've found that they can pick on him about. This is what guys do. I wouldn't worry too much about it. My experience has been that sorority women care more about this issue than fraternity men.

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

rant/

I despise the term GDI.

/end rant

Me too! Especially because I think it is used inappropriately in many circumstances. If I do understand, it really refers to anti-Greeks, not non-Greeks. I have friends who aren't Greek but would like to be (they just aren't for whatever reason) or still respect the system. That's hugely different from the people who think the Greeks serve no purpose in the community (ironically, one of the first upperclassmen I dealt with at SC practically kicked a few people off the stairs when we were blocking her path! I'm happy to say that I know very few people who are truly "GDI" in that sense).

Side note: why is topic so popular now?

[dandrewporter]

I have to play devil's advocate a bit here. I know it sounds harsh, but most of the issue with Greek & GDI relationships all fall back on inclusion.

If you're a proclaimed GDI (We refer to them as Nons or Potentials; depending) then you haven't had the experience that is Greek life. Simply put: You're not one of us. You don't understand the importance of the things we do in the same way that a sorority girl does. They have the same experiences relating to rituals, learning creeds, and the pledge process that changes a person. You haven't had that, and while you may still be supportive of him eventually things of that nature will come between you.

His brothers are giving him a hard time because they know it, just as I do, and they're preparing him. Either he is going to not let you go and he will pass through their tests. Or he will dump you for a sorority girl before the the end of 2012. Either way he will still spend less time with you (this is why Greeks date Greeks) because you won't be allowed to participate with his new friends and new obligations. Greek events are for Greeks and you're not one.

All of that meanness aside. I hope that your relationship lasts. Maybe things will go different for you. Or maybe you'll become a sorority woman. No matter what happens. Good luck.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by dandrewporter

I have to play devil's advocate a bit here. I know it sounds harsh, but most of the issue with Greek & GDI relationships all fall back on inclusion.

If you're a proclaimed GDI (We refer to them as Nons or Potentials; depending) then you haven't had the experience that is Greek life. Simply put: You're not one of us. You don't understand the importance of the things we do in the same way that a sorority girl does. They have the same experiences relating to rituals, learning creeds, and the pledge process that changes a person. You haven't had that, and while you may still be supportive of him eventually things of that nature will come between you.

His brothers are giving him a hard time because they know it, just as I do, and they're preparing him. Either he is going to not let you go and he will pass through their tests. Or he will dump you for a sorority girl before the the end of 2012. Either way he will still spend less time with you (this is why Greeks date Greeks) because you won't be allowed to participate with his new friends and new obligations. Greek events are for Greeks and you're not one.

All of that meanness aside. I hope that your relationship lasts. Maybe things will go different for you. Or maybe you'll become a sorority woman. No matter what happens. Good luck.

I know plenty of Greeks who have dated/are dating non-Greeks. It's not as if all non-Greek relationships are destined to fail.

And I think some of these guys need to get lives if their missions in life are to weed out their brothers' non-Greek girlfriends.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by dandrewporter

I have to play devil's advocate a bit here. I know it sounds harsh, but most of the issue with Greek & GDI relationships all fall back on inclusion.

If you're a proclaimed GDI (We refer to them as Nons or Potentials; depending) then you haven't had the experience that is Greek life. Simply put: You're not one of us. You don't understand the importance of the things we do in the same way that a sorority girl does. They have the same experiences relating to rituals, learning creeds, and the pledge process that changes a person. You haven't had that, and while you may still be supportive of him eventually things of that nature will come between you.

His brothers are giving him a hard time because they know it, just as I do, and they're preparing him. Either he is going to not let you go and he will pass through their tests. Or he will dump you for a sorority girl before the the end of 2012. Either way he will still spend less time with you (this is why Greeks date Greeks) because you won't be allowed to participate with his new friends and new obligations. Greek events are for Greeks and you're not one.

All of that meanness aside. I hope that your relationship lasts. Maybe things will go different for you. Or maybe you'll become a sorority woman. No matter what happens. Good luck.

This may be one of the dumbest posts I've ever read on GC.

[dandrewporter]

You know. Devil's advocate is never a liked position. I'm not saying that it's going to happen, nor that I necessary approve of it. I just brought the other side of the argument to the thread.

[AOII Angel]

As Dr. Phil says, "The Devil doesn't need an advocate."