20something's BRUTALLY HONEST Retro Recruitment Thread

[KSUViolet06]

Love this story. Must read for fall PNMs.

[wsucalsigmakapp]

I had not read this until today,and I have to say I am glad to not know the who, what and where. I personally read the conclusion and I may be the only one but was happy to be delusional. And what I mean by that is without knowing what chapter was joined I can proudly hope she joined mine!! I would hope every sorority member, regardless of affiliation would wish for her to be a part of their organization because it sounds like it provided the support and love she needed! The "Haley" chapter is exactly what is needed!!!

[pinkglitter]

I really needed to read this. My recruitment starts tomorrow and one of the sororities I really like doesn't do mixers (or so I've heard) and that made me not like them. But now I think it may be a good thing.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by pinkglitter

I really needed to read this. My recruitment starts tomorrow and one of the sororities I really like doesn't do mixers (or so I've heard) and that made me not like them. But now I think it may be a good thing.

You will hear LOTS of silly rumors where fraternity interaction is concerned. The two biggest are:

- "XYZ never has mixers."
- "ABC only mixes with PQ fraternity (whether PQ is top or bottom of the social ladder)."

Unless a chapter is on social probation, neither of these are true. Social interaction is a component of EVERY chapter's membership experience and a chapter that never has any mixers would probably be questioned by their HQ as to what their problem is. Are there times when it seems a fraternity and sorority are joined at the hip? Yes. But that doesn't mean that you can't break out and socialize with who YOU want to socialize with. You may be the change that sisters have been waiting for.

[Cheerio]

--bumping--

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by Jen

I think you meant a 180 =)

Yeah, that's it. Thanks Jen.

[20something]

Ha, yeah, 180 for sure.

OK, back to business. I think I'm going to combine Christmas break + first night of recruitment.

So I finished first term freshman year with a 3.924 GPA. I was thrilled because I knew that would be good for recruitment, and I was nowhere near the cutoff that prevented you from rushing.

Over Christmas, my mom and I went out and bought outfits for recruitment. My dad was kind of opposed to me pledging at that point and said I would have to pay my dues myself (he later reneged on this and loved my sorority and said it was a really good decision for me to join). Also, a friend came to visit. 20something Roommate's winter formal date, one of our close guy friends who wanted to pledge MOR/Central, came to visit me. He lived far away but was in my state for the holidays. We went to see Ali, the Will Smith movie, and he spent the night at my place. I realized that although my roommate had been interested in him, we had a lot more chemistry than she and he ever did. Nothing happened at that visit but I was beginning to get really interested in him. It was a bit awkward though, and I realized that at the time, because my ex-boyfriend (the 2-month MOR/Central boyfriend who dumped me for not having sex with him) went to his high school and was pretty much his "in" at MOR/Central.

So I go back a few days early for recruitment so I can attend the final recruitment orientation. It was *so cold* that week and snowing! eep. I remember I went to a local restaurant the night recruitment started with a bunch of the Girls from Across the Street. We talked more openly together than we ever had before about how we all desperately wanted to join Peyton. I felt so warm and fuzzy and had a strong bond with them. One of them, though, did insist that she wanted to join Haley or nothing and we thought that was so weird.

My roommate and I had made a secret pact to join together no matter what. We knew that 20something Hallmate would probably not get Peyton as she had not been to many parties at all first term. We also knew that 20something Floormate was probably less likely than us to get Peyton. So we decided that if we got Peyton and they didn't, we would join. If one of the roommates got cut from Peyton, we would both go Haley.

The plot thickens.....

BRB....

ETA: Actually, I won't BRB because I have some business to attend to that I just got a phone call about. So I'll post about Night 1 tomorrow.

[AlwaysSAI]

I'm getting the feeling that you're not going to join Peyton. In fact, I think you're going to join a house you hadn't previously considered AT ALL--a house that has yet to even hit your radar.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by Zeta13Girl

I'm thinking that her and her roommate aren't going to join the same sorority because life is just kind of funny that way. And I always here girls say that just because it's the right sorority for your best friend doesn't mean its the right sorority for you.

I think so too. I think one will get cut from Peyton and the other will have an interesting decision to make despite her love for Peyton.

[kchaptergphib]

Originally Posted by 20something

My roommate and I had made a secret pact to join together no matter what.

*cringing* Terrible idea! I think you'll go Haley, anyway. And I think it's hilarious that roommate ended up marrying a brother of Violently Drunk.

[20something]

Hi all! I'm back in action. Sorry for the delay!

Originally Posted by kchaptergphib

*cringing* Terrible idea! I think you'll go Haley, anyway. And I think it's hilarious that roommate ended up marrying a brother of Violently Drunk.

Well, I later ended dating a member of Violently Drunk for 2 years. So go figure. I had the sense to get out though.

So... rush week starts! I could barely concentrate on the first week of classes! But I should mention one more thing that I believe I should have included in my first post. Sometime before the first night of rush, but after the dinner with the Girls from Across the Street, I found out that my University Big, the Peyton, would not be on campus for recruitment. She had come down with mono over Christmas break and was going to miss the whole first week of school and also recruitment week. This made me a bit nervous because it was basically like my biggest champion in Peyton would not be there during recruitment week... but I thought it would probably be ok. Right? Right??

SOOOOOOO.... night 1 of recruitment. Philanthropy night!

The dress for Philanthropy Night was a pair of casual pants or nice jeans along with a nice but casual top. The idea was that it would be something you'd wear to class, only what people wore to class at my school was usually more dressy that that. Hm. So basically what happened (and this is consistent with what happened when I went through on the other side too), all the PNMs come in wearing nice khakis (almost to a fault), and the sororities wear jeans because Panhel dictates they have to in order to be "casual." As far as tops most girls probably wore a nice dressy sweater because it was so cold that year. I wore a nice pair of khakis (no doubt) with a striped wool mock turtleneck sweater. I still have and love that sweater. It had horizontal stripes of gray, deep purple, and orange. It might sound a little weird but it works well with my coloring. The only thing that was upsetting was that it had snowed over Christmas break and indeed snowed again before the first night of recruitment (the night I went out with the Girls from Across the Street), so Panhel made a decree that everyone HAD to wear sneakers, when before the dictate had been "sneakers or casual flats." (Again, Panhel always forces actives to wear sneakers, but the PNMs usually sneak and wear casual flats, unless it's snowed and Panhel makes the sneaker decree.) I really did not like wearing sneakers with my outfit and felt like my sneakers did not go or match my outfit.

So.... the parties! The first night of recruitment we stuck with our Rho Chi groups, which were basically our halls, which was nice because Roommate and Hallmate came with me everywhere.

1. Peyton. I was so excited to go to Peyton! We entered and the girls were all singing and clapping and going crazy and they led us up the stairs to their dining room. They had removed all the tables and put down clear tarp on the floor. We were making... What the hell were we making? I think we were making quilt squares. This is sad because I know from the rest of my college career that Peyton changed their philanthropy craft every year and I think I'm thinking that they one they did my sophomore year was the one we did for some reason. ACK! I'm getting old. Anyway, we made quilt squares. I was picked up by someone I didn't know, a senior. She was extremely blond and didn't make particularly good conversation. I found that Peyton had a really awkward, obvious method of bumping. They had all the PNMs sitting in circle groups making the craft with their rushers, and then they would flash the lights and all the Peytons would jump up and move to another circle. It was really extremely obvious and particularly awkward since it was my first party of recruitment. On the other hand, I quickly realized that recruitment was a bit of an assembly line, which I think is a good thing to realize early on. I talked to probably 3-4 people. I don't remember how many. I thought it went fairly well.

2. The second party of the night was Nathan. I was picked up here by a girl who was a junior or senior. I quickly realized how intense the Nathans were. They were so proud to be Nathans! They clearly really and truly thought Nathan was the best place to be, period. They were going crazy! I don't even remember how we had time to make a craft because it seemed like all that was happened was the Nathans going crazy and chanting about how much they loved Nathan. I must have met 7-8 people, which at my school is pretty unusual for one night of recruitment. The craft was stamping designs onto baby caps and onesies (aw! I liked this). One thing happened that I didn't know what to make of, was that my rusher introduced me to the president of the chapter. I think somehow we were talking about hometowns and the rusher decided I just HAD to talk to the president of the chapter (who despite being from my town and our grandmothers being friends, I had never met... her family had gone up in the world I think! LOL). The president was really sweet to me and was wearing HUGE Nathan lavaliere earrings. I mean seriously huge; I haven't seen anything like them before or since, she must have special ordered them. I left Nathan feeling really good and overwhelmed by how much the Nathans loved their chapter. I wondered if it was some kind of good thing to be introduced to the President.

3. Next was Lucas. I was REALLY curious to see if Host Lucas (who I still liked) might pick me up. She did not, nor did the Lucas I knew from French class. I got another girl who was probably the most laid back person I had during all of recruitment. She had a sort of snorty laugh. Unlike the first two parties at Peyton and Nathan, the Lucases left their dining room tables out and we made the crafts on the tables. As a PNM, this was probably a slightly more pleasant experience, but it didn't allow the sisters to run around and go crazy like they had at Nathan or to a lesser extent Peyton (well, with Peyton, it was mostly them running between PNM circles). I won't say what the craft was at Lucas because it's a really common craft that's done nationally by Lucas chapters. I did think it was a really cool craft though and I had probably the best results with it of any craft project of the night. I just didn't know what to make of my rusher though. I didn't get much of a vibe from her at all! In retrospect, I'd say she seemed like a bit of a stoner or something. I do remember thinking that the Lucases had the best outfits of the night - a simple polo in their colors. Chapters at my school tended to wear either tshirts or polos in their colors (with the Panhel mandated jeans and sneakers) and I think overall from the PNM perspective the polo chapters looked more put-together than the tshirt chapters. So I left Lucas feeling somewhat bored.

4. Haley. I was getting tired but felt like I would at least see people I knew here. So I was extremely disappointed when I was picked up by someone I didn't know. Similar to Lucas, Haley left out their tables to do the craft project on and you only spoke to one rusher the entire night (although floating people might come and greet you, this happened at both Lucas and Haley). I won't say what Haley's craft was either (it's not a national one but it might be a give-away), but it involved a LOT of painting and was kind of messy, which was problematic. I was speaking to a junior who seemed sort of boring to me. From our conversation, I quickly realized that she was friends with a lot of the Haley members I danced with, yet I had NEVER met her. Didn't she socialize at all or go to fraternity parties? I pondered this in my head. On the other hand, this Haley was going to be the new member educator so she was able to talk about a lot of the events that Haley would be doing with their pledge class. That was pretty cool. Haley also wore polos which was a good thing. I remember looking around here and feeling like some of the other PNMs weren't as bored. From my perspective, I had been to two really high energy parties and then two much lower energy parties, and I was starting to feel drained.

5. Brooke. Again, I had the most negative idea of Brooke going in. I had a junior pick me up here. (In retrospect, I think it's interesting that juniors and seniors picked me up at every house the first night - I hate to say it, but at my school I think you can read a lot from that.) I really hit it off with this junior, though. I felt like of all the conversations I had that night it was the most normalized and just "getting to know you" type of conversation. Looking around at the Brookes though, I was not really sure I wanted to be a part of them. The Brooke craft is a nationally common one too so I'll remain mum on that. The Brookes had removed their tables, but their party still wasn't as high energy as Nathan's had been, or even maybe Peyton's. I mean, they didn't do the awkward bumping thing like Peyton. I think I must have talked to several different people but for some reason I only remember talking to the one girl who picked me up. I really did like her.

We went back to the dorms to discuss and rehash! The next afternoon we would find out where we were invited back; for skit night we could return to a maximum of 4 parties. I would say that my top two after the first night were Nathan (based on how awesome the party was) and Peyton (based on knowing all the girls I knew in Peyton). Then I would have chosen Haley and it would probably have been a tossup between Lucas and Brooke for the bottom places...

[VandalSquirrel]

Why do I think I know this school and who you are?

Must be deja vu all over again.

[20something]

For goodness' sake everyone! Hold your pants on! I am getting to it.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW??

Individuals
-Host Brooke was generally acknowledged to be a suckface by everyone who knew her. She did succeed in her goal of obtaining her M.R.S. degree.
-The ex boyfriend from fall semester freshman year was also generally acknowledged to be lame by people of my acquaintance (duh!).
-My Rho Chi turned out to be a Nathan! I was so happy she wasn't a Brooke.
-Hallmate never pledged a sorority. She rushed again sophomore year and again did not receive a bid. However, she gradually became my closest friend in college and also became the President of APO.
-I dated MOR/Central pledge for about 8 months and was madly, madly in love with him and wanted to date all four years of college, get married, etc. Unfortunately, he didn't feel quite the same way. We broke up and there was a lot of drama and it resulted in me being somewhat alienated from MOR/Central for the rest of my college career... But I still give him credit for making me feel confident in my decision to pledge Haley.
-Roommate and I roomed together in the Haley house sophomore year! However, tension gradually developed between us. I never warmed up to her boyfriend from Violent Drinking Frat. Early on sophomore year she set me up with a guy from Violent Drinking Frat (who, ironically, didn't really get along with her boyfriend) and that eventually caused even more tension. (I dated Violent Drinking Frat guy for 2 years.) Roommate also went through some tough times and took alum status with Haley after sophomore year. This led to us growing even more apart. No hard feelings though. That's life.
-Floormate and I lived in the house as sophomores and seniors and remained good friends. I saw her earlier this month.
-I remained really involved in dance and one of the Haley dancers became my big sister.
-The girl who wanted Haley or nothing, but went Peyton, completely changed her personality after joining Peyton. Then she abruptly deactivated after studying abroad junior year.
-The Girls from Across the Street essentially quit talking to me - not, I think, intentionally, but just due to the fact that they all went Peyton and it was awkward. Particularly after MOR/Central Pledge and I broke up, I seldom saw these girls anymore.
-University Big Peyton remained one of my close, close friends from college. She told me multiple times it was BS that I didn't receive a bid from Peyton and that if she had been there for recruitment it would not have happened. UB Peyton ultimately had a falling out with her sisters my junior year (this is my perspective, but it was them, not her. LOL). It was so bad she couldn't even find a roommate senior year - none of them would live with her off campus. So she lived in the Peyton house and was the only senior living in. She refused to quit Peyton even though she felt like her pledge sisters wanted her to because she was determined to make it a lifetime commitment and also say "screw you, you can't make me quit!" to them.
-The cool Lucas from my French class is one of the most successful people I know from college and has her own business.
-The girl from near me who preffed me at Haley's little sister later joined Haley, and then the youngest sister joined as well and is in my chapter currently! 3/3 on that family!
-I completely changed my opinion of the Haley president. Every time I think of my first impression of her - that she was too heavy - it literally makes me want to die of embarrassment that I judged her that way. She was one of the most amazing women and did so much for Haley. Not to mention she was hilarious and actually hung out at MOR/Central all the time - although I didn't realize it, because she was mostly hanging out with the SENIOR MOR/Centrals at bars and stuff. HA. I was dumb.
-me. I stuck with Haley all four years and was an officer for two years. After freshman year I went out and bought a completely new wardrobe and was determined to be the best face for Haley possible. I remember that one of our pledges the next year told me that "You were so put-together I thought you were a Nathan" and I remember feeling so good about that. (If you haven't figured it out yet, Nathan is the top-tier group at my school.) I changed a lot of things about myself in college - some, I think, for really shallow reasons.

GLOs
Fraternities
-Hippie/Yuppie Frat got very poor numbers my year (I really think the strippers backfired) and went into a period of several years of serious struggle. I have heard that they have now recovered.
-Northern Jock Frat continued to unexpectedly snap up guys every year and have the biggest pledge classes on campus (just as they had my year!).
-MOR/Central Frat got their charter pulled the summer after my sophomore year. The members of MOR/Central tried to join a small, obscure NIC frat (and were indeed initiated/chartered), but the local IFC and Greek Life Office refused to recognize them. At that point the upstart obscure NIC frat withered and died and the former members of MOR/Central pledged ANOTHER frat that was already on campus and struggling (which hasn't figured into my story). CRAZY. I grew to hate MOR/Central.
-Just Plain Nerdy Frat continued to struggle and shows no signs of getting out of their struggles on my campus.
-Nerdy Campus Leader Frat's reputation increased by leaps and bounds and remained my favorite place to hang out for most of college.
-Violent Drinking Frat became a place I hung out due to dating a guy there for two years; seeing this place really harmed my opinion of fraternities as a whole, I'm sorry to say.
Sororities
-Nathan - a lot of people hated on Nathan on my campus, just because they were the most popular. I had to roll my eyes at some things about them - their monied status, for example - but I always really did like their girls. I enjoyed it when Haley and Nathan did events together a lot and by my junior year (when the social scene and cliques simmer down a bit) I hung out with quite a few Nathans.
-Lucas - I didn't really have a feel for Lucas during recruitment, but my opinion of them seriously lowered post-recruitment. They were the "hot" sorority and I felt (especially after I became a sorority officer) they didn't have their proverbial shit together. Risk management/PR/administrative issues, etc.
-Brooke - I really think I had a opinion that was off during recruitment. Brooke is not a bad place or a bad chapter. NO, I don't think I would have EVER fit in there. I think that I would have fit in better with the North Face-wearing, debutante Nathans than the Brookes - even though I definitely didn't have the economic background to become a Nathan! The Brookes still have a lot of athletes who aren't super-girly, but I began to realize that they pledged a lot of really nice MOR girls as well. I remember thinking right after Bid Day, "Why did all these fairly nice girls in my class go Brooke?" LOL. Too bad they got a suckface like Host Brooke, but Brooke is really a strong chapter in many respects.
-Peyton - I was still wistful about Peyton for a while. At the same time, my opinion of them altered as well. I will always commend the Peytons for being the leaders in community service on my campus. But frankly, the Peytons were always worried about trying to compete with Brooke and Lucas and to not appear to be like Haley AT ALL COSTS. So they really emphasized the social strengths of Peyton (knowing this would influence girls who had heard negative things about Haley's social life) every year. I began to think they almost had TOO many socials with fraternities - maybe this was sour grapes, but it's how I felt. I was also weirded out by some of their social behavior - I remember my sophomore rush crush (who was a Haley legacy) went Peyton and I was crushed. Then on guys' bid day I saw her wearing a shirt that said "Save a horse, ride a Peyton." I remember thinking I'd lost her forever - and sure enough, she quit talking to me outside of our dance group and was even rude to me in the context of the dance group sometimes.

-HALEY. I love Haley. It was the perfect place for me. Could I have fit in at another place? More than likely. Would I have changed myself even more in another group, and partied more in another group? I'm almost sure I would have. I don't really believe that there's one place for everyone, but I think that Haley GREW me more. For example, I think that Peyton wouldn't have called me out on the bad drinking behaviors I developed in college. My Haley sisters did. And I grew up.

I had a lot of bad times in college, but Haley was there for all of it. I can say with 100% certainty that things got so bad with my two-year boyfriend in Violent Drinking Frat that after we broke up the summer before senior year I probably wouldn't have come back for senior year, if not for Haley. I was president and I couldn't let Haley down. When he kicked me out of his apartment that summer, the Haleys found me a place to live. TWICE.

Let me just say this: I thought during recruitment that I was too good for Haley. I was too social. Too pretty. Wrong. I wasn't good enough for her. There is no way I can ever repay what Haley gave me. There is no way I can imagine what I would have become without her. I am deadly serious when I say that I could have been found washed up in a ditch without my sisters. That is what they got me through.

And about Haley: they are thriving. My idea when I was an officer was that we should quit being embarrassed about being less social than other groups and not having mixers. We should just be proud of what we were. We were the most diverse sorority on campus and the most down to earth. We should promote that. Even the strategy I tried my sophomore year - dressing exactly like a Nathan - wasn't enough if I still cringed when the PNM asked me the dreaded question about fraternity mixers.

My senior year we had mixers with 3 different fraternities.

Last year quota at my school was 37. Haley pledged 40.

Are we "cool"? Probably not. Are we a sorority that turns girls into women and never turns its back on you? Without a doubt.