Do Sisterfriends of OUR Sorority really want help?

[celestial_blues]

Originally posted by Sexy Mocha:
I had to bring this back up...
Based on some recent experiences, I'd have to give a resounding NO to the original question. I think sisterfriends want our help...but only when and if it's convenient for them. I find myself shaking my head at some interests.

for me...honestly...its only when asked...not when convenient...and if i haven't asked...i usually don't appreciate it when someone assumes i am seeking answers to certain questions...when i have not posed a question...once again...i am speaking only for myself...



[This message has been edited by celestial_blues (edited July 29, 2001).]

[SweetestDiva]

Originally posted by Sexy Mocha:
I had to bring this back up...
Based on some recent experiences, I'd have to give a resounding NO to the original question. I think sisterfriends want our help...but only when and if it's convenient for them. I find myself shaking my head at some interests.

I would say that most anything an interest could ask can be found by doing a search. Yes, I asked some of the same repetitive questions at first, but after observing for awhile it's obvious that pretty much everything has been covered, from Rush attire to grad vs. undergrad membership to protocol for addressing members. Is there a way that you could just say membership-type questions won't be answered and just let the forum be for random discussion? Or is that the deal already? Just curious.

[Wonderful1908]

Soror LikeASista I agree with everything you said 100%!!!

As far as SF's go and the original question I think the answer is YES they do want OUR help, but SOME of them lack the patience, tack, common sense and discretion required of anyone seriously interested in OUR sorority. I am constantly giving SF's the benefit of the doubt, because I (only speaking for Wonderful1908) think some are just clueless ans sometimes just don't know any better. I have seen many SF's on this board and others, inquire on a topic and realize they were out of order and then move on and learn from their mistakes.
However these Sf's coming in here trying to have a tude, start mess, question what, why, how and when sorors respond has got to go. I have one key word for sf's HUMBLE yourself. In case you didn't know WE dont have to answer a single question, don't have to correct you, don't have to help you, don't have to even slightly push you in the right direction!! However so many of us do, so be grateful. Be patient and be humble, practice what you learn here and take it back with yu on your campus and in your communities and be grateful that you have ANY information that can actually help you on your quest!!
I have my letters. I have my pearls, so respect that Sf's, swallow your pride and shake it off!! Cause I promise if you can't handle the AKA greekchat board you WILL NOT be able to handle being an Alpha Kappa Alpha woman, but thats another story........

[Lovely]

I appreciate ALL the responses from Members. I've asked a question and been "checked". Of course my little feelings were hurt, but I got over it. I enjoy this forum with internet "friends" too much to trip.

[LikeASista]

Originally posted by Wonderful1908:
Soror LikeASista I agree with everything you said 100%!!!

Thanks, Soror!! It's nice knowing somebody's got my back.

------------------
No weapon formed against me shall prosper, for I am a child of the Most High God, Who sits upon the Throne of Grace, and rules all Heaven and Earth.

[Raynabennett]

I have obsserved for a while but i must add my piece (and peace). I am abundantly overjoyed at the blessing of this site. This fills such a void for sisterfriends. First, i must say the responsibility for the state of affairs lies with sf and members alike. We are priveleged (sp?) to receive any wisdom yes, but some sf are asking because there are varied approaches on campus. Some ol' school heads were saying "I would never ask info re: the sorority or express my interest, to anyone" I subcribed to this rationale too. But guess what, if you don't ask you shall not receive. If you can't state the problem you cannot find a solution. Because everything was so hush hush I
1) Didn't know there were resources on campus.
2) Was afraid to/was told i shouldn't confromt members
3) Didn't even know about the community service emphasis, at all!
4) Had unrealistic goals and expectations based on ignorance
5)Thought it was more like a club.

Of course this sounds unbelievable but it was true. I fault myself for not approaching a member or researching, but again I didn't think there was anything to research because i thought talk was off limits, just showing up for teas, interest letter, submitting grades I thought was the criteria for being chosen. Heck, I didn't even know about the application.

So I say is it all my faul?t No. It is the responsibility of the members to ILLUMINATE the campus through their deeds and actions, to SOME extent educate. Having no prior knowledge b4 undergrad and the don't ask don't tell policy it is not fair to think that sf's are in the know. Now this was some 8 years ago but i am sure there are some campuses where the members expect people to "know better". It is not always realistic/fair. My interest was also before all of the internet availability was out strong.

Since then I too have been reveling in the queendom of the sorority. The journey is just as important as getting there and infinite. And once I took my first step out of my comfort zone I truly understood what humility was. Knowing that your a** ain't always right and like the bible says. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. You can't know all the when and why right now. But devouring info, personally, electronically, etc. with the faith that you will discover.....using your mental eyes and doing research and me-search, stay with me now. That is going to help you on your quest. Be willing to grow. I have yet to go through any process but the gravity of my own personal "process" of searching and understanding, whoa! I am truly humbled.

THANKS TO ALL THAT HAVE WRITTEN AND WALKED BEFORE ME. I say in the words of JILL SCOTT, (also a lady of the sorority.) Don't let anything define you or anyone. Let it co-write you. Be the lead author though!

YOU LOVE ME
YOU MOVE ME
YOU EXCITE ME
YOU CO-WRITE ME
YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT!!!!!!

OH moving spirit of ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA Sorority

[Soulful Soror]

Originally posted by Raynabennett
I say in the words of JILL SCOTT, (also a lady of the sorority.)

Please excuse my ignorance, but I wasn't aware that J. S. was a soror? Where & when was she initiated? Please enlighten me.

[Raynabennett]

Well one of your members told me that she was discussing it during an interview, BET, I think. She also told me that Starr Jones was a member and had redecorated her dressing room w/ your colors. I was as intrigued as you. I wanna say she attended a school in Ohio, but don't quote me, it was a while ago. Sorry. I will hunt it down for you and my own edification as well.

[Soulful Soror]

Originally posted by Raynabennett
Well one of your members told me that she was discussing it during an interview, BET, I think. She also told me that Starr Jones was a member and had redecorated her dressing room w/ your colors. I was as intrigued as you. I wanna say she attended a school in Ohio, but don't quote me, it was a while ago. Sorry. I will hunt it down for you and my own edification as well.

Thanks...yes, I know about Soror Star...but, J.S.?...that's a first for me......I look forward to your follow up....and, if I get confirmation of whether or not she is a soror before you do, I'll post it....

See, SF's you never stop learning!

[MsFoxyLoxy77]

My mother always told me that you give help to those who help themselves. Vice versa I try to only ask questions after looking to whether I can solve the problem myself. I can speak for the other sisterfriends that I personally know and as good as their intentions are some want everything handed to them. I asked my friend who is also interested in Alpha Kappa Alpha and who was also an AKA teen when Alpha Kappa Alpha was founded to see if she actually knew and she said she thinks it's Jan. 10 1908 We are both just freshmans in college but girlfriend had the nerve to smile when I told her the correct answer Jan. 15 1908 and say that's why I can always count on you to help me. Come on say it loud aka1908.org...know your history, the founders, the incorporators, and atleast the name of the chapter at your school...Then one "might" "consider" asking for help.

[butterfly82]

I am a SF of the organization and I appreciate the little information i receive from members. I never ask for answers I know they can not give answers to. I respect the fact that some members are looking out for SF's, and some are trying to help. I look down on those who are unappreciative for the information that they recieve. I am humble of their decisions and I applaud them for their assistance.

[Raynabennett]

Saw the interview in Essence with JS. She said she attended Temple, no mention of greek life. I have been out of the chatroom scene for a while. That pesky little thing called life.....

I am still not giving up on my quest though...Although I have ventured into quite a few things since then.....

[Dancerella1908]

Greetings Sorors,

I do not place all sister friends in the same category. There are all types of people out there!! Some Serious minded and some just popularity seekers.(The latter,need not seek membership in MY sorority)!!!!

AKA is A SERIOUS MATTER and sister friends need to practice discretion and humility at ALL times. Unfortunately not enough do this.

I had a situation where a co-worker who is striving for AKA(and may I add showing NO DISCRETION) is going around telling people she's going to be on the next AKA line, using terminology like pledging and that she'll be going through alot because AKA's haze. Sorors I totally lost it when I found this out. When I asked her privately about the statements that were made of course she lied and said they weren't true,but then as we were talking another co-worker just walked up out of the blue and started talking to she and I about AKA and stated everything the girl had said above. She turned white as a sheet and said huh I don't know what you are talking about, and the co-worker now joined by another said yes, you do remember when you told us x,y and z.

I couldn't believe it. I had to go home and pray for her. People at would l say you two AKA's and I have to check them about that and say I'm the only one here who has earned her twenty pearls. But it's not their fault,she has them believing that she's got it like that. No humility, or discretion at all.

Once I clamed down I did speak to her about discretion, and that we do not pledge or haze in Alpha Kappa Alpha and if she wants to seek membership then her whole attitude needs to change quickly. Needless to say she just avoids me at work now. That was not my intent. My intent was to try and help guide her before she digs herself in a whole she can't escape. But you can't help everybody.

Even though I experienced this with this certain person,I would still view each sister friend on an individual basis. Just remember to approach a member only if your SERIOUS, and do it with respect,humility and discretion!!!!!!!!!

[Steeltrap]

Originally posted by Dancerella1908
Greetings Sorors,

I do not place all sister friends in the same category. There are all types of people out there!! Some Serious minded and some just popularity seekers.(The latter,need not seek membership in MY sorority)!!!!

AKA is A SERIOUS MATTER and sister friends need to practice discretion and humility at ALL times. Unfortunately not enough do this.

I had a situation where a co-worker who is striving for AKA(and may I add showing NO DISCRETION) is going around telling people she's going to be on the next AKA line, using terminology like pledging and that she'll be going through alot because AKA's haze. Sorors I totally lost it when I found this out. When I asked her privately about the statements that were made of course she lied and said they weren't true,but then as we were talking another co-worker just walked up out of the blue and started talking to she and I about AKA and stated everything the girl had said above. She turned white as a sheet and said huh I don't know what you are talking about, and the co-worker now joined by another said yes, you do remember when you told us x,y and z.

I couldn't believe it. I had to go home and pray for her. People at would l say you two AKA's and I have to check them about that and say I'm the only one here who has earned her twenty pearls. But it's not their fault,she has them believing that she's got it like that. No humility, or discretion at all.

Once I clamed down I did speak to her about discretion, and that we do not pledge or haze in Alpha Kappa Alpha and if she wants to seek membership then her whole attitude needs to change quickly. Needless to say she just avoids me at work now. That was not my intent. My intent was to try and help guide her before she digs herself in a whole she can't escape. But you can't help everybody.

Even though I experienced this with this certain person,I would still view each sister friend on an individual basis. Just remember to approach a member only if your SERIOUS, and do it with respect,humility and discretion!!!!!!!!!

Soror Dancerella,
How old is this woman? It sure sounds like she seriously lacks maturity and discretion. At the least, she's been watching too much School Daze.
If she avoids you after your talk, so be it. Alpha Kappa Alpha needs service-oriented, dedicated members, not folx with warped conceptions of the organization.

Steeltrap
8-EXO-00

[Nubian]

Although I am interested in another organization, I felt the need to comment on this topic.
The bottmom line as far as I'm concerned is, YES sisterfriends of each respective sorority DO want to be guided/helped along in their quest for sisterhood. While no member of any sorority is OBLIGATED to do anything, I think it is a blessing to give to others what has ben given to you.
This might be long...so if you lack patience you may want to scroll on down.
I attend an HBCU, needless to say an average 300-400 girls show up for AKA/Delta interest meetings. Granted, there are many on my campus that view sororities as "instant popularity". But, on the other hand, there are those of us who are genuinely excited about making a difference through service and sisterhood. A good friend of mine, who is an AKA told me that a member of the sorouty I am interested in told her "I got my letters, I don't care if we bring in any more members." That seems to be the sentiment among a lot of sorority members. I'm sorry, but this baffles me; how could one not want to share what they've been blessed with, how can one not want to contribute to the molding of strong, productive black women, how could one not want to continue the amazing legacy left by the org's founders??? While it is true that everyone is not deserving, this leaves those who are to wait in the wings for 5, 10 or 20 years. I find it hard to believe that organizations that were created in order to promote African-American unity, now thrive upon exclusion.
Every AKA/Delta/Zeta/SgRho on the face of the earth was once in the position of prospective member.I would even venture to say some once held sterotypes and misconceptions about their org. before becoming a member. But now that they are members and know the beauty, and honor of being a member, how could one not want to share that?

Sorry this is so long, the spirit moved me.