Texas A&M Recruitment...as a junior?

[amperches]

Hi everyone! I recently went through rush here at Texas A&M as a sophomore. I declined the bid I received from a sorority because it was not the sorority I wanted (I was not comfortable in the house). Since I declined on Bid Day, according to NPC rules, I am not allowed to rush for another year.

Since the next year I can rush will be my junior year, I was wondering if it is easier for juniors to rush? I have heard that juniors get "priority" over sophomores mainly because it is their last available year to rush, but I was unsure if this was true or not. I do want to rush again and hopefully this time get the sorority I want, but I don't want to make the mistake of going through again if there is no chance at all that I will get into a sorority as a junior.

Thanks and Gig Em!

[33girl]

How many groups did you have going into Pref Day this year? Did you have the maximum or just the one?

[amperches]

I had two groups going into Pref Night, and the maximum was three.

[DubaiSis]

I'm interested to hear the answer to this, as I can't imagine your chances are very good.

So you signed your pref card listing a house you knew you weren't going to accept?

[kddani]

Originally Posted by amperches

Hi everyone! I recently went through rush here at Texas A&M as a sophomore. I declined the bid I received from a sorority because it was not the sorority I wanted (I was not comfortable in the house). Since I declined on Bid Day, according to NPC rules, I am not allowed to rush for another year.

Since the next year I can rush will be my junior year, I was wondering if it is easier for juniors to rush? I have heard that juniors get "priority" over sophomores mainly because it is their last available year to rush, but I was unsure if this was true or not. I do want to rush again and hopefully this time get the sorority I want, but I don't want to make the mistake of going through again if there is no chance at all that I will get into a sorority as a junior.

Thanks and Gig Em!

I have a very hard time believing that a junior gets "priority" over a sophomore because it's their last year to rush... the only way they would get "priority" is if there were a separate junior quota or something like that.

Your chances are slim to none. You've gone through the recruitment process at a very competitive school. You were offered a bid. Many many women didn't even make it that far. It's even more impressive because you were a sophomore.

[EE-BO]

Originally Posted by kddani

I have a very hard time believing that a junior gets "priority" over a sophomore because it's their last year to rush... the only way they would get "priority" is if there were a separate junior quota or something like that.

Your chances are slim to none. You've gone through the recruitment process at a very competitive school. You were offered a bid. Many many women didn't even make it that far. It's even more impressive because you were a sophomore.

This is dead-on accurate. I am sorry amperches, but at a school like A&M rushing as a sophomore is difficult as it is. Now that you are looking at rushing as a junior- especially since you are already an A&M student and have gone through recruitment plus turned down a bid, in all honesty I do not see prospects for you in rush next year. You never know, but if you are asking the odds based on what info you have given us, they are not good at all.

If you really want to give sorority life a chance, doing what DubaiSis suggests is the only chance I can see at this point- and even then that is not necessarily going to be easy.

Why were you uncomfortable in that house? Members of that house clearly saw something in you that they thought made you worth bidding. Rush can be a very overwhelming process for PNMs, and it is not uncommon for young women to not get their first choices only to be very happy later when they accept the bid they received.

If you have any interest in giving that house a chance and can generate some sincere enthusiasm about it, call the Greek Life office TODAY, say you made a mistake, were overwhelmed by the process- whatever honest excuse you can offer, and see if there is a chance of accepting that bid.

I have no idea if it will be possible at this point (it is certainly nowhere close to certain or even likely), but under these circumstances it is worth at least asking provided you are willing to give that chapter a chance.

[amperches]

Originally Posted by EE-BO

This is dead-on accurate. I am sorry amperches, but at a school like A&M rushing as a sophomore is difficult as it is. Now that you are looking at rushing as a junior- especially since you are already an A&M student and have gone through recruitment plus turned down a bid, in all honesty I do not see prospects for you in rush next year. You never know, but if you are asking the odds based on what info you have given us, they are not good at all.

If you really want to give sorority life a chance, doing what DubaiSis suggests is the only chance I can see at this point- and even then that is not necessarily going to be easy.

Why were you uncomfortable in that house? Members of that house clearly saw something in you that they thought made you worth bidding. Rush can be a very overwhelming process for PNMs, and it is not uncommon for young women to not get their first choices only to be very happy later when they accept the bid they received.

If you have any interest in giving that house a chance and can generate some sincere enthusiasm about it, call the Greek Life office TODAY, say you made a mistake, were overwhelmed by the process- whatever honest excuse you can offer, and see if there is a chance of accepting that bid.

I have no idea if it will be possible at this point (it is certainly nowhere close to certain or even likely), but under these circumstances it is worth at least asking provided you are willing to give that chapter a chance.

I was uncomfortable in the house from day one. The sister who picked me up at the door seemed uninterested in telling me about her sorority, and when I would ask questions, she would not give me a clear answer or would deviate from my question completely. Later in the week, when I went back for Pref Night, I had expressed that I had found my home elsewhere. The sister with whom I was talking told me that she thought that was wonderful and that she wasn't going to try and force her sorority on me now because I had already found a home elsewhere. She also said that many of the girls they asked back were asked back to fill quota (apparently they never fill theirs). I thought that being energetic about one's sorority and trying to gain new members was what rush was all about. The fact that the sisters I spoke with were disinterested in their sorority turned me off from it and the fact that I was asked back only to fill quota, not because they truly wanted me, both angered and hurt me. I do not want to be a part of something due to numbers. I want to be with sisters who truly want me there and really care about me as a person, not as a number.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by amperches

I was uncomfortable in the house from day one. The sister who picked me up at the door seemed uninterested in telling me about her sorority, and when I would ask questions, she would not give me a clear answer or would deviate from my question completely. Later in the week, when I went back for Pref Night, I had expressed that I had found my home elsewhere. The sister with whom I was talking told me that she thought that was wonderful and that she wasn't going to try and force her sorority on me now because I had already found a home elsewhere. She also said that many of the girls they asked back were asked back to fill quota (apparently they never fill theirs). I thought that being energetic about one's sorority and trying to gain new members was what rush was all about. The fact that the sisters I spoke with were disinterested in their sorority turned me off from it and the fact that I was asked back only to fill quota, not because they truly wanted me, both angered and hurt me. I do not want to be a part of something due to numbers. I want to be with sisters who truly want me there and really care about me as a person, not as a number.

I bet she didn't mean for you to think you were asked back just to fill quota, but was speaking more freely because you said you didn't want that sorority. You have to be open enough to look past a couple of rushers who are a little inept. Remember, they're just 18-22 year old women, not professionals.

Regardless, you've learned your lesson. If you knew on pref night you had no intention whatsoever of pledging that sorority, you should have single preferenced. I don't usually encourage that, but if you know you will turn down a bid to another sorority, why risk binding yourself for a year? And once you have gotten a bid and will be prevented from rushing for a year, why not give it a try? You could always have de-pledged before initiation, but you might have found that the chapter is a great fit, just not good at recruitment. It sounds like alums and students from your school are telling you too bad. If you want to go through recruitment again, do it, but take their advice into account and know your chances are slim.

[33girl]

If a rushee straight up said to me "I've found my home elsewhere" before pref even STARTED I wouldn't be too excited about talking to her either and I probably would vent out anything else I was feeling.

Did the "home" you found (I'm assuming the other group you went to pref at) promise you a bid outright? If so, you should report them to Panhel. At any rate, to say such a thing to another sorority unless you are standing there with the bid card in your hand is a HUGE NO NO.

[EE-BO]

Originally Posted by amperches

I was uncomfortable in the house from day one. The sister who picked me up at the door seemed uninterested in telling me about her sorority, and when I would ask questions, she would not give me a clear answer or would deviate from my question completely. Later in the week, when I went back for Pref Night, I had expressed that I had found my home elsewhere. The sister with whom I was talking told me that she thought that was wonderful and that she wasn't going to try and force her sorority on me now because I had already found a home elsewhere. She also said that many of the girls they asked back were asked back to fill quota (apparently they never fill theirs). I thought that being energetic about one's sorority and trying to gain new members was what rush was all about. The fact that the sisters I spoke with were disinterested in their sorority turned me off from it and the fact that I was asked back only to fill quota, not because they truly wanted me, both angered and hurt me. I do not want to be a part of something due to numbers. I want to be with sisters who truly want me there and really care about me as a person, not as a number.

Thank you for clarifying. I know my way around the Texas system in general terms, but as a fraternity guy I am not intimately familiar with all of the minutiae of sorority rush. So on that score, I have to defer to the sorority members who have posted on the specifics of preffing/suiciding and what might have been best. You have heard from some of the best and most experienced posters on greekchat.

And to reiterate a key point I can speak to- if the chapter was trying to meet quota and had not, amperches did not cost anyone else a bid by going all the way through and declining what was offered.

In a more general sense without getting into the specifics, once you found yourself in the spot of getting this bid and no other- I appreciate and understand your reaction. No matter what you might have said during parties, it hardly is going to make you enthusiastic to feel like the sorority you rushed is just trying to fill quota.

I am sorry it did not work out for you, and however you got there- for what it is worth I totally understand why you declined your bid. This is one of those cases where- based on what you have posted- it makes very good sense to say no and move on.

As for the future, you seem a very sensible person to me. You now know that it is going to be very hard to rush as a junior, and so I say have a great sophomore year and see how you feel come next summer. As calm and considered as you have been in your posts here, I get the feeling that you will make a wise decision and be just fine with whatever path evolves.

[Mevara]

Originally Posted by amperches

I was uncomfortable in the house from day one. The sister who picked me up at the door seemed uninterested in telling me about her sorority, and when I would ask questions, she would not give me a clear answer or would deviate from my question completely. Later in the week, when I went back for Pref Night, I had expressed that I had found my home elsewhere. The sister with whom I was talking told me that she thought that was wonderful and that she wasn't going to try and force her sorority on me now because I had already found a home elsewhere. She also said that many of the girls they asked back were asked back to fill quota (apparently they never fill theirs). I thought that being energetic about one's sorority and trying to gain new members was what rush was all about. The fact that the sisters I spoke with were disinterested in their sorority turned me off from it and the fact that I was asked back only to fill quota, not because they truly wanted me, both angered and hurt me. I do not want to be a part of something due to numbers. I want to be with sisters who truly want me there and really care about me as a person, not as a number.

One thing I never understood was why chapters had to have everyone who came to their pref party somewhere on their bid list. Would someone explain this? If someone had come to ABC's pref and said I don't want to be here I want to be with XYZ. I think ABC should be allowed not to even list them on their bid list. I know you could list them at the very end of your list, but there is always a chance that they still end up on ABC's bid list.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Mevara

One thing I never understood was why chapters had to have everyone who came to their pref party somewhere on their bid list. Would someone explain this? If someone had come to ABC's pref and said I don't want to be here I want to be with XYZ. I think ABC should be allowed not to even list them on their bid list. I know you could list them at the very end of your list, but there is always a chance that they still end up on ABC's bid list.

It's part of "the rules" about when bid lists are submitted. Most chapters are not amending them after pref starts. If the PNM really feels that way she can decline the bid.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Mevara

One thing I never understood was why chapters had to have everyone who came to their pref party somewhere on their bid list. Would someone explain this? If someone had come to ABC's pref and said I don't want to be here I want to be with XYZ. I think ABC should be allowed not to even list them on their bid list. I know you could list them at the very end of your list, but there is always a chance that they still end up on ABC's bid list.

Some sororities/chapters are at schools where rush is far more casual, pref is the ONLY invitational party (i.e. sororities are not allowed to cut ANYONE before pref) and I highly doubt that everyone who is invited to that party HAS to be on a chapter's bid list. I'm not sure where "this is a rule like sorority members have to be enrolled at the school they're rushing at" came from.

pabeta: Another rushee might look at this thread in a year and see your bad advice and think she'll be fine rushing as a junior. So yes, it DOES matter to more people than the OP.

[DubaiSis]

I'd probably be going to the house you declined and see if you can still accept their offer.

[TXalum1]

Originally Posted by amperches

I have heard that juniors get "priority" over sophomores mainly because it is their last available year to rush, but I was unsure if this was true or not. I do want to rush again and hopefully this time get the sorority I want, but I don't want to make the mistake of going through again if there is no chance at all that I will get into a sorority as a junior.

Thanks and Gig Em!

Whoever told you juniors get priority in recruitment misled you. You had a bid in hand, which is difficult for a sophomore at A&M, and walked away because it wasn't what you wanted. That is your chance. It won't happen next year because until the sophomore quota was implemented this year, it seldom happened for sophomores. I know a number of young women in the Greek system there so this is not supposition on my part.

Many women think they must be an XYZ or nothing and learn later they were mistaken.

Maybe you can work something out with your GLO. If not, you will have to look at it as a valuable life lesson.