9 Charged after girl kills herself over bullying

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

To the bold, apparently you have not been reading my posts...or the one you responded to for that matter. I said she'd have peace at home and I never said to treat her like she was glass and that it shouldn't have been dealth with. When responding to me, read the entire post. Please and thankies.

I very thoroughly read them and stand by everything I said. You, m'dear, didn't read mine (really, are we going to play this game?). The entire point is that no, she would not have "peace at home". It doesn't matter if she's engaging in conversation with these people on the internet or not, she KNOWS it's going on, everyone in the world can see it, and it will follow her forever. That's not peace.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

I very thoroughly read them and stand by everything I said. You, m'dear, didn't read mine (really, are we going to play this game?). The entire point is that no, she would not have "peace at home". It doesn't matter if she's engaging in conversation with these people on the internet or not, she KNOWS it's going on, everyone in the world can see it, and it will follow her forever. That's not peace.

Shut up. That is all.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by srmom

Wow, we have had many sane and tolerant discussions and I'm frankly a bit shocked that you are being so cruel.

I am using my parents and my experience as a discussion tool, perhaps I should have just used an anonymous person. I feel that I have insight and understanding of an interesting topic and used personal experience as my basis of understanding, just as many on GC do in countless discussions.

I'm not going to flounce away, but the personal attacks are definitely unsettling, I think I'll move along quietly.

Sometimes people have a profound ability to communicate for the most part through put downs and have astonishingly high opinions of themselves.

Interesting, in a topic about bullies.

Your personal insight having dealt with an experience is certainly relevant and you didn't act like it applied across the board. Which is the only time I, personally, find personal stories irrelevant in threads like this.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

Shut up. That is all.

You've got to be kidding me.

[deepimpact2]

srmom, it is apparent to me that our parents had COMPLETELY different notions about what it truly means to handle the situation.

But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.

Going to school officials and whining about bullies is inadequate. perhaps it is no surprise that their kids are being bullied. Those types of parents clearly aren't aggressive enough to stand up for themselves.


The sad thing is that bullies come in all ages. Even here in law school there are bullies. A recent incident in my Con Law class involved voting on whether the entire class would take a B mean. That would mean that everyone in the class would get a "B." No more, no less. I was one of three who voted against it. I'm very small so naturally I had some of my classmates trying to bully me into changing my vote. I shut that down with a quickness. And I haven't had any problems with them since.

The reality is that even when someone is small, they can't make assumptions that the bigger person is willing to back up their words with actions. You will often find that bullies operate in packs because deep down they are huge cowards.

As for fighting in schools, I have to be honest. While I don't condone that generally, if a child is being picked on, and the school officials know but won't do anything, I think that gives the kid the privilege to kick the bully's behind. Sometimes a good old-fashion a#$-whooping can solve quite a few problems. My mother told me about how there were three big girls who were picking on her at school. One day she had enough, and even though she was tiny, she kicked their butts. They left her alone.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

srmom, it is apparent to me that our parents had COMPLETELY different notions about what it truly means to handle the situation.

But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.

Going to school officials and whining about bullies is inadequate. perhaps it is no surprise that their kids are being bullied. Those types of parents clearly aren't aggressive enough to stand up for themselves.


The sad thing is that bullies come in all ages. Even here in law school there are bullies. A recent incident in my Con Law class involved voting on whether the entire class would take a B mean. That would mean that everyone in the class would get a "B." No more, no less. I was one of three who voted against it. I'm very small so naturally I had some of my classmates trying to bully me into changing my vote. I shut that down with a quickness. And I haven't had any problems with them since.

The reality is that even when someone is small, they can't make assumptions that the bigger person is willing to back up their words with actions. You will often find that bullies operate in packs because deep down they are huge cowards.

As for fighting in schools, I have to be honest. While I don't condone that generally, if a child is being picked on, and the school officials know but won't do anything, I think that gives the kid the privilege to kick the bully's behind. Sometimes a good old-fashion a#$-whooping can solve quite a few problems. My mother told me about how there were three big girls who were picking on her at school. One day she had enough, and even though she was tiny, she kicked their butts. They left her alone.

I'm not that old, but an ass-whoopin in my day was different than the ones these days.

A fight at school rarely stops there. You may get back at the bully once, but it will likely be followed by the group coming after you.

I'm still on the fence about this issue, but just wanted to point that out.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Sometimes people have a profound ability to communicate for the most part through put downs and have astonishingly high opinions of themselves.

Interesting, in a topic about bullies.

Your personal insight having dealt with an experience is certainly relevant and you didn't act like it applied across the board. Which is the only time I, personally, find personal stories irrelevant in threads like this.

GOOOOOOO Alumiyum! Feel better now?

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

srmom, it is apparent to me that our parents had COMPLETELY different notions about what it truly means to handle the situation.

But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.

Going to school officials and whining about bullies is inadequate. perhaps it is no surprise that their kids are being bullied. Those types of parents clearly aren't aggressive enough to stand up for themselves.


The sad thing is that bullies come in all ages. Even here in law school there are bullies. A recent incident in my Con Law class involved voting on whether the entire class would take a B mean. That would mean that everyone in the class would get a "B." No more, no less. I was one of three who voted against it. I'm very small so naturally I had some of my classmates trying to bully me into changing my vote. I shut that down with a quickness. And I haven't had any problems with them since.

The reality is that even when someone is small, they can't make assumptions that the bigger person is willing to back up their words with actions. You will often find that bullies operate in packs because deep down they are huge cowards.

As for fighting in schools, I have to be honest. While I don't condone that generally, if a child is being picked on, and the school officials know but won't do anything, I think that gives the kid the privilege to kick the bully's behind. Sometimes a good old-fashion a#$-whooping can solve quite a few problems. My mother told me about how there were three big girls who were picking on her at school. One day she had enough, and even though she was tiny, she kicked their butts. They left her alone.

But....at least their child would be alive. Why wouldn't someone consider transferring their child to a different school to keep them from being tormented and raped?

My mom wouldn't allow me to back down from anyone...this holds true to this very day. I don't know that she would have put me in a different school, but then again she would do anything to keep me from being hurt so it's possible that she would have. Kicking butt is cool, if you can fight. So suggesting that the solution is a good ole fashioned but whooping carries a little bit of a risk.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

srmom, it is apparent to me that our parents had COMPLETELY different notions about what it truly means to handle the situation.

But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.

Going to school officials and whining about bullies is inadequate. perhaps it is no surprise that their kids are being bullied. Those types of parents clearly aren't aggressive enough to stand up for themselves.


The sad thing is that bullies come in all ages. Even here in law school there are bullies. A recent incident in my Con Law class involved voting on whether the entire class would take a B mean. That would mean that everyone in the class would get a "B." No more, no less. I was one of three who voted against it. I'm very small so naturally I had some of my classmates trying to bully me into changing my vote. I shut that down with a quickness. And I haven't had any problems with them since.

The reality is that even when someone is small, they can't make assumptions that the bigger person is willing to back up their words with actions. You will often find that bullies operate in packs because deep down they are huge cowards.

As for fighting in schools, I have to be honest. While I don't condone that generally, if a child is being picked on, and the school officials know but won't do anything, I think that gives the kid the privilege to kick the bully's behind. Sometimes a good old-fashion a#$-whooping can solve quite a few problems. My mother told me about how there were three big girls who were picking on her at school. One day she had enough, and even though she was tiny, she kicked their butts. They left her alone.

GOOD parents, in my opinion, will do whatever they have the means to do to protect their child. This doesn't mean teaching them to "fight back". I think it's a good idea for a kid to attempt to "stand up" by finding ways to respond without showing weakness. Bullies often get bored when their target doesn't react to their bad behavior. But not all bullies are picking on their peers for kicks. Some are motivated by jealously, anger, percieved revenge, etc. I doubt many parents would move to a different school due to minor bullying, and certainly it's a smart move to first talk to their kid, then the school, and if that doesn't work, keep going to the parents of the bullies and possibly the actual bully. But in my opinion a good parent would absolutely move if they've gone down all these routes with no result (if they're able...not every family has that option). There's a difference between the typical harassment many underdogs experience in junior high/middle school and the type of bullying the girls in this article were doing. "Fighting back" almost always backfires.

[Kappamd]

deepimpact, I am appalled and disgusted that anyone could possibly believe that violence is the best answer to bullying. That is the most ignorant and naive thing I've heard since someone said those being bullied just need to "man up."

Oh wait, that was you too.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

GOOOOOOO Alumiyum! Feel better now?

Nope, but I win a cookie. I bet myself you couldn't resist.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Nope, but I win a cookie. I bet myself you couldn't resist.

In a reverse psychology world.

[Ch2tf]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.

As a future parent (hopefully) and being that I'm currently working with my sister to choose a school district/system for my niece, I disagree. While placing my child in a different school would be the last resort, at some level beyond the school itself (district, state, etc.), when reaching the point where my complaints, charges, etc. are not making a change in the situation, I would indeed place my kid somewhere else, because ultimately what the officials in charge are telling me is that they do not have my child's welfare in mind. And while I'm going up the chain of command, I have to remember that my child may be suffering on a daily basis. And I don't begin to think that beyond a certain point I can control the actions of others. I do believe this goes beyond complaining to the principle however.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

I'm not that old, but an ass-whoopin in my day was different than the ones these days.

A fight at school rarely stops there. You may get back at the bully once, but it will likely be followed by the group coming after you.

I'm still on the fence about this issue, but just wanted to point that out.

Could you please GET.THIS.SAID! Kids these days are bold, will follow you home and will try to fight adults if they get involved. These kids now fight in groups and use weapons. I'm all about standing up for yourself, and even fighting if you have to (my mom made sure of this) but you have to be careful.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Kappamd

deepimpact, I am appalled and disgusted that anyone could possibly believe that violence is the best answer to bullying

She did NOT say it was the best and only answer to bullying.

Originally Posted by Kappamd

That is the most ignorant and naive thing I've heard since someone said those being bullied just need to "man up."

Oh wait, that was you too.

As long as you're aware of the tone that you're adopting just because you disagree with her. GCers have a tendency to adopt a tone for ANY reason and then act shocked and holier than thou when people hand the tone back to them.