Barbie’s Honest to God Authentic Retro Recruitment at a Very Competitive SEC School

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by SuperChopperMom

Caught you Barbie. There is no true proper southern belle going through an SEC recruitment that would ever say "You'd all." Not in a million years. "You'd all." "You'd all?"

I told you I was watching you and watching this recruitment story. "You'd all." Never, ever! "You'd all?"

Hover, hover, hover,
SuperChopperMom

Any properly bred belle knows all y'all may be used when addressing a group informally. But since this is Greekchat and full of strangers and *sob* Yankees, I used the more proper and formal you'd all.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Day Two AKA: The Twist

Because there’s always a twist in a good retro story, you know.

The next morning we rush over to the meeting hall to meet with our Rho Chi groups and receive our party invites. The room is quiet, far too quiet. Yes, there’s this thing happening! It’s always a thing!

There is a huge computer problem. Never in Competitive SEC University recruitment history has there been this type of problem with a PNM. It’s discovered that the computer has booked me for thousands of parties in every single time slot so that none of the other PNMs could receive any second day party invitations.

“Barbie, we were afraid that something like this would happen. You are simply the perfect sorority girl and no other PNM can compare,” said my Rho Chi. I smile a little knowing how happy it will make my mother when I tell her this. It’s exactly what she told a bunch of helimom haters on Greek Chat shortly before recruitment began.

The Rho Chis gathered with the Panhellenic Advisor to come up with a solution . . .

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

I've never heard "Y'all" being used to speak to only one person?

I've heard people use it as a standard pronoun no matter the number on so many occasions.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

Day Two AKA: The Twist

Because there’s always a twist in a good retro story, you know.

The next morning we rush over to the meeting hall to meet with our Rho Chi groups and receive our party invites. The room is quiet, far too quiet. Yes, there’s this thing happening! It’s always a thing!

There is a huge computer problem. Never in Competitive SEC University recruitment history has there been this type of problem with a PNM. It’s discovered that the computer has booked me for thousands of parties in every single time slot so that none of the other PNMs could receive any second day party invitations.

“Barbie, we were afraid that something like this would happen. You are simply the perfect sorority girl and no other PNM can compare,” said my Rho Chi. I smile a little knowing how happy it will make my mother when I tell her this. It’s exactly what she told a bunch of helimom haters on Greek Chat shortly before recruitment began.

The Rho Chis gathered with the Panhellenic Advisor to come up with a solution . . .

Oh the horror...well not for you, Barbie!

[gee_ess]

Barbie is the perfect PNM! I think any house worth its salt on this campus will probably rush to publish an "I Heart Barbie" pamphlet to be passed out at the freshman dorms tomorrow morning. This can be light reading for Barbie while she waits for the computer snafu to be corrected and her perfect rush to continue.

I <3 Barbie!

[AnchorAlumna]

I just wish she'd come back and tease us with another episode.
Funniest. Thread. Ever.
Until the snarks dropped in.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay. I had to leave the country for a few days in order to pick up my multiple Nobel Prizes. I know from that locked thread that this is the only rush story anyone has ever been interested in, so I truly apologize for the delay!

When we last left my story, recruitment had come to a grinding halt since the computers refused to believe that anyone other than yours truly measured up to sorority standards at our school.

Suddenly, a blinding light appears on the horizon, followed by a chorus of heavenly angel voices. It’s the entire chapter of Madame Alexander, here to save recruitment! They float over to the advisor and Rho Chis, leaving a trail of glittering diamond dust in their path.

“Clearly there is only one solution to this catastrophe,” says the beautiful and perfect Madame Alexander president. “Barbie has always been a Madame Alexander. Recruitment is just a technicality. We shall extend her a bid now.”

Everyone cheers. The Madame Alexanders stretch out their hands and I am transported on a cloud of diamond dust, rainbows and sunshine to join my new sisters.

And just like that, the computers and printers roar back to life, producing party invite lists for the other PNMs.

Yet in spite of my joy, I see poor Midge out of the corner of my eye. She is crumpled in a corner by herself, hysterically weeping. Even after the computer glitch is miraculously fixed by my saintly sisters, my dear friend has still received no second party invites at all! Obviously someone has been reading the rumors about her on Greek Chat and decided to destroy her rush!

I immediately call this to the attention of my new sisters and they offer her a snap bid on the spot. Anyone, whether she has a dented boob or not, who is good enough for Barbie is good enough for the Madame Alexanders!

“Thank you my fabulous friend Barbie and my new sisters! You have saved me from a lifetime of trying to AI!” Midge squeals.

We are all swept away on that magical trail of rainbows, sunshine and diamonds and end up back at the elegant and classy Madame Alexander mansion. Midge and I are immediately initiated and then participate in our first recruitment parties on the other side. Of course we recruited the best new member class in the history of the NPC! The Madame Alexanders plus Barbie are invincible!

You seriously didn’t think there would be anything but a perfect and implausible end to my totally authentic and true tale, did you?

[CARROT EGG]

hay girl how do you like a dry boat?

[indygphib]

Did the Madame Alexanders make Midge work in the kitchen during recruitment? After all, the dented boob may freak out PNMs.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by indygphib

Did the Madame Alexanders make Midge work in the kitchen during recruitment? After all, the dented boob may freak out PNMs.

OMG!! How funny!

I'm happy for you & the Madame Alexanders. I'm disappointed there wasn't a round 2 or 3 or anything to the story

[gee_ess]

Thank you, Barbie, for rescuing us from snarky posts, locked threads, and sock puppets. You, are the "end all, be all" sorority member and we salute you!


Can't wait until little Skipper goes through rush as a MA legacy!

[AnchorAlumna]

That's IT?
No more drama, no fights, no looking amused while the inferior sororities grovel before you?
Sheesh.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

That's IT?
No more drama, no fights, no looking amused while the inferior sororities grovel before you?
Sheesh.

Seriously.

I had such high hopes for this thread, but Chuck Norris still beat her out.

[angelove]

I'd like to hear Barbie's story about rush from the other side. Will she be able to keep a smile on her face the whole time? How will she keep conversations going with PNMs who clearly aren't MA material?

[FSUZeta]

“Thank you my fabulous friend Barbie and my new sisters! You have saved me from a lifetime of trying to AI!” Midge squeals.

LOL! thank goodness we were all saved from that!