"I'm rushing 'for' a certain chapter"

[honeychile]

From Auburn's Panhellenic page:

Please note that while potential members can seek out letters of rec; it is ultimately not the responsibility of the potential member to obtain a copy of the Recommendation/Reference Form for the alumna or collegian. Also, please be advised that the UA Panhellenic does not have access to individual sorority Recommendation/Reference Forms; however, we can assist an alumna in securing a copy of the recommendation form, if she is having difficulty obtaining one (See FAQ’s tab on our main page).

This is much like saying that a PNM does not have to exhibit proper hygiene, manners, etc when going through Recruitment. It's necessary, but they're not going to mandate them for fear of sounding elitist. The trouble is in the interpretation: they say you don't need recs but omigosh, are you messed up without them!

I certainly didn't go through SEC Recruitment, but we all knew that some behaviors and attire would guarantee not receiving a bid!

[AnchorAlum]

Originally Posted by Titchou

Ignorant is curable. Stupid is not.

Me likey this quote.

[33girl]

That Auburn thing kind of sounds like when in Congress they stated that the Mafia doesn't exist and then spent ookabillion hours discussing how to deal with the Mafia (if it did exist)(which, ya know, it doesn't)(no, not at all).

And that FSU thing is way beyond, and I really want someone to submit it to their national HQ and pitch a bitch saying it divulges confidential membership selection procedures.

[AZTheta]

honey and 33, I don't get that interpretation at all from the quote honey posted.

Instead, I understand it to say (paraphrasing) the PNM is not responsible for getting the rec form to the people writing her rec(s); and that the Greek Life Office, while it doesn't have the individual sorority rec forms, can help the rec writer to get the correct form. I don't interpret it to say that recs aren't necessary; it starts by saying the PNM "can seek out" recs (which is a very interesting indirect way of saying "get them" IMO).

I have never had a PNM give me a Theta rec form to fill out. It's on our website and it's my responsibility to fill out the form and submit it correctly.

Does that make more sense?

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

honey and 33, I don't get that interpretation at all from the quote honey posted.

Instead, I understand it to say (paraphrasing) the PNM is not responsible for getting the rec form to the people writing her rec(s); and that the Greek Life Office, while it doesn't have the individual sorority rec forms, can help the rec writer to get the correct form. I don't interpret it to say that recs aren't necessary; it starts by saying the PNM "can seek out" recs (which is a very interesting indirect way of saying "get them" IMO).

I have never had a PNM give me a Theta rec form to fill out. It's on our website and it's my responsibility to fill out the form and submit it correctly.

Does that make more sense?

Infinitely! I wouldn't dream of giving a form to a PNM, either. It's my understanding that they're part of Membership Selection, and should NOT be given to a PNM.

[MaryPoppins]

Here's what Ole Miss Panhellenic has to say online in their new Recruitment FAQ about recs:

What is a letter of recommendation? Do I really need one?

• - A recommendation is a personal letter of reference written by an alumnae member of a sorority to introduce a Potential New Member to her sorority. In the recommendation, the alumnae will write about your activities and talents so the sorority can get acquainted with you before recruitment begins.
• - Recommendation letters are not required to go through recruitment. They are helpful in the recruitment process. You may send more than one letter of recommendation if you wish.
• - DO NOT include transcripts or test scores with your recommendation letters. Sororities will receive your overall GPA before recruitment begins, therefore transcripts are not necessary. This includes not sending it to local Alumnae Panhellenic Associations or the sorority.

[AnchorAlumna]

I don't care.
When giving material to an alum to write a rec, INCLUDE A TRANSCRIPT.

[groovypq]

I'm a little late to this thread (new baby will do that to you...) but I have noticed this trend in the past year or so. The School Class of 2017 Facebook page is rife with posts about "What sorority are you rushing? I'm rushing XYZ!" or "I know which sorority I want!" and they clearly don't have any idea how recruitment works. And since we're a deferred-recruitment school, they will only be MORE sure of they're "rushing XYZ" by the time recruitment rolls around.

We're a small school (4 NPC orgs) and really, most people are XYZ or bust - and they drop out if XYZ cuts them. Either they go through informal the next fall and try to get in that way or they don't go social Greek (a lot join the service org... and I am NOT knocking service orgs, but at my school there are indeed a lot of people who join it just for letters, unfortunately). I really, really wish there were a way to get PNMs to be more open-minded.

Side note: my chapter's province president is constantly telling them to stop using "rush" and "pledge." However, it seems like no one on campus uses the "proper" terminology. She said once she gets the "campus culture," but still every year there's a lonnnng discourse about proper terminology. I'm not sure how to correct it.

[carnation]

Wow, I just saw how many views this thread has.

Anyway, take note, PNMs! You may have favorites but if you're doing an NPC recruitment, pleeease don't publicize your choices. That's likely to end badly.

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by groovypq

I'm a little late to this thread (new baby will do that to you...) but I have noticed this trend in the past year or so. The School Class of 2017 Facebook page is rife with posts about "What sorority are you rushing? I'm rushing XYZ!" or "I know which sorority I want!" and they clearly don't have any idea how recruitment works. And since we're a deferred-recruitment school, they will only be MORE sure of they're "rushing XYZ" by the time recruitment rolls around.

We're a small school (4 NPC orgs) and really, most people are XYZ or bust - and they drop out if XYZ cuts them. Either they go through informal the next fall and try to get in that way or they don't go social Greek (a lot join the service org... and I am NOT knocking service orgs, but at my school there are indeed a lot of people who join it just for letters, unfortunately). I really, really wish there were a way to get PNMs to be more open-minded.

Side note: my chapter's province president is constantly telling them to stop using "rush" and "pledge." However, it seems like no one on campus uses the "proper" terminology. She said once she gets the "campus culture," but still every year there's a lonnnng discourse about proper terminology. I'm not sure how to correct it.

I think it might be a little more understandable at a smaller school maybe? With only four sororities it seems like maybe they would all have pretty distinct personalities and there would be a bigger difference between them especially if they are smaller too? A big difference from a school that has a bunch of houses and maybe 200 or 300 members where you could probably find a place in almost any of them if you gave them a chance?

[angels&angles]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

I think it might be a little more understandable at a smaller school maybe? With only four sororities it seems like maybe they would all have pretty distinct personalities and there would be a bigger difference between them especially if they are smaller too? A big difference from a school that has a bunch of houses and maybe 200 or 300 members where you could probably find a place in almost any of them if you gave them a chance?

Coming from a smaller school with fewer chapters--

In some ways, yes. BUT I still don't think you could possibly know that before you get to the school. At that point it is 100% tent talk which is still mostly gossip and untrue, even at a small school. Over half the members without bids at my school came from PNMs dropping out when they didn't get "their" chapter, and it was crap. Any of those girls would have done well and had a great time at any of the chapters. Even in a smaller school with smaller chapters, I think you can find your place with any group.

And most of the girls who are doing that sort of thing are going off of "XYZ is the most popular. I belong in XYZ."

/soapbox

[I should note, as stated earlier, that I rushed "for" a group. and it wasn't the "best" group like I just generalized. But I didn't do that until I'd been on campus for a few months, and, in retrospect, I do think I would have enjoyed myself in any of the groups on campus. I wouldn't have thought so at the time, and Pi Phi was 100% the best fit for me, but I would have been a-ok and had a great experience anyway]

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I think we all recognize the difference between "My older sister is an XYZ and I know all of her friends and hang out with them constantly and want to be an XYZ" and "I wanna be an XYZ because this hot guy told me XYZ was the best". But in either case, you STILL shouldn't make it public.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

I think it might be a little more understandable at a smaller school maybe? With only four sororities it seems like maybe they would all have pretty distinct personalities and there would be a bigger difference between them especially if they are smaller too? A big difference from a school that has a bunch of houses and maybe 200 or 300 members where you could probably find a place in almost any of them if you gave them a chance?

Interestingly, I think this kind of works against what you're trying to argue. If a PNM could "definitely" fit in with at least a small group of sisters in a chapter of 200-300 girls, then she could hypothetically join any one and it wouldn't matter if she focused on only one group. If, on the other hand, there were only 20 sisters in a chapter, she'd have to truly make sure that she fit in with at least a couple of them, and she'd have less of a chance of that happening than she would in a larger chapter. She'd be better off increasing her chances of meeting people she clicks with by being open to more chapters.

My school had 3 chapters. When I was active, there were between 10 and 30 members in each, and we only held informal recruitment. On numerous occasions, we had PNMs who would go through recruitment set on one chapter. They wouldn't get a bid. We had one girl come out to ONLY our recruitment events for THREE semesters before she finally got the hint, went to recruitment events for a different chapter for one semester, and received a bid. She loved her time with her chapter.

I think it's sometimes misleading to say that "small schools/Greek systems are different" when it comes to having an open mind. And I would say you should definitely keep an open mind if you haven't even arrived at school yet, regardless of which school you attend.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by groovypq

I'm a little late to this thread (new baby will do that to you...) but I have noticed this trend in the past year or so. The School Class of 2017 Facebook page is rife with posts about "What sorority are you rushing? I'm rushing XYZ!" or "I know which sorority I want!" and they clearly don't have any idea how recruitment works. And since we're a deferred-recruitment school, they will only be MORE sure of they're "rushing XYZ" by the time recruitment rolls around.

We're a small school (4 NPC orgs) and really, most people are XYZ or bust - and they drop out if XYZ cuts them. Either they go through informal the next fall and try to get in that way or they don't go social Greek (a lot join the service org... and I am NOT knocking service orgs, but at my school there are indeed a lot of people who join it just for letters, unfortunately). I really, really wish there were a way to get PNMs to be more open-minded.

Side note: my chapter's province president is constantly telling them to stop using "rush" and "pledge." However, it seems like no one on campus uses the "proper" terminology. She said once she gets the "campus culture," but still every year there's a lonnnng discourse about proper terminology. I'm not sure how to correct it.

Ok, here's the question. Are you doing deferred recruitment correctly? You don't have a lot of silly rules about no contact first semester, RAs have to disaffiliate, freshmen can't go to fraternity parties, etc etc, do you?

The more NORMAL contact PNMs have with sorority members, the more open minded they will be, as they will get to know them as normal human people. The more rules and garbage are put in the way, and the harder it is to make a simple person to person connection, the more closed-minded the PNMs will be.

And if the worst thing in the world that's happening at your school is that people are saying "rush" and "pledge" your province president needs a chill pill. They've been trying to eradicate these terms for decades now, and the fact that it hasn't happened just hits home that the "proper" terms are stupid.

[groovypq]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Ok, here's the question. Are you doing deferred recruitment correctly? You don't have a lot of silly rules about no contact first semester, RAs have to disaffiliate, freshmen can't go to fraternity parties, etc etc, do you?

The more NORMAL contact PNMs have with sorority members, the more open minded they will be, as they will get to know them as normal human people. The more rules and garbage are put in the way, and the harder it is to make a simple person to person connection, the more closed-minded the PNMs will be.

And if the worst thing in the world that's happening at your school is that people are saying "rush" and "pledge" your province president needs a chill pill. They've been trying to eradicate these terms for decades now, and the fact that it hasn't happened just hits home that the "proper" terms are stupid.

I'd say it's hit or miss on doing it "correctly." We had four Greek advisers in six years (and are soon to get another new one), and each one did things differently. There are no rules about first-semester contact or fraternity parties, but last year the rho chis were chosen and had to disaffiliate about halfway through the first semester (and were watched like HAWKS).

In the past, freshmen were allowed to attend informal recruitment parties, just not receive bids. I did think that gave them a taste of things and allowed them to get to know sorority women. Now, though, we do dynamic recruitment which is a whole different kettle of fish (I don't even have it all figured out yet).

And yes, I agree on the chill pill needed.