Single ladies, how do you respond to "why aren't you married yet?"

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by LAblondeGPhi

"It is what it is"

That is my mom's mantra. She lives her life by it. The whole idea of "shoot, why didn't I say this or do that?!" when really, you can't change it because it's over and the moment passed.

I bought her a plaque for mother's day that says it. She keeps it in her office.

[AOII_LB93]

Holy crap, I know this is the "why aren't you married thread", but if I hear one more person tell me that my husband and I just need to "have kids and not worry about it, everything works itself out financially" I'm going to effing scream. Do they pay my mortgage? Are they going to pay for me to stay home for a while? No, then STFU!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ok, I think I got that out temporarily.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

Holy crap, I know this is the "why aren't you married thread", but if I hear one more person tell me that my husband and I just need to "have kids and not worry about it, everything works itself out financially" I'm going to effing scream. Do they pay my mortgage? Are they going to pay for me to stay home for a while? No, then STFU!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ok, I think I got that out temporarily.

It sounds like the pressure to reproduce is even crazier than the pressure to get married. Why do people want everyone around them to have kids?

I'm going to have lots and lots of snarky and vulgar things to say to people to dare tell me something like that.

[Jimmy Choo]

Now that me and the bf have decided to get married I'm constantly getting asked when are we going to have kids. I also keep getting asked about when I'm going to quit my job since married women shouldn't work. I might vomit soon......

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

It sounds like the pressure to reproduce is even crazier than the pressure to get married. Why do people want everyone around them to have kids?

I have this theory that it's because they've gotten to the point that they've settled into a life CONSUMED with parenting responsibilities that leaves no time for themselves (or each other). They're getting to that point where they've let themselves go and only care about their kids. Their marriages are no longer fulfilling and they're miserable.

So they want every other married couple they know to get to that point to because they can't stand seeing them childless, happy, and still concerned with things other than diapers, dishes, and dinner.

Originally Posted by Jimmy Choo

Now that me and the bf have decided to get married I'm constantly getting asked when are we going to have kids. I also keep getting asked about when I'm going to quit my job since married women shouldn't work.

Wow, where do YOU live? LOL.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Wow, where do YOU live? LOL.

My nephew, who's 7, told me that I could start helping people when I "get married and stop working." He also said that single women work, but married women don't. Although he sounds like a chauvanistic piglet, that's just his reality.

[Jimmy Choo]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Wow, where do YOU live? LOL.

I'm in North carolina but sadly i don't think that has anything to do with it. Some people just think married women stay home (like Munchkins post). I was just floored by being asked that. The harassment about having kids I expected but not that one!

[KSUViolet06]

I forgot this gem from the weekend:

I ran into a girl I went to HS with at the grocery store (age 24). She is getting married in a week. She asked me if I was married and I said no, and she said "That's a shame."

I ignored that and asked her what she was up to lately, and her response was "Oh we both are still at WalMart."

She asked me what I was up to and I told her (grad school). She said "Oh wow that's great, I didn't really wanna go to college, I felt like it wasn't something I needed to be successful in life."

She went on to tell me that they are living with his mom right now, because they put an offer on a house but "isn't sure why but they turned it down." I tried to sound concerned like "Wow that's a shame." She was like "OMG we were soo upset, I mean we both have great part time jobs I don't know what happened."

Then she ends the convo with "Oh I forgot to tell you, we're having a baby, so you should give me your address for shower invites. I'm soo excited, that's the thing we both want more than anything!"

[Jimmy Choo]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I forgot this gem from the weekend:

I ran into a girl I went to HS with at the grocery store. She is getting married in a week. She asked me if I was married and I said no, and she said "That's a shame."

I ingored that and asked her what she was up to lately, and her response was "Oh we both are still at WalMart."

She asked me what I was up to and I told her (grad school). She said "Oh wow that's great, I didn't really wanna go to college, I felt like it wasn't something I needed to be successful in life."

She went on to tell me that they are living with his mom right now, because they put an offer on a house but "isn't sure why but they turned it down." I tried to sound concerned like "Wow that's a shame." She was like "OMG we were soo upset, I mean we both have great part time jobs I don't know what happened."

Then she ends the convo with "Oh I forgot to tell you, we're having a baby, so you should give me your address for shower invites. I'm soo excited, that's the thing we both want more than anything!"

Stuff like this makes me want to beat my head against a wall......

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Jimmy Choo

Stuff like this makes me want to beat my head against a wall......

Don't get me wrong, marriage is great, but getting married, being dumb as a box of rocks, and immediately repoducing (before you are actually married lol) with no real place to live is NOT.

[Jimmy Choo]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Don't get me wrong, marriage is great, but getting married, being dumb as a box of rocks, and immediately repoducing (before you are actually married lol) with no real place to live is NOT.

That's what I meant. No home, part-time job.....they just don't sound prepared. At least, that's how I look at the situation.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Jimmy Choo

That's what I meant. No home, part-time job.....they just don't sound prepared. At least, that's how I look at the situation.

Right. I almost laughed out loud when she said "we both have good part time jobs, I don't know what happened."

I can tell you what happened. They saw your part-time jobs and your most likely ridiculous offer and told you to kick rocks.

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

It sounds like the pressure to reproduce is even crazier than the pressure to get married. Why do people want everyone around them to have kids?

Misery loves company?

Sorry, I've got my snark on tonight. But seriously - whether to have children, how many to have, whether to adopt, whether to abort an unwanted pregnancy or see it through, whether to pursue IVF, whether to pursue permanent sterilization, etc. is nobody's business but the individual's / couple's. And whether / when to get married is up to the couple in question, and no one should get married just for the sake of being married.

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I have this theory that it's because they've gotten to the point that they've settled into a life CONSUMED with parenting responsibilities that leaves no time for themselves (or each other). They're getting to that point where they've let themselves go and only care about their kids. Their marriages are no longer fulfilling and they're miserable.

So they want every other married couple they know to get to that point to because they can't stand seeing them childless, happy, and still concerned with things other than diapers, dishes, and dinner.

[/COLOR]

Hey, I'm always concerned with what's for dinner, if it was up to my husband it would be hot dogs, steak, or spaghetti. I agree. I want children, but just not now. What is so wrong with this concept, people? So what if I'm 32. I'll be having one by 35, so STHU. I'm going to hate going back to work on Tuesday for this particular reason. Two women are pregnant and both got married after me, so all the old hens in the staff lounge as well as the new moms are all going to gang up on me. I've been getting it for a few years now. "When are you going to have kids? You should just have them? Why isn't your husband ready for them yet?"

What business is it of anyone's? I think my new response may become, "Why? Did you start a college fund for my future progeny?" or "We practice daily, but we're enjoying the practice a little too much to stop just yet."

[nikki1920]

I vote for the second response. Or you could just ask them when they will be available to babysit. Or just ignore them until they get the point that you don't want to talk about it.