Facebook - Privacy Violation?

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl

That thing is totally going on my computer background.

I expected nothing less!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl

I don't see how not posting drunken pictures makes you "goody goody". If your chapter is social everyone will know it because everyone on campus will know who they are. Name recognition. But it is not necessary to have alcohol plastered all over the place to be popular.

Someone who is a real leader isn't going to be turned off just because a chapter doesn't place alcohol on a pedestal. A real campus leader is a young professional, someone who has goals, including career goals. They will realize the value of keeping the fun at home.

Oh for crying out loud in a bucket.

I said "ONLINE OR IN GENERAL." You posted while I was editing.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Oh for crying out loud in a bucket.

I said "ONLINE OR IN GENERAL." You posted while I was editing.

Not my fault.

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I said "IF." As in...has not occurred yet...is still shaking out. For all I know I'm completely wrong and membership numbers will go shooting into the stratosphere. Widespread national policies on Facebook etc are less than 5 years old. We don't know what effect they will have. I'm just saying that if they have the effect of membership going down or the quality of members going down, it would behoove chapters and national orgs to take a second look at them.

I completely agree, 33girl. The Facebook policy is much bigger than just drinking pictures, though, and it creates WAY more problems than that. Here (and, I imagine, at most schools) actives of any NPC sorority MAY NOT facebook or accept a friend request from any potential from the period of disaffiliation to formal recruitment...and a potential is defined as ANY non-sorority woman, even part-time or about to graduate seniors. Do you see the problem here?

What happens is that potentials see us as elitist instead of friendly, and our friends in classes - who we would normally encourage to go through recruitment - instead feel as though they are being shunned and that you are being rude to them because you deny their request. It may seem trivial to you older people, but it IS very rude. It also makes communication more difficult - a lot of group projects I've worked on have communicated through Facebook, which is not allowed. Facebook can be a great, useful forum for projects, especially with large groups, and it sucks that we can't use it.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

I completely agree, 33girl. The Facebook policy is much bigger than just drinking pictures, though, and it creates WAY more problems than that. Here (and, I imagine, at most schools) actives of any NPC sorority MAY NOT facebook or accept a friend request from any potential from the period of disaffiliation to formal recruitment...and a potential is defined as ANY non-sorority woman, even part-time or about to graduate seniors. Do you see the problem here?

What happens is that potentials see us as elitist instead of friendly, and our friends in classes - who we would normally encourage to go through recruitment - instead feel as though they are being shunned and that you are being rude to them because you deny their request. It may seem trivial to you older people, but it IS very rude. It also makes communication more difficult - a lot of group projects I've worked on have communicated through Facebook, which is not allowed. Facebook can be a great, useful forum for projects, especially with large groups, and it sucks that we can't use it.

The easy solution to that is to explain the situation to the person. I don't know about you, but I don't friend random people. I friend people I talk to in person or otherwise. So you simply explain to your friend that recruitment rules are complicated because some girls cheat, so during recruitment you can't add them as a friend. Surely they're old enough, in college, to not get offended by that.

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl

The easy solution to that is to explain the situation to the person. I don't know about you, but I don't friend random people. I friend people I talk to in person or otherwise. So you simply explain to your friend that recruitment rules are complicated because some girls cheat, so during recruitment you can't add them as a friend. Surely they're old enough, in college, to not get offended by that.

I never said we friend random people. What I said was that it's rude to deny people you know, and that remains true. Even if you explain it, what do you think their reaction is? 90% of the time, this is how it goes:

Me: "Hey, sorry I had to deny your friend request. I'm in a sorority and we aren't allow to do that until after recruitment, which is on ________ this date. It's just a rule to make sure no one influences potential new members until after they get a chance to meet all the sororities."

Friend: "Oh...really? That's really weird. I guess all that stuff about Greeks only wanting to be friends with other Greeks is true. Sorry to waste your time."

No matter how you explain it, they get offended...because they don't understand our rules, and they won't unless they come from our side.

Besides which, you STILL haven't addressed the issue with communication and group projects.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

I completely agree, 33girl. The Facebook policy is much bigger than just drinking pictures, though, and it creates WAY more problems than that. Here (and, I imagine, at most schools) actives of any NPC sorority MAY NOT facebook or accept a friend request from any potential from the period of disaffiliation to formal recruitment...and a potential is defined as ANY non-sorority woman, even part-time or about to graduate seniors. Do you see the problem here?

What happens is that potentials see us as elitist instead of friendly, and our friends in classes - who we would normally encourage to go through recruitment - instead feel as though they are being shunned and that you are being rude to them because you deny their request. It may seem trivial to you older people, but it IS very rude. It also makes communication more difficult - a lot of group projects I've worked on have communicated through Facebook, which is not allowed. Facebook can be a great, useful forum for projects, especially with large groups, and it sucks that we can't use it.

This is the same thing that happened when open parties went away. I know it was for a good reason, and especially at a large school I don't blame people one bit, but it has the same result - people look at us as "elitist." They don't know that the policy was made because Godfrey GDI came to the party and tried to force himself on a brother's girlfriend or that Gemma GDI broke the lock to the chapter room. All they know is that they're not allowed to be a part of it.

[UGAalum94]

Just for the record, my willingness to consider simply not listing greek affiliation in a profile such a viable choice has almost nothing to do with wanting to be able to post drinking photos. I agree that alone seems pretty trivial.

My finding the choice attractive is driven more by just liking to reserve the ability to think of my own individual expression instead of having to filter everything through a how-will-this-reflect-on-the-group filter.

Sure, as a GLO member you have to accept that your behavior does reflect on the group and you have to be willing to follow rules, and I agree if those ideas REALLY bother you, membership might not be for you.

But there are a lot of things that aren't black and white about how they might reflect on the group, and for all those issues, I think it's fine to do what you can not to tie your own behavior and ideas to public presentations of your membership in the group.

If I want to be a member of some joke group formed by a someone I know, which might not be clearly banned by group policy and it not be something that would bother an employer, and yet, might not be a group my sisters would be excited about, not listing my affiliation in my profile spares my sisters any connection to the joke group.

It's possible that all chapters would be stronger if they were only filled with people who were so excited about posting their affiliation that it was always going to be primary, but I'm not sure that not feeling that way means that you shouldn't be a member.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

I never said we friend random people. What I said was that it's rude to deny people you know, and that remains true. Even if you explain it, what do you think their reaction is? 90% of the time, this is how it goes:

Me: "Hey, sorry I had to deny your friend request. I'm in a sorority and we aren't allow to do that until after recruitment, which is on ________ this date. It's just a rule to make sure no one influences potential new members until after they get a chance to meet all the sororities."

Friend: "Oh...really? That's really weird. I guess all that stuff about Greeks only wanting to be friends with other Greeks is true. Sorry to waste your time."

No matter how you explain it, they get offended...because they don't understand our rules, and they won't unless they come from our side.

Besides which, you STILL haven't addressed the issue with communication and group projects.

Then you have crappy friends. I'm being serious here. I've had to explain it many times and I have YET to have a single person get offended by it. Some of them think it's a little weird, but I've never had one insult me like that or be such a baby as to not be mature enough to understand, even if seems weird and unecessary to them. It's really not that big of a deal not to friend someone on facebook for two weeks.

And if your Panhellenic council will not allow communication during class or work, maybe y'all need to do some serious re-prioritizing. For us school and work are ALWAYS ok. School is the reason you are there in the first place.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

Just for the record, my willingness to consider simply not listing greek affiliation in a profile such a viable choice has almost nothing to do with wanting to be able to post drinking photos. I agree that alone seems pretty trivial.

My finding the choice attractive is driven more by just liking to reserve the ability to think of my own individual expression instead of having to filter everything through a how-will-this-reflect-on-the-group filter.

Sure, as a GLO member you have to accept that your behavior does reflect on the group and you have to be willing to follow rules, and I agree if those ideas REALLY bother you, membership might not be for you.

But there are a lot of things that aren't black and white about how they might reflect on the group, and for all those issues, I think it's fine to do what you can not to tie your own behavior and ideas to public presentations of your membership in the group.

If I want to be a member of some joke group formed by a someone I know, which might not be clearly banned by group policy and it not be something that would bother an employer, and yet, might not be a group my sisters would be excited about, not listing my affiliation in my profile spares my sisters any connection to the joke group.

It's possible that all chapters would be stronger if they were only filled with people who were so excited about posting their affiliation that it was always going to be primary, but I'm not sure that not feeling that way means that you shouldn't be a member.

I just can't understand how people can join any group and have serious issues with being asked to make small scarifices. That's part of being in a group. If we're talking about a chapter telling their members they can't associate with another group of people, for instance, or telling them they can't wear certain things (when they're not at a specific sorority event...asking members to dress a certain way during Recruitment is fine within reason), or telling them they have to weigh a certain amount...that's all too controlling. But asking people to clean up their facebook's? I guess my issue is that a) I can't fathom facebook being so important to a person's personal identity that they have to have certain things on there at all costs and b) I can't see why making small scarifices aren't expected when one joins a group or team.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl

I guess my issue is that a) I can't fathom facebook being so important to a person's personal identity that they have to have certain things on there at all costs

That's what I said a couple pages back. I don't understand it either, but I am not Facebook's - or a sorority's - target market.

Our HQs pay out the wazoo for research on how to "brand" themselves, what shade of pink the new logo should be, how to reach this generation of students. It doesn't make sense to do all that and then in essence blow off how students feel about Facebook because the people running the sorority don't get it.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by 33girl

That's what I said a couple pages back. I don't understand it either, but I am not Facebook's - or a sorority's - target market.

Our HQs pay out the wazoo for research on how to "brand" themselves, what shade of pink the new logo should be, how to reach this generation of students. It doesn't make sense to do all that and then in essence blow off how students feel about Facebook because the people running the sorority don't get it.

I am. On both accounts. And I still don't get it.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl

I just can't understand how people can join any group and have serious issues with being asked to make small scarifices. That's part of being in a group. If we're talking about a chapter telling their members they can't associate with another group of people, for instance, or telling them they can't wear certain things (when they're not at a specific sorority event...asking members to dress a certain way during Recruitment is fine within reason), or telling them they have to weigh a certain amount...that's all too controlling. But asking people to clean up their facebook's? I guess my issue is that a) I can't fathom facebook being so important to a person's personal identity that they have to have certain things on there at all costs and b) I can't see why making small scarifices aren't expected when one joins a group or team.

If it were a complete either/or, I'd understand what you are saying. If I had to choose to be a member and let the group determine all my facebook content or resign my membership, I, of course, would choose the group over facebook. But that choice doesn't have to be made.

I like the option that says, your postings are your business, but if you choose to display the groups letters, symbols, etc, then you need to follow these rules. It's perfectly reasonable, but it must accept that some people will choose expression over displaying the letters, and to me that's okay. It's not that you are refusing to compromise; it's a different form of accepting the choices the group gives.