Transgender women in sorority life? - Page 7

amIblue? · #91 06-13-2014, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anna7363

They are my friends and disgruntled members had more loyalty to me then to you guys. Whether thats because you had treated them like garbage so they vented to me drunk at a party. Bitching about what terrible people you all are. Or they are good friends who trust me intimately and aren't going to bail on me just cause they got into a sorority.

I would hope that your friends would have more loyalty to you than to people that they have never met on the internet who happen to be fellow sorority members, also.

Thank you for being honest about your situation. I hate that this has happened to you. It sounds to me that you not only had the transgender issue to deal with insofar as getting a bid but also your upperclassman status to overcome.

It is TOUGH for seniors to get a bid, even in informal recruitment, even when they are perfect. The fact of the matter is that sororities usually want to give bids to women who are going to be around for a while. Getting rejected from something that you want hurts.

anna7363 · #92 06-13-2014, 05:20 PM

Well I never planned on tell you I am trans. I got outed by some random person whose behavior frankly feels stalkerish. She called me out by name in a private message (how she knows who I am is beyond me). I guess the hardest part about this all is that while you are right. Transgender people will have it better in 20 years from now. The reality is I'm still quite bitter about it. I will have been denied so many opportunities in life. It feels like as trans you need to be perfect in order to be adequate even in just normal social situations like church.

anna7363 · #93 06-13-2014, 05:22 PM

Well I wasn't actually a senior, I was a junior because I had two years left but yeah

anna7363 · #94 06-13-2014, 05:24 PM

Which probably actually speaks to the accuracy of the info people gave me. Because if she could guess who I was by the story alone, it kind of says volumes about what happened

amIblue? · #95 06-13-2014, 05:26 PM

Just a guess, but do you use the user name you're posting with here in other places online?

Of course, it could be someone involved with your campus, but usually, people are able to track others when they always use the same user name for their online presence.

anna7363 · #96 06-13-2014, 05:26 PM

I guess it also was important to me because all my step sisters are in sororities. So it was kind of expected of me to do. I was kind of a disappointment when I didn't get in.

carnation · #97 06-13-2014, 05:27 PM

Anna, I don't even know where to begin re: the ideas you have about sorority life. Believe me, if a sorority has 40 bids to give out in informal recruitment, they are in BIG trouble. They only gave out 9 of those? Here comes national to jerk their charter.

And a Greek Life adviser can't tell you that all the nationals said you could get a bid. I huugely doubt that any of them would go out on a limb and say that and it wouldn't be true anyway. A Greek Life adviser may not speak for the individual groups.

What's with the line "as long as you get a bid, the odds of you getting in are very high"? It's the same thing. Getting a bid=getting in.

You think you were kept out because of discrimination? Maybe, maybe not but we have many threads on GC about how it's practically impossible to get a bid as a senior. Even juniors are heavily cut on many campuses.

And I am still confused about your assertion that you know that non-Greeks at big campuses have no chance at a social life (due to what friends there told you) and that Greeks are denying trans people the opportunity to be involved on campus. So untrue.

This thread wins the award for the most disconnected thread in 14 years on Greekchat.

anna7363 · #98 06-13-2014, 05:27 PM

no I rarely use this user name actually

KDCat · #99 06-13-2014, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anna7363

Well I never planned on tell you I am trans. I got outed by some random person whose behavior frankly feels stalkerish. She called me out by name in a private message (how she knows who I am is beyond me). I guess the hardest part about this all is that while you are right. Transgender people will have it better in 20 years from now. The reality is I'm still quite bitter about it. I will have been denied so many opportunities in life. It feels like as trans you need to be perfect in order to be adequate even in just normal social situations like church.

It sucks. At least you're making it better for the people who come after you. You're not hiding and you're not closeted and the people who come after you will owe you a huge debt of thanks because by refusing to hide, you're opening the way for them.

sigmadiva · #**100** 06-13-2014, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDCat

(And can we stop talking about the state of people's genitals? Please. I don't have to whip mine out to prove that I'm a woman and trans people shouldn't have to whip theirs out, either.)

I honestly think a fraternity would have a harder time accepting a trans member than a sorority.

Trying not to talk about whipping out genitals here, but I think there are various ways guys like to prove how macho they are, and whipping out their member is one of them. I imagine if a F-> M trans was at a drunk fraternity party, and it was revealed that he is really a she, I don't think that would end well....

AZTheta · #**101** 06-13-2014, 05:30 PM

anna, this really is something that you need to seek support from in another venue - not a message board. That's my opinion. From what you have posted, you're very much upset and (self-stated) bitter. Those are issues that should be addressed elsewhere.

There are so many reasons that a PNM does not get a bid. We weren't there. We don't know. Even if we did, we wouldn't say, because membership selection is private.

anna7363 · #**102** 06-13-2014, 05:30 PM

Well I said that once about the campuses where greek life is big based on things my friends have told me (I actually am on a campus where involvement is very low). and yes that is what I was told, maybe she didn't have the authority or right to tell me that but she did. I was a PNM who didn't know better. And yeah I know they are in big trouble but that was kind of the point. That if they didn't give me a bid when they were that big of trouble it was out of spite more than anything

AOII Angel · #**103** 06-13-2014, 05:32 PM

Yeah, life can suck. When you aren't "normal" that a group is expecting, you may not have all the same experiences of everyone else. BUT like we tell every other PNM that comes to GC upset over not getting a bid, you CAN have a great college experience without sorority life. As much as fraternal bonds are great, your friendships can be as strong made through other on campus activities. We all have things in life that we are rejected from. You are not being forced to live a life that you don't want. I'm sorry not all doors are open to you, but that's life. We all have some doors that are closed to us. Bitterness is fine. I'm sure I would be in the same boat. Just don't miss out on too much as you have your pity party. The best revenge is to have a great time!

anna7363 · #**104** 06-13-2014, 05:33 PM

I mean I didn't come on here for support, I came on here for understanding. It kind of became a support thing tho. I didn't really intend for that to happen

KDCat · #**105** 06-13-2014, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anna7363

Well I said that once about the campuses where greek life is big based on things my friends have told me (I actually am on a campus where involvement is very low). and yes that is what I was told, maybe she didn't have the authority or right to tell me that but she did. I was a PNM who didn't know better. And yeah I know they are in big trouble but that was kind of the point. That if they didn't give me a bid when they were that big of trouble it was out of spite more than anything

Maybe they didn't want to take on the battle of fighting for trans acceptance when they were already in trouble numbers-wise. That's not spite, it's fear.