My Fall Recruitment Thread

[Ggirl617]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

This.

There are many red flags in your conflicts and doubts, your ups and downs, your highs and lows, which you are posting to the internet, where they will Live Forever. This no longer appears to be merely about Eyeliner.

We cannot give you any sort of reliable or valid feedback about Eyeliner and what you are feeling, because we are not living your life. You are.

I've re-read through this thread, and nowhere do I see the words "lying", or "ungrateful", until you used them.

What I do see are many supportive, patient, and encouraging responses.

Perhaps I can never reveal my school or chapter then. I'm sorry about leading you guys on. I admit I did not fully think through being able to eventually tell you guys. I'm not sure what you mean when you say this is not merely about eyeliner. I think my problem is that I am all good with eyeliner, until I start comparing.

I don't think your comment about the feedback is true. No one is living my life, but me, and I have gotten tons of helpful advice in my life from others.

Oh. I was confused why people were interpreting my words differently then. One of the people who responded was saying I was coming off differently, and I wanted to clarify that the words I wrote were exactly what I meant. I did not mean to use the word lying with a bad connotation, I simply meant, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, what I wrote is exactly what I meant. I didn't understand at first why they thought I meant something else. The only thing I could think of was that they maybe thought I was lying.

Someone said I wasn't being grateful, but it's ok, because she was right. I wasn't.

I agree there are many great responses as well that have helped me tremendously.

[dukemama]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

Perhaps I can never reveal my school or chapter then.

PERHAPS? You've dug yourself a pretty deep hole here...it's best if you remain as anonymous as possible.

[Ggirl617]

Ok, so I am anonymous. I still can't work through my story then? Dug myself a hole? Except for being ungrateful and not thinking through the anonymity I really don't see what I've done wrong. Again, I'm sorry if I've upset anyone.

[kddani]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

Ok, so I am anonymous. I still can't work through my story then? Dug myself a hole? Except for being ungrateful and not thinking through the anonymity I really don't see what I've done wrong. Again, I'm sorry if I've upset anyone.

As someone said, work out these issues in a diary or with a close friend or family member, or hell, even one of the eyeliner sisters that maybe you've talked to more than others or a fellow pledge. Here is just not appropriate. GC is not a therapy board for new members of sororities trying to work out their issues. Yes, we give advice, but your situation is well above and beyond that point.

If you want to continue to vent and "work through" your issues here, then be prepared for the feedback, particularly the negative, that you're going to receive. If you don't want that kind of feedback, then another, more private forum is much more appropriate.

[baci]

I would not reveal my school, my sorority, or any other information that people can use to piece together who you are!

I hope you can work through all of your issues. Best of Luck to you.

[FSUZeta]

ggirl, we are saying not to reveal your school or sorority in the event that someone from your school or worse still, your chapter, comes on greekchat, reads your thread and realizes who you are and how you really feel about your sorority.

it may be just something that is lost in the translation from you to the computer, but it sounds as if you are looking for reasons to be unhappy with your chapter and that you are not sure if you will continue your membership. it could be that i(we) have misinterpreted what you are trying to convey in written word, but if more than a few of us are interpreting your feelings in this way, then others might also-people who are from your chapter or your school. it could hurt you and it certainly would hurt your sorority sisters.

we can't make you love your sorority. that is something you are going to have to do on your own. your chapter has sent out an email inviting any of you who would like to, to bring a friend over to be considered for membership. this could be your opportunity to change the direction that you feel the sorority is headed in. instead of this being a burden, it could be a positive thing.your chapter is giving you and your pledge sisters(as well as the initiated members) a chance to make a decision that could change the way your chapter is perceived on campus, by allowing you to have a say by bringing a prospective member over for the sisters to meet. not many new members get a chance like this this early in their membership. it is a glass half full or half empty situation and i look at it as a half full one.

[Ggirl617]

Originally Posted by kddani

As someone said, work out these issues in a diary or with a close friend or family member, or hell, even one of the eyeliner sisters that maybe you've talked to more than others or a fellow pledge. Here is just not appropriate. GC is not a therapy board for new members of sororities trying to work out their issues. Yes, we give advice, but your situation is well above and beyond that point.

If you want to continue to vent and "work through" your issues here, then be prepared for the feedback, particularly the negative, that you're going to receive. If you don't want that kind of feedback, then another, more private forum is much more appropriate.

I just don't understand why all the feedback is negative. There are positive and negative aspects to sorority life and I'm only allowed to mention one? I don't personally agree with that, but if those are the rules of this forum, I THOROUGHLY apologize and I will stop. I personally don't believe my situation is so extraordinary, I just think I'm more vocal about it than others. I explained why I chose this place to talk, and if I was being inappropriate I wanted the moderators to explain why and I would abstain.

[Ggirl617]

Originally Posted by baci

I would not reveal my school, my sorority, or any other information that people can use to piece together who you are!

I hope you can work through all of your issues. Best of Luck to you.

I agree and thank you.

[Ggirl617]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

ggirl, we are saying not to reveal your school or sorority in the event that someone from your school or worse still, your chapter, comes on greekchat, reads your thread and realizes who you are and how you really feel about your sorority.

it may be just something that is lost in the translation from you to the computer, but it sounds as if you are looking for reasons to be unhappy with your chapter and that you are not sure if you will continue your membership. it could be that i(we) have misinterpreted what you are trying to convey in written word, but if more than a few of us are interpreting your feelings in this way, then others might also-people who are from your chapter or your school. it could hurt you and it certainly would hurt your sorority sisters.

we can't make you love your sorority. that is something you are going to have to do on your own. your chapter has sent out an email inviting any of you who would like to, to bring a friend over to be considered for membership. this could be your opportunity to change the direction that you feel the sorority is headed in. instead of this being a burden, it could be a positive thing.your chapter is giving you and your pledge sisters(as well as the initiated members) a chance to make a decision that could change the way your chapter is perceived on campus, by allowing you to have a say by bringing a prospective member over for the sisters to meet. not many new members get a chance like this this early in their membership. it is a glass half full or half empty situation and i look at it as a half full one.

No, I know, and I agree (about the revealing aspect).

I'm not looking for reasons to be unhappy I just don't deny that it exists. I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING TO FORGET ALL THIS AND BE HAPPY WITH EYELINER. THAT IS WHY I AM HERE TRYING (sorry FSUZeta, I am not yelling this at you, I just want to let everyone know)

I will give inviting my friends an honest effort. Any tips on how to approach people to ask about it?

[Ggirl617]

Also, I'd like to say that there are many positive things about eyeliner. I think I haven't conveyed them as much because obviously I am all good with them! I mention the negative things because those are the issues, so I want to take a second and tell everyone why eyeliner is AMAZING!

1)Probably the nicest and most accepting girls you have ever met in your life
2)Hilarious, full of energy
3)Philanthropy that is centered in my hometown!!
4)Love to go out and have fun
5)Best bid day shirts I've ever seen (alright not so significant but I thought I'd throw it in there)
6)The girls care not only about the social aspects of the sorority, but are serious about school too

ETC ETC

[FSUZeta]

see those are all good , concrete things!! and this is the first you have mentioned them.

i can promise you that there are new members in every chapter anywhere, that are wondering "what if ?" or the proverbial "grass in always greener". i think that is human nature, but it seemed to be approaching obsessive in your posts. i am glad to see some positive things about eyeliner.

if your chapter has a house and serves meals, invite a friend over to share a meal. if not, try to arrange with some of your sisters to meet you and your friend in the cafeteria/food court for lunch, or at starbucks for a coffee. i would imagine that your vp recruitment will be holding some organized events, but you could email her to see.

does your chapter have a day where you all wear your letters or dress up and wear your badges? the chapter i advise does both those things, and on the letters day, they make an effort to sit as a group in the cafeteria-of course, they have girls coming and going as their class schedules dictate. that would be a good day to ask a friend to join you. if your chapter doesn't do this-maybe they would if you suggested it.

[gee_ess]

Like SO SO many other things in life, it is important to focus on the good and ignore the bad. It is time for you to do just that.

Keep adding to the list (daily if you can) of positives about eyeliner. Also, Eevery time you entertain a negative or bad thought about your sorority, quickly turn your thoughts elsewhere.

Soon, the negative will begin to fade because you will have put so much more emphasis on the positive aspects of eyeliner.

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I'm not looking for reasons to be unhappy I just don't deny that it exists. I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING TO FORGET ALL THIS AND BE HAPPY WITH EYELINER. THAT IS WHY I AM HERE TRYING (sorry FSUZeta, I am not yelling this at you, I just want to let everyone know)

I will give inviting my friends an honest effort. Any tips on how to approach people to ask about it?

I know it's only been a week or so and you're still adjusting. It's just going to take time, as difficult as it is sometimes. You don't have to convince us of anything which is kind of what it feels like you're trying to do (again, much is probably being lost in translation). Everyone has had those "what if" moments. I know I had them plenty of times even during my junior and senior year. You just have to shake them off and tell yourself "For better or worse, this is how things ended up, and I'm going to make the best of it!"

The things you listed that are amazing about Eyeliner are Awesome! Keep focusing on those! Like gee_ess suggested, keep adding more to the list as you continue in your new member period.

As far as inviting friends - I think asking them to go get coffee or ice cream with some other pledge sisters is a good idea. Wear your bid day shirt or other letter shirts around campus. If your chapter has any upcoming open events (philanthropy, etc...) invite them to that.

[Ggirl617]

I know everyone just says ignore the bad. Again, I can't. For me, it will not simply go away. I think a lot of this is time. This is very VERY recent.

I will see if there are any recruitment events I can actually bring the girls too. Otherwise, if it is just done more casually, what sort of things can I say? I just can't think of how I can phrase it to bring it up. "Want to join a sorority?" I dunno that sounds weird to me.

[AOII Angel]

Don't ask them if they want to join. That's not your job. Ask them if they would like to meet some of your friends. Let your sisters do the rest.