Soliloquy's Fall 2007 recruitment

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I have to say I completely agree with you there, OTW! I can't believe how PSYCHO people can be on this site...the recent case of an outing was unfortunate and unfair considering the girl was no more judgemental than I'm sure 98% of the other PNMs are! I would definitely be hesitent to post anything until after the fact given the history of this site!!

I just want to point out that as far as that "outing" was concerned, it was done by someone in their FIRST post...NOT a longtime GC member. It was shitty, no doubt, but blaming it on people who post frequently on GC isn't fair.

As far as fantASTic's post, I don't see where she said anyone was or wasn't "worthy" - just that they might not be a good fit for Greek life and they shouldn't be told they'd be a great asset when they should really stop trying. Maybe rush parties are short, but once someone goes through formal twice and cob 3 times...I would say the chapter's had time enough to get to know her. Those are the people fantASTic is talking about. It's like they think they can "wear them down" - that the sorority will get so tired of seeing them at rush parties that they'll say "oh whatever, let's give her a bid."

"Can we have a pool, Dad?"

"Can we have a pool, Dad?"

"Can we have a pool, Dad?"

[kddani]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Maybe rush parties are short, but once someone goes through formal twice and cob 3 times...I would say the chapter's had time enough to get to know her.

And people seem to think that rush is the only time anyone in the chapter has spoken or gotten to know these girls in any way. To use OP as an example, she rushed as a sophomore and already knew people in the groups. It's not like they knew her in the rush vacuum.

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

In what way does "XYZ doesn't know what they're missing" give PNMs false hope? Do PNMs somehow think that GC members will get a vote at recruitment? I think it is completely reasonable to tell a PNM (even if you've only met her online) that she would make a great member even if the blind girls at her school don't see it. It's a personal opinion that I'm sure a PNM won't confuse with the thoughts of another sorority at another campus. There are some people who need pep talks along the way. I'm not one of them, but my bio sister called home crying after signing her bid card. While I thought she was silly, who am I to tell her that her feelings are not valid. One positive word can make the difference to a hurting girl who isn't sure what to do. If Soliloquy wants to give it another try, more power to her. She WOULD make a great asset. That does not mean she will actually get a bid, but she definitely never would if she didn't try.

The problem is...you may know her personality, what she's done and other stuff about her, but you DO NOT KNOW that she will "make a great asset". You don't know little stuff - some people sound GREAT on paper or online, but in real life they're incredibly annoying and self-centered. [Not that she necessarily is...but YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.] Someone who has a high GPA and many activities and positions on her resume does NOT a good member make. And THAT is the key.

And, the problem with telling them that they'll make a great asset to a sorority is that for girls who will NEVER fit into the greek system, it only encourages them to keep trying and keep trying and keep trying...and keep failing. I don't know if you've ever read the "Weird Rush" stories, but there are definitely some about girls who keep going through and going through and going through and NEVER getting bids, because even though they think they're perfect for it and Mommy and those nice girls on the internet tell them that they're great assets and should do it again and again, they don't realize that maybe Greek life isn't for them. Maybe if someone had sat down that girl and said, "You need to seriously reconsider never rushing again, because Greek life is NOT for everyone", then they wouldn't get that heartbreak over and over again.

If Soliloquy gets cut from all 4 sororities again, are you STILL going to say that she would make a great asset? What if she rushes again and gets cut completely again? Unless you're prepared to tell her that all those horrible chapter sisters at her school are so bad and wrong for cutting her not matter HOW many times she rushes, [since that's basically what you're saying, that you don't trust their judgment] then you should not say it in the first place.

And in case that last part was unclear, any girl who rushes multiple times and does not get a bid is probably not a good fit for Greek life. I trust my sisters to make decisions, and I would NEVER head over to any other chapter and tell them, "You made a HUGE mistake cutting this girl!" especially if I didn't know her in person or before recruitment. We simply need to trust their judgment.



To the OP: Please don't take what I said above as an attack on you, because it isn't. There ARE women who fall through the cracks, and if you're one of them, then you should be fine when you re-rush. This is less about you than it is about people making misleading promises. Even if you don't take them like that, others will. Good luck with recruitment, and let us know how it goes.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

The problem is...you may know her personality, what she's done and other stuff about her, but you DO NOT KNOW that she will "make a great asset". You don't know little stuff - some people sound GREAT on paper or online, but in real life they're incredibly annoying and self-centered. [Not that she necessarily is...but YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.] Someone who has a high GPA and many activities and positions on her resume does NOT a good member make. And THAT is the key.

And, the problem with telling them that they'll make a great asset to a sorority is that for girls who will NEVER fit into the greek system, it only encourages them to keep trying and keep trying and keep trying...and keep failing. I don't know if you've ever read the "Weird Rush" stories, but there are definitely some about girls who keep going through and going through and going through and NEVER getting bids, because even though they think they're perfect for it and Mommy and those nice girls on the internet tell them that they're great assets and should do it again and again, they don't realize that maybe Greek life isn't for them. Maybe if someone had sat down that girl and said, "You need to seriously reconsider never rushing again, because Greek life is NOT for everyone", then they wouldn't get that heartbreak over and over again.

If Soliloquy gets cut from all 4 sororities again, are you STILL going to say that she would make a great asset? What if she rushes again and gets cut completely again? Unless you're prepared to tell her that all those horrible chapter sisters at her school are so bad and wrong for cutting her not matter HOW many times she rushes, [since that's basically what you're saying, that you don't trust their judgment] then you should not say it in the first place.

And in case that last part was unclear, any girl who rushes multiple times and does not get a bid is probably not a good fit for Greek life. I trust my sisters to make decisions, and I would NEVER head over to any other chapter and tell them, "You made a HUGE mistake cutting this girl!" especially if I didn't know her in person or before recruitment. We simply need to trust their judgment.



To the OP: Please don't take what I said above as an attack on you, because it isn't. There ARE women who fall through the cracks, and if you're one of them, then you should be fine when you re-rush. This is less about you than it is about people making misleading promises. Even if you don't take them like that, others will. Good luck with recruitment, and let us know how it goes.

So what your saying is that if a woman does not receive a bid to a sorority, then obviously she has nothing to offer and could not be a good asset to a group! I completely disagree. Do you really think that meeting someone for 10 minutes at a recruitment party gives you anymore insight into a PNM than talking to someone several times through PNMs in a less pressured and superficial situation? We all know there are many, many great women who never make it into the system for one reason or another. The number of psychos like you mentioned in the Weird Rush Stories thread are the exception not the rule! Not to mention, self centered people often do make good chapter members as well. You'll never find a chapter filled with only down to earth, 4.0, mothering types who would rather do for you than do for themselves! I am completely opposed to the idea that Soliloquy isn't WORTHY because she didn't get a bid...that is ridiculous and disrespectful to a woman you obviously don't know any better than I do! I don't think the sorority members at her school are bad, they just may not see that she would be a great asset (yes, I'll say great asset, because strong leaders are a great asset!) Of course, there may be something in Soliloquy's history that is keeping her out, but that often isn't reasonable either. Recruitment is not perfect, we all say it, so don't act like a PNM must be trash or unworthy if it doesn't work out for her. And...NO, I wouldn't recommend that she try and try and try to get in, but I definitely would recommend that she at least give it one more try. Last time I checked, we give that advice to PNMs on a twice daily basis at GC!

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

don't act like a PNM must be trash or unworthy

Hey hey hey, now, I haven't seen one post that even slightly referred to Soliloquy or any PNM as "trash" or "unworthy". Don't put defamatory words in people's mouths that just don't happen to agree with you.

we give that advice to PNMs on a twice daily basis at GC!

That depends entirely on who you define as "we".

[Senusret I]

You know what...... they didn't want her. I really don't see what the problem is here. Sorority life isn't for her, so say the sororities on her campus.

It's POSSIBLE that if none of the 4 sororities needed more members that MAYBE there's a need for a fifth sorority. But probably not.

I say the people in this chick's corner continue to be her friend IRL, on email, on IMs, whatever. But don't tell folks to cut her slack or not be bitchy, because frankly I WISH somebody would gain a "position" on their campus or out in the world and think that makes them more desirable to me IF I ALREADY VOTED NO.

[Benzgirl]

I agree that trying a second time is a very good idea. I would caution that the OP did not rush as a Freshman, which makes her a second semester Sophomore (or higher based on her credit hours). With her being in the south, we all know how difficult it is to get a bid when you are a Junior.

If the Soliloquy is going to try again, it will need to be soon, and she needn't focus on her accomplishments which she acknowledged that she did during Formal. If something does come around, she should try again but this time let her personality show through. There is nothing wrong with us to encourage it; the OP knows it will be more difficult the second time around.

[nittanyalum]

WHEW! Now THAT was a soliloquy!

I wish you well, seriously. I hope you get what you want, whatever that is.

[barnard1897]

Soliloquy-if you feel you have something to offer the Greek system on campus and still hope to find a sisterhood that enriches your college experience, then keep the faith. None of us can say for certain what the houses on your campus will do next go around--wheter they will be open-minded and see the positive things you feel you can bring to the table, as well as look past your more senior stage in school. All you can do at this point is put your best foot forward.

I have seen time and time again that it only takes a few influential people in a house to sway the vote of a chapter one way or the other. I truly hope your new position gives you the chance to make a positive impression and that it will open sorority doors for you. In any given chapter, there are all kinds of personalities. Some are aggressive, some are quiet. Some women are gregarious and others are softspoken. My chapter had very confident leaders, and others who preferred to lay low. I sense you have confidence about yourself and what you have accomplished. When you go through again, perhaps that will shine through and lead to a better result for you. From what you have indicated, even if you don't find a house, you'll be able to keep moving forward with good accomplishments. I think that's great.