Obesity

tunatartare · #1 07-18-2006, 02:00 PM

Creating a new thread so as not to hijack the Raven Symone thread:

A friend of mine and I were having this discussion on Friday night. With restaurant portions getting bigger and bigger, obesity is a big problem in America and can lead to heart disease and death. If you have a friend that smokes, it is considered socially responsible and acceptable to tell that person to quit, yet if you have a friend who's obese (not overweight but obese), if you tell that person that (s)he needs to lose some weight for medical reasons, then you are being insulting and a bad friend. Do you think this will change? If you were obese, would you want your friends to tell you to do something about it? Discuss.

_Lisa_ · #2 07-18-2006, 02:08 PM

I'd prefer to hear it from my doctor. Who is my friend to say that I'm obese or just overweight? I have an unhealthy idea of overweight vs. obese...to me if you're overweight you might as well just be obese. So you definitely wouldn't want me to push my unhealthy idea of overweight vs. obese on someone who could only stand to lose 4-5 lbs.

Encourage your friends to be healthier by example, you don't necessarily have to call them out.

KSigkid · #3 07-18-2006, 02:20 PM

I think that telling a friend that they are obese will, for the foreseeable future, be something that will make the friend uncomfortable and end up causing some sort of disagreement.

Where my real issue lies is with situations like this:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/07/05....ap/index.html

If we get to a point where doctors can't use the word "obese," or must tread extra lightly when discussing weight issues with patients, I think we've gone too far.

tunatartare · #4 07-18-2006, 02:25 PM

If I were obese, it would hurt a lot more to hear it from my friends than from my doctor. However, I only see my doctor once every year or so for a check up, so she doesn't know that much about my day-to-day activities and such. My friends would know my eating habits better and would be able to provide me with examples and suggestions.

_Lisa_ · #5 07-18-2006, 02:39 PM

Obesity isn't something that just springs out of nowhere. Your doctor should be able to see it coming & make recommendations when he does get a chance to see you.

If you want to approach your friends for advice on eating out & ask for examples/suggestions then thats one thing. Its another for someone to come up out of the blue & say "Sweetie, you know you're my best friend. I'll love you always. But I think you eat too much of the wrong kinds of food & are obese."

I think that qualified professionals should be doling out medical advice instead of friends, at least until the obese friend opens the door for discussion. And as for the similarity to smoking, I think the line is drawn at the medical dangers. Smoking isn't an attack at how you perceive yourself.

squirrely girl · #6 07-18-2006, 03:00 PM

i tend to feel that supporting a healthy lifestyle and changes like that are better than just calling a person obese (hello its not like the don't ALREADY know) - however, i also believe that if you really are only seeing your doc once a year it is a lot easier to avoid/fool/lie to them than it is to do to your friends.

my mom is diabetic and puts on a damn show for her doc every couple of months and tries to bs people into believing that she is completely in control of her health when in all honesty she eats irregularly, when she does eat it is poorly, forgets to take her meds and doesn't freaking exersize - i think that she truly believes what she is telling to the doc and others and is in a complete state of denial regarding her diabetes - i call her on it regularly but it doesn't seem to make a difference so who knows?

- m

Rudey · #7 07-18-2006, 02:37 PM

The easiest way to deal with it is to not be friends with fatties.

-Rudey

valkyrie · #8 07-18-2006, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLPDaisy

If you have a friend that smokes, it is considered socially responsible and acceptable to tell that person to quit, yet if you have a friend who's obese (not overweight but obese), if you tell that person that (s)he needs to lose some weight for medical reasons, then you are being insulting and a bad friend. Do you think this will change? If you were obese, would you want your friends to tell you to do something about it? Discuss.

I don't agree that it's socially responsible and acceptable to tell someone to quit smoking. Telling your friends what to do is never a good idea, period.

If I were obsese, I'm pretty sure I'm smart enough to be able to figure that out on my own without any friends telling me.

PM_Mama00 · #9 07-18-2006, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I don't agree that it's socially responsible and acceptable to tell someone to quit smoking. Telling your friends what to do is never a good idea, period.

If I were obsese, I'm pretty sure I'm smart enough to be able to figure that out on my own without any friends telling me.

Agreed. The only time I really tell my friends what to do is when they are endangering their lives or someone else's life... for example drunk driving, etc.

f8nacn · #10 07-18-2006, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

Agreed. The only time I really tell my friends what to do is when they are endangering their lives or someone else's life... for example drunk driving, etc.

Are you truly a friend then????

valkyrie · #11 07-18-2006, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by f8nacn

Are you truly a friend then????

Yes, I think so. A "friend" is someone who respects you and doesn't tell you what to do.

f8nacn · #12 07-18-2006, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

Yes, I think so. A "friend" is someone who respects you and doesn't tell you what to do.

There is a difference in being respectful and authoritative and being disrespectful and authoritative...I don't friends who, as I mentioned earlier, will not tell me like it is, no matter how I may feel in the end if it is for my good...

PM_Mama00 · #13 07-18-2006, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by f8nacn

Are you truly a friend then????

I chose my friends because of who they are. If I wanted to tell her what to do, then why would I choose her? I'll suggest things nicely, give her advice when needed, and help her with things, but when it comes to my best friends the only thing i feel the need to tell them about is their drunk driving.

f8nacn · #14 07-18-2006, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

I chose my friends because of who they are. If I wanted to tell her what to do, then why would I choose her? I'll suggest things nicely, give her advice when needed, and help her with things, but when it comes to my best friends the only thing i feel the need to tell them about is their drunk driving.

That's my point exactly...you shouldn't choose a friend based on looks...that person could be the very person to stick to you when times are hard....and when you need someone to be there for you.

Telling someone WHAT TO DO is different than offering suggestions and input...

BobbyTheDon · #15 07-18-2006, 07:09 PM

A friend of mine is about 5'11 and was around 220 when I first knew him. Pretty overweight for him considering not alot of it was muscle. He always swore he would lose the weight. He slowly gained wait over the years up to 250 and swore again he would lose it. I saw him a few weeks ago and he is HUGE. I thought he would be atleast 300 lbs, but he says he is 270. I straight up told him he was a fatass. I don't care if its nice or not. I don't want my friends to be unhealthy and fat. Disgusting!