sister who wants to deactivate to join another sorority

[33girl]

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
Eeesh, and you have to be a really bad girl to have your membership terminated by the sorority!

Not necessarily - some sororities terminate for relatively innocuous things, like nonpayment of dues. Once you pay up you can get reinstated. (Note I say "some" not "all.")

Tau alumna - she cannot join the new NPC group. She can't have her name on the charter. They may, however, choose to recognize her somehow - for example, we have a Phoenix recognition pin we can present to sweethearts or advisors who may have been in another NPC group. Something like that could be done.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by 33girl
Not necessarily - some sororities terminate for relatively innocuous things, like nonpayment of dues. Once you pay up you can get reinstated. (Note I say "some" not "all.")

Tau alumna - she cannot join the new NPC group. She can't have her name on the charter. They may, however, choose to recognize her somehow - for example, we have a Phoenix recognition pin we can present to sweethearts or advisors who may have been in another NPC group. Something like that could be done.

So basically, if she's still an undergrad, she becomes an alumna of the local rather than continue as an active of the new sorority?

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by cutiepatootie
To me honestly i dont know how anyone can look at themselves in the mirror and think it is ok to pull of this fascade because you knew the rules of NPC and if it was me trying to hide and double track all my lies and misgivings would make me feel unbelievably guilty in every sense and sooooo disloyal to my chapter and sisters.

I will flat out tell you I think it's a bad rule. I'll tell Martha Brown, Betty Quick, Julie Burkhard, Linda Collier, and Patty Disque I think it's a bad rule too. I've elaborated on why in several other threads.

I don't like the fact that they say we can't be loyal for life to two organizations - what about everybody who's in a social GLO, a service GLO, a business GLO, a church, Knights of Columbus, the VFW, the Lions Club, etc?

[33girl]

Originally posted by Taualumna
So basically, if she's still an undergrad, she becomes an alumna of the local rather than continue as an active of the new sorority?

Yes.

[aephi alum]

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
Taualumna, that's interesting. The only thing I have to say about that is, it's probably never happened.

The NPCs all have rules about how long you have to be a local (and how many girls, etc.) before you can apply to colonize. Then the colonization application takes forever and a day. Then usually you have to be a colony for X period of time before you're initated.

So I'd imagine unless you were on the 20 year plan it wouldn't happen.

Actually, colonization can happen in a pretty short timeframe. My chapter went from interest group to local sorority to colony to chapter in a total of 2-1/2 years (and the founders were actually initiated a few months before the chapter was chartered). Theoretically, with that timeframe, someone could have been initiated into XYZ (an NPC sorority), deaffiliated, been initiated into a local, then have to deaffiliate when the local decides to go ABC (another NPC sorority).

In this situation, if you'd formally deaffiliated from XYZ, you would become an alum of your local and that's that. If not (say, if you'd transferred), you'd still be an XYZ. In neither case could you be initiated into ABC.

[AGDAlum]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by AXJules
[B]Um yeah I know. But Greek Life is very strict at Mizzou-we follow all policies to the letter.

Hey, Jules! I tried to PM you about a Mizzou AX event but your mailbox is full....

[Little E]

I have a question.
Yea so it is against "THE RULES" we cherish in that annoying Green Binder but so what. We have sisters who quit our chapter and sisters who quit another sorority to join us. (Before anyone freaks, they quit a local, waited 2 years, then pledged last fall.) We had a woman depledge and now she is working to bring another NPC to campus. Here's my thing. If someone doesn't want to be part of our sisterhood, fine. That is their choice. They should have the freedom to move on and find a home. Isn't that what sorority life is all about? People change over the years. I loved my sorority when I first joined, now there are many days when I wonder why I do it. I wouldn't go join another group because that would feel wrong for me. But what about Susie who got locked in a closet for hours, paddled, and what ever else people can concieve of to 'bond' w/their new members? Say she get initiated and just can't deal with it, major regrets, she resigns all affiliation. We are now saying a NPC sorority is never allowed to be part of her life. It isn't like women are going to go around an join all 26 organizations to know our secrets, frankly they are probably not all that interesting without the people in th org actually meaning something to you.

Life would continue, for example, when AES merged into NPC all those women had to choose which sorority to stay with. The world as we know it did not come apart, in fact we are still walking around, so it might not have been a major NPC life-threatening event.

Those are just my thoughts, Take 'em or leave 'em, but please be nice.

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
I will flat out tell you I think it's a bad rule. I'll tell Martha Brown, Betty Quick, Julie Burkhard, Linda Collier, and Patty Disque I think it's a bad rule too. I've elaborated on why in several other threads.

I agree 110%. I understand the reasoning behind it, but I can also understand what it feels like to transfer schools and not have your GLO at that new school... to miss greek life and not have anyone to share it with.

I went back to school for a semester to a school that didn't have DO. I was so lost... I started to pledge a local but dropped out quickly (long story). Had I gone on to initiate, or been eligible to become a member of an NPC sorority... I would still love DO all the same.

Like I said... I understand the reasoning for this rule. But the actual people are much different than the black & white of the green book (too many colours!)

[33girl]

Like anything else, we unfortunately have to make this rule based on the lowest common denominator out there. I'm sure there are women out there who could handle leaving one NPC and joining another gracefully, but I'm just as sure that there are women who would use that leeway to be just plain bitches.

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
I will flat out tell you I think it's a bad rule. I'll tell Martha Brown, Betty Quick, Julie Burkhard, Linda Collier, and Patty Disque I think it's a bad rule too. I've elaborated on why in several other threads.

I don't like the fact that they say we can't be loyal for life to two organizations - what about everybody who's in a social GLO, a service GLO, a business GLO, a church, Knights of Columbus, the VFW, the Lions Club, etc?

Ditto. I talked about transfers and why I think they should be allowed to re-join a different group at their new school (provided their old group isn't there) in another thread, but we hardly touched on people double-initiating at the same campus and I don't think it's necessarily as terrible as people have said. We like to think that all Greeks are as great as us but that is clearly not the case -- and a lot of things are hidden, especially in sororities, until after initiation. There have been girls who have joined a house only to find out that half the members have a coke problem that is bringing the whole house down. There have been guys who joined a house and had one of their brothers rape one of their female friends. There have been a lot of cases where people were betrayed by people who were supposed to be their sisters and brothers.

And honestly? I think it is absolutely fantastic that there are people who have such open minds that they are willing to try Greek life again, that they are willing to say, "Okay, that was horrible but not all Greeks are like this." Because nobody would blame them for buying into Greek "stereotypes" if they're proven true to them. But there are people out there who have been screwed over and they still believe in true brotherhood/sisterhood and I think it's ridiculous to deprive them of that. Isn't that exactly the kind of person we want in our organizations?

In thirty years, do we want these people saying to their kids, "Yeah, I was in a fraternity in college and all we did was party and I ended up getting into some bad isht because of it and almost dropping out of school before I ended up dropping the fraternity instead. I don't want that to happen to you"? Or do we want them saying, "I was in one fraternity in college that was a really bad experience, but I ended up joining a different one where the guys were all really great and supportive and I'm still friends with a lot of them today and they came to my dad's funeral when he died, and I would give anything for you to have that same experience"?

Personally I think Greek life is a contract, and if an organization doesn't give you what they promised -- in this case brotherhood or sisterhood -- then you should be able to drop without getting punished. It's not your fault. Of course there should be rules, or there will be lots of cases like AXJules mentioned where people just drop out because they want to join another house for no good reason. But I think that there enough times where people drop for decent reasons that this rule should be at least reconsidered.

[Glitterkitty]

Maybe the NPC should have a rule similar to the NIC one. A member can initiate into a second if they acquire a letter from the first stating that membership is canceled. I would definitely limit it to two and definitely limit it to tranfer situations. That way, no one would be bouncing from group to group, but people who have bad experiences at one school could get a fresh start. And if the second organization is knowledgable of the past and is still willing to accept that person as a new member, then I guess it would be a chapter by chapter thing. I mean honestly, other than it being a rule, is there a difference between being a sister of an NPC and a local/regional/ multi-cultural? They are all social. They are all great in their own ways. Why is one morally OK and the other not? I mean I know it's a rule and all but why not say no socials at all instead of just NPC socials.

[rho4life]

Originally posted by breathesgelatin
For anyone who doesn't know, absolutuscchick (Rachel) was a member of a local sorority, transferred, and joined an NPC sorority--Kappa Delta.

For the NPC/NPHC thing, I think it would depend. If a woman transferred in who was an NPHC member (we don't have any NPHC orgs on my campus ), and wanted to find a sisterhood on our campus, I think we'd strongly consider her if we felt her motives were sincere and that she could be committed to both orgs. However, I don't know how her NPHC sisters would view that. My guess is--probably not so well. If an NPHC org were to come to our campus and women from our chapter wanted to join I think we'd be cool with that unless they were rude about it. I have a sorority sister who plans to join as an alum after college to the NPHC group her mother, grandmother, and sister are a part of.

If a woman was initiated into an NPHC org, transferred and went to a campus w/o her org, I STRONGLY doubt she would go through NPC rush. They would likely try to start a new chapter.

My previous question [apologies if it was unclear ] was more along the lines of - Would an NPC org view membership in a NPHC org as an immediate disqualification?

[MiAngel711]

Maybe the NPC should have a rule similar to the NIC one. A member can initiate into a second if they acquire a letter from the first stating that membership is canceled. I would definitely limit it to two and definitely limit it to tranfer situations. That way, no one would be bouncing from group to group, but people who have bad experiences at one school could get a fresh start. And if the second organization is knowledgable of the past and is still

That makes so much sense...I'm suprised NPC hasn't picked up that idea yet!!! Whats good for the gander is also good for the goose or how ever that goes!

A good high school friend of mine who rushed last fall (2003), had a major falling out with her NPC group shortly after she became a full member, leading to some serious emotional abuse by another member among other drama! Her only options were deactivate or early alumna or something like that. As you can imagine, her opinions of greek life are very distorted...like we need any more negative PR. Particulary for that NPC. She feels very cheated out of well rounded college life and frankly I would too!

I mean the lifetime membership law has its heart in the right place, but I think its more detrimental in as many cases as it tries to help.

NIC has it right, make it circumstantial and consentual between GLOs.

[kdonline]

Originally posted by DGMarie
If you terminate your membership from DG, you can never, EVER join DG again. Ever.

Same with Kappa Delta.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by MiAngel711
That makes so much sense...I'm suprised NPC hasn't picked up that idea yet!!! Whats good for the gander is also good for the goose or how ever that goes!

A good high school friend of mine who rushed last fall (2003), had a major falling out with her NPC group shortly after she became a full member, leading to some serious emotional abuse by another member among other drama! Her only options were deactivate or early alumna or something like that. As you can imagine, her opinions of greek life are very distorted...like we need any more negative PR. Particulary for that NPC. She feels very cheated out of well rounded college life and frankly I would too!

I mean the lifetime membership law has its heart in the right place, but I think its more detrimental in as many cases as it tries to help.

NIC has it right, make it circumstantial and consentual between GLOs.

Say this DOES happen: A girl transfers to her new school and the new rules state that she can join another NPC since her new school doesn't have XYZ. She joins ABC, but then her a chapter of XYZ colonizes at her school. What happens then? I'm wondering if that's the reason NPC's going to give for not changing the rules.