Transgender women in sorority life?

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by anna7363

They are my friends and disgruntled members had more loyalty to me then to you guys. Whether thats because you had treated them like garbage so they vented to me drunk at a party. Bitching about what terrible people you all are. Or they are good friends who trust me intimately and aren't going to bail on me just cause they got into a sorority.

I would hope that your friends would have more loyalty to you than to people that they have never met on the internet who happen to be fellow sorority members, also.

Thank you for being honest about your situation. I hate that this has happened to you. It sounds to me that you not only had the transgender issue to deal with insofar as getting a bid but also your upperclassman status to overcome.

It is TOUGH for seniors to get a bid, even in informal recruitment, even when they are perfect. The fact of the matter is that sororities usually want to give bids to women who are going to be around for a while. Getting rejected from something that you want hurts.

[anna7363]

Well I wasn't actually a senior, I was a junior because I had two years left but yeah

[anna7363]

@AZTheta, This is why I didn't want to tell you guys. So I actually had a voice of some sorts here and could contribute. But clearly there are people who couldn't deal with it and had to out me

[33girl]

Anyone who tells you that you have "a real fair chance of getting in" is doing you a disservice. Especially if they're a relatively new member who isn't sure of all policies and/or the amount of pull they have in the sorority. Especially if they're a student affairs employee who knows nothing about the individual sororities' policies. This applies to ANY rushee. It's people not checking the facts and promoting a roses and daisies world.

I think AOIIAngel hit the nail on the head with her post.

[AZTheta]

But anna, truthfully, by being mendacious at the outset, you lost credibility.

Like I said, I'm going to focus on the larger issue. I'm thinking our founders didn't have any of these issues before them.

[anna7363]

@AZTheta Thats fine, I was never on here to complain about me anyways. I just wanted to hear your guys honest thoughts about this.

[anna7363]

The people who told me this was actually the head of sorority life at my school. Her exact quote was "as long as you get a bid the odds of you getting in are very high. As in, as long as you don't kill a sister you will be initiated". I found out later that the advisors had been informed that I was trans explicitly to keep me out. Despite the fact the head of sorority life at my school said that every sorority on campus had their national office say I was eligible for a bid.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by anna7363

The people who told me this was actually the head of sorority life at my school. Her exact quote was "as long as you get a bid the odds of you getting in are very high. As in, as long as you don't kill a sister you will be initiated". I found out later that the advisors had been informed that I was trans explicitly to keep me out. Despite the fact the head of sorority life at my school said that every sorority on campus had their national office say I was eligible for a bid.

@ the bold: You answered your own question.


Just know that a person's character, reputation, and lifestyle are the 'soft criteria' that are also taken into consideration for membership - whether it is fair or not, it is done.

In this age of 24/7, everything on social media, it is harder to hide who you are these days. Back in my day of joining, it was all word of mouth which may or may not have been true, so it was easy to ignore. Now, not at all when people post everything about their life on the web.

[AZTheta]

anna, this is about you, isn't it? Despite your previous post saying it wasn't. I just need to establish that, because we have two tracks going now - your experience, and the larger picture of transgender membership. FWiwI also agree with AOIIAngel's viewpoint.

I'm simply getting perspective. And membership selection is private, so you really don't know what went on, regardless of what you were told. The bottom line is that you did not receive a bid from an NPC sorority (and you were rushing as a senior?).

[anna7363]

techically, but I was a junior in practice. But still

[anna7363]

You had one sorority that had 40 bids to give away at the informal.They gave away 9 which means they still had 31 bids left to give. But yeah my friends in that particular sorority told me what happened. It was the situation I described in my very first post.

[anna7363]

Maybe I should just leave the chat? Honestly I got the answers I wanted

[AZTheta]

anna, no sorority can be forced to issue bids. That's a whole other conversation. Membership selection.

I'm sincerely sorry about your experience, and now want to focus on the larger issue. It requires research and thinking and not shooting from the hip.

[anna7363]

I never said a sorority can be forced to issue a bid. The whole point was that there was a lot of discrimination going on. But that fine if you want to talk about the larger issue.

[Sororitysock]

Most administrations have decided they can't/won't discourage a PNM from particating in recruitment even when they don't meet membership requirements. Like in the cases of people with sub-par GPAs, they would rather let the PNM go through then be disappointed so the sororities end up looking like the bad people. What drunk people tell you is just that. Drunk babbling. Sororities do not have to give out all the bids they have available. It is a selective process. We don't take anyone just because thy want to join. That would be a club.