Transgender women in sorority life? - Page 6

anna7363 · #76 06-13-2014, 04:31 PM

The people who told me this was actually the head of sorority life at my school. Her exact quote was "as long as you get a bid the odds of you getting in are very high. As in, as long as you don't kill a sister you will be initiated". I found out later that the advisors had been informed that I was trans explicitly to keep me out. Despite the fact the head of sorority life at my school said that every sorority on campus had their national office say I was eligible for a bid.

AZTheta · #77 06-13-2014, 04:34 PM

anna, this is about you, isn't it? Despite your previous post saying it wasn't. I just need to establish that, because we have two tracks going now - your experience, and the larger picture of transgender membership. FWiwI also agree with AOIIAngel's viewpoint.

I'm simply getting perspective. And membership selection is private, so you really don't know what went on, regardless of what you were told. The bottom line is that you did not receive a bid from an NPC sorority (and you were rushing as a senior?).

anna7363 · #78 06-13-2014, 04:35 PM

techically, but I was a junior in practice. But still

anna7363 · #79 06-13-2014, 04:37 PM

You had one sorority that had 40 bids to give away at the informal.They gave away 9 which means they still had 31 bids left to give. But yeah my friends in that particular sorority told me what happened. It was the situation I described in my very first post.

anna7363 · #80 06-13-2014, 04:39 PM

Maybe I should just leave the chat? Honestly I got the answers I wanted

AZTheta · #81 06-13-2014, 04:39 PM

anna, no sorority can be forced to issue bids. That's a whole other conversation. Membership selection.

I'm sincerely sorry about your experience, and now want to focus on the larger issue. It requires research and thinking and not shooting from the hip.

anna7363 · #82 06-13-2014, 04:41 PM

I never said a sorority can be forced to issue a bid. The whole point was that there was a lot of discrimination going on. But that fine if you want to talk about the larger issue.

Sororitysock · #83 06-13-2014, 04:52 PM

Most administrations have decided they can't/won't discourage a PNM from particating in recruitment even when they don't meet membership requirements. Like in the cases of people with sub-par GPAs, they would rather let the PNM go through then be disappointed so the sororities end up looking like the bad people. What drunk people tell you is just that. Drunk babbling. Sororities do not have to give out all the bids they have available. It is a selective process. We don't take anyone just because thy want to join. That would be a club.

SoCalGirl · #84 06-13-2014, 04:52 PM

Anna, I'm a bit confused on did you get a bid and then advisors moved to block your continuing participation or did you not get a bid at all?

anna7363 · #85 06-13-2014, 04:55 PM

fine but it still doesn't mean that I can't be upset. I wish they had just been honest with me

DubaiSis · #86 06-13-2014, 04:57 PM

I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out the "I have a friend" story would be about herself. But to the OP, member selection is private and anything you hear about what was said in those meetings can't be trusted. Girls will say a lot to an outsider that will be wrong either in their intent to make the recipient feel better or because the member misunderstood what was happening around her.

And my apologies for not using the most current language.

anna7363 · #87 06-13-2014, 04:59 PM

idk the stories I have heard from everyone are incredibly consistent. Like there are only very small variations

sigmadiva · #88 06-13-2014, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anna7363

The people who told me this was actually the head of sorority life at my school. Her exact quote was "as long as you get a bid the odds of you getting in are very high. As in, as long as you don't kill a sister you will be initiated". I found out later that the advisors had been informed that I was trans explicitly to keep me out. Despite the fact the head of sorority life at my school said that every sorority on campus had their national office say I was eligible for a bid.

@ the bold: You answered your own question.

Just know that a person's character, reputation, and lifestyle are the 'soft criteria' that are also taken into consideration for membership - whether it is fair or not, it is done.

In this age of 24/7, everything on social media, it is harder to hide who you are these days. Back in my day of joining, it was all word of mouth which may or may not have been true, so it was easy to ignore. Now, not at all when people post everything about their life on the web.

AOII Angel · #89 06-13-2014, 05:16 PM

Anna, I'm sorry you had this experience. That must have been hard. Your reception would have been much easier here if you'd been honest from the beginning. I think that the advice given you was bad. I'm not sure where you go to school, but I suspect that you'd have to be at a VERY progressive school on the East coast or in California to get a bid to an NPC at this time. Anywhere else, sororities are still very conservative. None of us likes to see people excluded. We as individual members didn't write the rules regarding membership, and they won't change anytime soon as NPC groups were founded for the betterment of women. Until society at large accepts transgender people, I wouldn't expect membership criteria to change. It is happening much more quickly than I thought as young children are attending school as the opposite sex in many areas with no problems. As those children grow up with friends who know them as their chosen sex, we'll start to see things move.

KDCat · #90 06-13-2014, 05:19 PM

I can't imagine that a PNM being trans wouldn't be a problem on most campuses during any NPC recruitment. Being trans isn't something that most people understand and it's something that public opinion is just starting to evolve about. That lack of understanding is going to go against a trans person during membership selection.

The Greek Life advisor should have told you that you were eligible to participate and that you were eligible to get a bid, but that it would be very tough to get a bid, because people don't understand the trans thing.

You may be the best PNM who ever walked through a chapter's doors and most people aren't going to understand it. That's where the general public is on trans issues right now. Sorry. It sucks. It's not fair.

(And can we stop talking about the state of people's genitals? Please. I don't have to whip mine out to prove that I'm a woman and trans people shouldn't have to whip theirs out, either.)