First signs of a bad first date

[KΣGuy316]

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

At 19 I'd think you're a "late" bloomer. 19 isnt bad 39 thats a problem. And any girl who is stupid enough to think less of you because you've never been on a date isnt worth shyt any way. She should appreciate that youre going on a date with her and shouldnt be worried about your past.

Well I'd rather be a late bloomer than a weirdo, that's for sure.

Originally Posted by AGDee

I don't think, at 19, that's a big deal. However, why would you feel compelled to even tell her that on a first date? I'm a lot older than you (like old enough to be your mom), but I don't think college has changed a ton in the dating arena. Dating was different in college. It was more like hanging out. Nobody had transportation or money so "dates" didn't happen like they do when you're in high school or when you're older. It would be more like going to the bar together when half the campus was there anyway or going to the football game and tailgating with the greeks, etc. Or, just hanging out in the dorms with each other, watching a movie, playing cards, etc.

I understand what you're saying, but where I go to school, there isn't exactly much to do in-town other than go eat at a restaurant. I'm not saying I would bring it up by myself, just more of a "if it happened to come up", but I'm sure I'd be steering away from questions about previous dating anyway just because it seems like the polite thing to do. No one wants to talk about their previous dates (unless you've got some revelation about something) because they're on a date with you, and that's all that matters at that point in time.

[DaemonSeid]

There would be no 2nd date if our first date consisted of us going to a strip bar.

[Little32]

If he stays/gets on the phone or checks text messages all night.

I had this one guy who was on the phone when I came into the restaurant and he stayed on the phone for about five minutes after I sat down at the table. The rest of the date was okay, but after that it was over before it started.

If he can't pull his own weight in terms of conversation. I have met guys who have practically had me falling asleep at the table.

I am not a fan of cursing either, certainly not when we are first getting to know each other, and not really at all. I haven't run into too many guys that will curse on the first date, but that would be a deal breaker.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

LOL!! I've never been one to have someone call with an "emergency." That takes too much work. If it isn't working, it just isn't and I'll tell them so. It's not working so I think we should end this date. I don't need to waste my good free night time minutes having someone call to pretend to need me. I'm too grown for that.

One time, when I shared that it wasn't working, he stormed out of the restaurant and was going to leave me there. I now have a FakeCall app on my Droid that I can pre-set to "call" me, making it look like it's one of my kids. I do use it..lol.

I got a real phone call from my daughter on my first date with HD. He told me later he thought it was "the call" and was surprised that I dealt with her issue and didn't leave. The phone things all change once you have kids. You can't ignore calls from your kids, especially when they are home alone.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by AGDee

One time, when I shared that it wasn't working, he stormed out of the restaurant and was going to leave me there. I now have a FakeCall app on my Droid that I can pre-set to "call" me, making it look like it's one of my kids. I do use it..lol.

Do you really need a fake call to excuse yourself from a date? LOL.

Originally Posted by AGDee

You can't ignore calls from your kids, especially when they are home alone.

True.

I think the first date breaker is in how people handle such calls.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Do you really need a fake call to excuse yourself from a date? LOL.

I do it now because being honest about "I'm not feeling the chemistry that you seem to be feeling" resulted in a pretty violent reaction. When I say "stormed" out, I mean, slammed down his silverware on the table, got up and started to walk out. I threw money on the table for the waitress and ran to follow him. I got into his car to have him drive me back to my car (about a mile away). He drove like a total maniac and shoved me out of the car as soon as I opened the car door to get out. That one date made me never say that during the date and NEVER go anywhere in his car on the first date either. We live and learn

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I do it now because being honest about "I'm not feeling the chemistry that you seem to be feeling" resulted in a pretty violent reaction. When I say "stormed" out, I mean, slammed down his silverware on the table, got up and started to walk out. I threw money on the table for the waitress and ran to follow him. I got into his car to have him drive me back to my car (about a mile away). He drove like a total maniac and shoved me out of the car as soon as I opened the car door to get out. That one date made me never say that during the date and NEVER go anywhere in his car on the first date either. We live and learn

Wow.

I don't understand mess like that. If a date isn't working out, so be it. I'm not gonna get all butthurt because there's no chemistry. I hate when my friends come back with stories about "Man, that bitch was this-and-that! She was boring and made the date suck and said nothing would come of this!"

I'm like "Why are y'all so damn mad? Was she the last single woman in the city? Get over it."

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I do it now because being honest about "I'm not feeling the chemistry that you seem to be feeling" resulted in a pretty violent reaction. When I say "stormed" out, I mean, slammed down his silverware on the table, got up and started to walk out. I threw money on the table for the waitress and ran to follow him. I got into his car to have him drive me back to my car (about a mile away). He drove like a total maniac and shoved me out of the car as soon as I opened the car door to get out. That one date made me never say that during the date and NEVER go anywhere in his car on the first date either. We live and learn

We definitely live and learn. In hindsight, it's easy to say that you shouldn't have gotten in the car with him. I'd rather walk to my car a mile away than get in the car after telling a man that I'm not feeling the chemistry and he slammed down his silverware.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I do it now because being honest about "I'm not feeling the chemistry that you seem to be feeling" resulted in a pretty violent reaction. When I say "stormed" out, I mean, slammed down his silverware on the table, got up and started to walk out. I threw money on the table for the waitress and ran to follow him. I got into his car to have him drive me back to my car (about a mile away). He drove like a total maniac and shoved me out of the car as soon as I opened the car door to get out. That one date made me never say that during the date and NEVER go anywhere in his car on the first date either. We live and learn

Hmmm, I guess my problem with this is that my mother always told me to carry enough money to be able to call a cab. If he was acting like that, I would have been afraid he would have tried to harm me, I would NOT have gotten back into his vehicle.

[Fleur de Lis]

- Negativity (talks about how much he hates his job, etc.)
- Is rude to the host/server
- Doesn't tip enough (you can't always see the check, but a man who is stingy with tips is stingy with love)
- Doesn't look you in the eye when he's talking
- Expects you to carry the conversation

[KSUViolet06]

Catching someone in little lies.

Example: When we first spoke on the phone to arrange Date #1 (a week after meeting) you said you were an architect.

While talking on Date #1, you now work in seasonal contruction.

If you lie about what you do for a living, there's really no telling what else you will lie about.

[KΣGuy316]

I'm surprised none of the women on here haven't mentioned:

If he picks me up in a minivan. (An especially crappy one to say the least)

or

If, when in conversation, he says "my wife" at any point.

[BAckbOwlsgIrl]

* REALLY believes in aliens and their colonies on Earth
* Has Social Anxiety disorder and does not like large groups of people
* Puts the menu 2 inches from nose only to let you know he is visually impaired which was not previously disclosed.
* Multiple workers compensations claims and no job.

[AGDee]

I have to add, one of the smartest men I ever dated didn't have a degree yet when I was dating him (and he was in his late 30s then). He'd been career Army and had started his degree. When he retired from the Army, he went back and finished it up. He was articulate regarding a wide variety of subjects. However, that's what is more important to me. I need to be able to have real conversations about a variety of topics as well as someone who never stops learning. That man could kick my butt at Scrabble I tell ya.

[dreamseeker]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

All in all, when it comes to dating and sustaining relationships, don't be that which you despise and give what you expect to get.

this. i wish a lot more people would see that. maybe you should also tell Chili this